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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Power Struggle with Winter Gear
MARSTELAC 12:22 PM 11-17-2010
Sorry if this has been addressed but I cannot find anything on it....Do any of you have a power struggle with getting a 2 yo to keep hat/mittens on outside? It is bitter out today and I have a 2 yo who refuses to keep his stuff on and screams when you try to get it back on him. I made him sit on the porch today while the rest of us played games outside (he was close by and I can see/hear him)....
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DCMomOf3 12:38 PM 11-17-2010
If you can, I would find a hat that strapped under the chin, put the jacket hood up and secure with a scarf tied in the back. The gloves I'd put on before the coat, make sure the wrists are still inside the sleeve and tighten the velcro around the glove as tight as you can. If he still manages to take them off, I'd make him stay out of the snow, like you did today.
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MARSTELAC 12:43 PM 11-17-2010
I did those (no scarf tho) and he screamed and pulled them all off himself. When we came in, I gave out stickers to all who kept their stuff on, he had a royal fit. We'll see if that helps for tomorrow.!!! thank you!!!
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nannyde 01:16 PM 11-17-2010
Originally Posted by MARSTELAC:
Sorry if this has been addressed but I cannot find anything on it....Do any of you have a power struggle with getting a 2 yo to keep hat/mittens on outside? It is bitter out today and I have a 2 yo who refuses to keep his stuff on and screams when you try to get it back on him. I made him sit on the porch today while the rest of us played games outside (he was close by and I can see/hear him)....
Nope

We buy long sleeved thick sweatshirts and sew the wrists shut. We pop one on the kid before the coat gets put on or one on over the coat. It's easier to pop it over the coat. You have to have oversized sweatshirt... usually two sizes bigger than the kid wears.

Built in mittens they can't get off ;-)
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Crystal 01:52 PM 11-17-2010
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Nope

We buy long sleeved thick sweatshirts and sew the wrists shut. We pop one on the kid before the coat gets put on or one on over the coat. It's easier to pop it over the coat. You have to have oversized sweatshirt... usually two sizes bigger than the kid wears.

Built in mittens they can't get off ;-)
hahaha!!! For some reason, when I picture this, it cracks me up! lol!
Good idea though!

I LOVE California weather, and am SO glad I don't have to deal with those issues!!!
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SilverSabre25 02:00 PM 11-17-2010
Natural consequences: If you don't want to wear your mittens, your hands will be cold. You complain that your hands are cold, I offer mittens. If you don't want to wear your hat, your head will get cold. If you complain, I offer hat.

Logical consequence: if he won't wear the gear, he can't be outside. This obviously won't work when you have other kids and no other grown-up. No, sitting out the games is NOT a logical consequence in this case...he's still outside.

It doesn't usually take kids too terribly long to figure out that they are more comfortable wearing the gear than not. *SOME* kids don't care. You put it on in the first place and just calmly pick it up when he takes it off, telling him, "If you get cold and change your mind, I have your stuff".

NOTE: This only works when not wearing hat/mittens for 15 or 20 minutes won't be a major detriment--i.e. above 20 or so. But I wouldn't think you'd be taking littles out when it's much colder than that. No one is going to die from not wearing a hat or mittens for 20 or 30 minutes in 20 degree weather...and I virtually guarantee that it will only take a time or two (or a few minutes) of it not being a power struggle for the child to change his mind.
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laundrymom 02:06 PM 11-17-2010
I am soooooo doing this,.. currently I buy tube socks, put them on them,.. then their coat,.. by the time they yank the sock off Ive busted them and made them stop. lol

Originally Posted by Crystal:
hahaha!!! For some reason, when I picture this, it cracks me up! lol!
Good idea though!

I LOVE California weather, and am SO glad I don't have to deal with those issues!!!

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nannyde 03:37 PM 11-17-2010
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
I am soooooo doing this,.. currently I buy tube socks, put them on them,.. then their coat,.. by the time they yank the sock off Ive busted them and made them stop. lol
One of the best tricks is to buy them super big and then double up the sleeve. So you turn the sleeve inside out and sew it about three inches up. Then you sew up the wrists. That way you have double material at the bottom of the sleeve. They are big enough to fit OVER the coat which is way easier to put on then trying to put it under the coat where you have to thread their hand thru the sleeve of the coat.

We call them picking sweatshirts and use them for MANY purposes. Outdoor mittens/hand coverings is just ONE of them.
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Luna 04:09 PM 11-17-2010
Originally Posted by nannyde:
One of the best tricks is to buy them super big and then double up the sleeve. So you turn the sleeve inside out and sew it about three inches up. Then you sew up the wrists. That way you have double material at the bottom of the sleeve. They are big enough to fit OVER the coat which is way easier to put on then trying to put it under the coat where you have to thread their hand thru the sleeve of the coat.

We call them picking sweatshirts and use them for MANY purposes. Outdoor mittens/hand coverings is just ONE of them.
I would LOVE to see a picture of this in action Why do you call them picking sweatshirts?
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kendallina 04:34 PM 11-17-2010
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
Natural consequences: If you don't want to wear your mittens, your hands will be cold. You complain that your hands are cold, I offer mittens. If you don't want to wear your hat, your head will get cold. If you complain, I offer hat.

Logical consequence: if he won't wear the gear, he can't be outside. This obviously won't work when you have other kids and no other grown-up. No, sitting out the games is NOT a logical consequence in this case...he's still outside.

It doesn't usually take kids too terribly long to figure out that they are more comfortable wearing the gear than not. *SOME* kids don't care. You put it on in the first place and just calmly pick it up when he takes it off, telling him, "If you get cold and change your mind, I have your stuff".

NOTE: This only works when not wearing hat/mittens for 15 or 20 minutes won't be a major detriment--i.e. above 20 or so. But I wouldn't think you'd be taking littles out when it's much colder than that. No one is going to die from not wearing a hat or mittens for 20 or 30 minutes in 20 degree weather...and I virtually guarantee that it will only take a time or two (or a few minutes) of it not being a power struggle for the child to change his mind.
Yup, I do natural consequences too. I strongly encourage the kids to wear their stuff and that works for 90% of kids. For those few that don't care, fine. Their hands will be cold.
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DBug 06:25 AM 11-18-2010
It's just like eating and pottying -- for some kids it's a matter of control. I say, let them have it . Some kids only need a reminder to put mitts back on, but others need more than that. I have them put their mitts on the step where they can get them when their hands get cold. Unless it's frost-bite weather, it's not a hill I'm willing to die on
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care-care 06:59 AM 11-18-2010
I would love to see a picture of this how creative!!
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Preschool/daycare teacher 03:00 PM 11-18-2010
Originally Posted by DBug:
It's just like eating and pottying -- for some kids it's a matter of control. I say, let them have it . Some kids only need a reminder to put mitts back on, but others need more than that. I have them put their mitts on the step where they can get them when their hands get cold. Unless it's frost-bite weather, it's not a hill I'm willing to die on
What if the parent specifically asks you to make sure their child wears a hat outside? I know the child has to because he has a lot of trouble with ear achs and ear infections, but when the child won't keep it on...?
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QualiTcare 03:52 AM 11-19-2010
Originally Posted by DBug:
It's just like eating and pottying -- for some kids it's a matter of control. I say, let them have it . Some kids only need a reminder to put mitts back on, but others need more than that. I have them put their mitts on the step where they can get them when their hands get cold. Unless it's frost-bite weather, it's not a hill I'm willing to die on
i agree. gloves make me nuts anyway cus they always get lost. for my own kids, i put them on a string and tie the string through the back of their jacket and then run it down the sleeves. that way the gloves are right at the cuffs of their jacket all the time and if their hands get cold enough - they WILL put them on!
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nannyde 04:23 AM 11-19-2010
http://www.nanshouse.com/apps/photos...toid=106924234

http://www.nanshouse.com/apps/photos...toid=106924235

http://www.nanshouse.com/apps/photos...toid=106924236

These are pics of how to do the picking sweatshirts or shirts. This example is one we use for outdoor over or under coat mittens. Double backed material... sewn.. and then bottom of the sleeve sewn.

Pop over coat and voila... mittens that are warm and can't be removed.
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QualiTcare 04:37 AM 11-19-2010
you must have children banging their foreheads on the wall by the end of playtime. it would be impossible to grip anything with those on. mittens are bad enough, but the thumb is at least separate for picking things up. i hate, hate, hated mittens when i was a kid and refuse to make kids wear them because you can't function properly. that would drive me nuts.
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nannyde 04:49 AM 11-19-2010
Originally Posted by Luna:
I would LOVE to see a picture of this in action Why do you call them picking sweatshirts?
Back in the day I had this kid who had exema from head to toe and it was horrible.

She would itch so badly and pick the sores. No matter what medicine/cream/steroids... whatever she was on... it wouldn't stop the picking. She would pick the sores raw to the point where they would bleed and scab. Then she would pick the scabs. It became a nervous habit of hers and she became a picker to calm herself and to ease the itching.

I could redirect her when she was up and playing but I couldn't do it when she was napping. I would get her up from nap and she would have blood all over her fingernails... the bedding... in the mesh of the play pens.

So I got the idea to block off her fingers while she was sleeping by just sewing up the sleeves of a long sleeved shirt with extra long arms.

It worked FABULOUS and the Mom was so so so happy to have something that worked in blocking the behavior and helping the healing of her sores.

So that was the birth of the first picking shirt. Since then I've come up with a lot of uses for them. They work great and I have a big stock of them in every size and in thin t-shirt to thick sweatshirt material. I have my staff assistant sew them when we are low on kids and she doesn't have anything to do. We make each of them by hand to get the right thickness and to get super tight stitching.

We use them for any reason we could need to block off their hands or to provide easy to get to cloth to their mouths.

I have used them with kids who are cloth suckers. We don't allow anything in the beds so kids who are used to sleeping and sucking on the cloth stuffed animals do really well with a thick cloth sweatshirt over their hands. We are able to just wash them so we don't end up with a pool of drool all over the beds after nap. It saves the JMason play yards from the damage done by excessive drooling from a cloth sucker.

We use them to block thumbs or fingers off if a kid has sucked his thumb or finger to the point where there is raw abraisions on their knuckles from sucking.

We use them for cold handed kids.

We use them for colicky babies. Having "gloved" up hands is very soothing to fussy babies.

We use them for hair twirlers during nap.

We use them for kids that are double fisted slamming food down and putting way too much in their mouth at one time. We make a one handed picking shirt so they can only eat one handed. This helps them to SLOW down when they eat. It usually works within a few weeks. We change hands back and forth every day so one day they eat left handed and next day they eat right handed. Eating with one hand trains them to slow down and relax during meals. Works great and is so much safer than two handed eating for these kids.

We use them for fingernail chewers.

We use them for pickers.. kids who will sit and pick on your playpen or their clothes during nap.

Mostly we use them for our walks and for an extra layer of warmth during nap. I don't allow blankets in the nursery so if it's chilly in the house we will pop picking sweatshirts over their clothes during nap.
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nannyde 04:52 AM 11-19-2010
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
you must have children banging their foreheads on the wall by the end of playtime. it would be impossible to grip anything with those on. mittens are bad enough, but the thumb is at least separate for picking things up. i hate, hate, hated mittens when i was a kid and refuse to make kids wear them because you can't function properly. that would drive me nuts.
I don't really need them much for playtime unless it's to protect an excoriated thumb or finger.

But they figure out how to play with them in a few minutes. Maybe... five to seven minutes and they are playing like normal. It doesn't affect the use of the thumb. They have ROOM in material. They aren't tight.
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nannyde 05:05 AM 11-19-2010
Oh we used them this summer a lot for mosquito bites. I have three little girls that are very allergic to mosqitos.

We use the long sleeved picking shirts at nap time to help them NOT itch while they were sleeping. They would end up with these enormous golf ball size swells from the itching. The shirts helped SO much.
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MG&Lsmom 09:31 AM 11-19-2010
I love the picking shirts!

What about fingerless mittens, like with the tops cut off. not completely covered or for digging in snow, but if he can see his fingers he might at least keep them on. Better than nothing.
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Tags:winter, winter cloths, winter gear power struggle
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