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Old 02-02-2011, 03:14 PM
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busymomof2 busymomof2 is offline
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Default I'm Starting To Feel Uncomfortable

My parents are starting to show their true colors and it's making me uncomfortable. One parent gave me a tub full of little people toys..GREAT. Then a couple of days later she asked if I would take her daughter for the weekend. I was so taken back by the request and I did not give her answer right away. After discussing it with my husband, I called her back and declined. I don't do evening or weekend care and she knows it. I think she set me up with the toys so that I would feel obligated to say yes. Another of my parents asked me to help her start a daycare. I was shocked. I would be happy to help anyone but she lives nearby and I already have competion all around me. I said I would help her but I really don't want to help someone that I will be competing with. She even wants to do what I am doing right down to the same age group, preschool, etc. Advice please. Should I be worried or is it just me feeling obligated.
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Old 02-02-2011, 03:27 PM
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tenderhearts tenderhearts is offline
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If this makes you feel any better, I use to watch a neighbor girl, we were friends with her dad, his girlfriend moved in and I continued watching her even though she stayed home with their son who was a baby at the time, (this girl was NOT he daugher) when her schedule went really part time like 1 day a week I told them I really couldn't do it anymore, then he came and asked me if it would bother me if his girlfriend started daycare, they live 2 doors away, we live on a small cul-de-sac, at first I was concerned but learned very quickly her style of care was MUCH different than mine and her clientel was MUCH different than mine. Her daycare kids 12 mo old even were EVERY where in our road in other peoples yards and she did NOT supervise very well at all, snot coming out of their noses, to the way she potty trained, I was not worried anymore. Needless to say she had very flaky clientel and was in court her first 6 mo of doing care. Needless to say she was closed in less than 2 years. Not saying your situation will be the same but you've been doing care longer and most people will want that. Hopefully it works out, I wouldn't worry too much....
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Old 02-02-2011, 03:28 PM
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Cat Herder Cat Herder is offline
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Beware the "let's be best friends" types... I will not keep kids of friends or family and they all know it.

Now, as far as helping them start their own daycare, I have done it several times. If I can help one Mom to financially be able to stay home with their kids I wont hesitate. I help with all the policies down to assembling bookshelves.

So far only one made it more than a year, though...

They see how I manage my groups and assume it is really easy since I can do this in my sleep. Mostly I was born this way but the rest is YEARS of doing it the wrong way first, like everyone else

Most realize they have never worked this hard at any outside job and go back to work with a new found respect for me. I put them on my waiting list and bring them back in when and if I can....

Every cycle of this seems to buy me about 4 years before someone else asks....they talk to each other
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Old 02-02-2011, 03:28 PM
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nannyde nannyde is offline
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Just tell the parent to buy this: http://www.daycare.com/advertisers/startingadaycare/

If she is going to start a day care NOTHING you say or do will change her mind. You could end up being her go to guy for free advice.

Just tell her to RESEARCH RESEARCH RESEARCH and buy as many "how to" books as she can get her hands on. Tell her it is an awesome job and she will LOVE it and she will be GREAT at it.

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Old 02-02-2011, 03:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
Just tell her to RESEARCH RESEARCH RESEARCH and buy as many "how to" books as she can get her hands on. Tell her it is an awesome job and she will LOVE it and she will be GREAT at it.

I sense a bit of tongue-in-cheek action.
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Old 02-02-2011, 04:08 PM
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busymomof2, are you licensed? If you are, that gives you a step up from your neighbor starting. Don't feel obligated to help at all. Try not to be mean about it because you are neighbors after all. If you want to help some, I would tell her to work on her CDA (costly and time consuming but worth the education) and tell her to "buy" a start up kit or something so she actually spends money, lol, she may decide not to take your advice from now on if she needs to spend money on things you recommend. As far as the evening/weekend care, I can see how your neighbor *might offer that since you do not. It's a good thing you said no to this weekend request of the parent because it builds the strong foundation of them knowing they can't walk all over you. Good job!
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Old 02-02-2011, 04:48 PM
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I would probably help out, but that's just the type of person I am... Always doing service for others with a smile!

At least she came to you and asked you up front and didn't go behind your back like my neighbor across my street did. My neighbor had a baby and was to return to work he she turned 1... A few months prior to her returning to work she came over, unannounced, asking questions regarding my daycare and contract, prices, etc. A few months later my son told me on the way to school it was like a Q&A session. She asked him so many questions about my dc. I was furious when her daughter told me that he mom just opened her dc. I just felt betrayed. I would've been more than happy to assist her in setting up her dc, but she went about it the sneaky way and I don't stand for that. I feel bad, but often laugh sometimes because it been 4 months and she still doesn't have any kids.
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Old 02-02-2011, 05:00 PM
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Thanks ladies. I just feel like I did all the hard work (coming up with procedures, all forms, schedule, activities ect) and she is just gonna take it and run with it. But your right she did come to me and didn't do it behind my back...I appreciate that. She will also get an eye opener when she figures out it's alot of work, expenses, long hours, for low pay and being unappreciated by parents. LOL she is the one parent who asked me for a discount. I wonder how she is gonna handle it when someone wants a discount from her.
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Old 02-02-2011, 05:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DCMomOf3 View Post
I sense a bit of tongue-in-cheek action.


It's a "do as you are told" job.

Do as the parents tell you.

Do as the State tells you.

Do as the "child experts" tell you.

And do as the KIDS tell you.

That's all you need to know and you'll be just fine.
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  #10  
Old 02-02-2011, 05:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by busymomof2 View Post
Thanks ladies. I just feel like I did all the hard work (coming up with procedures, all forms, schedule, activities ect) and she is just gonna take it and run with it. But your right she did come to me and didn't do it behind my back...I appreciate that. She will also get an eye opener when she figures out it's alot of work, expenses, long hours, for low pay and being unappreciated by parents. LOL she is the one parent who asked me for a discount. I wonder how she is gonna handle it when someone wants a discount from her.
Does this person already have a handbook and contract from you? I can't remember if you said they were enrolled or not. I was be angry if someone used MY forms because I worked very hard--so far. I have shared my contract with someone locally, but the contract was the easy part and it doesn't have anything on rates so mainly the setup is the same. Yes, I did the work, reading, research, and created it. I don't mind sharing what I have here, BUT not for a neighbor because it would be terrible to have an interview at both places and then both be labeled as "copy cats" because the handbook and contract were the same.
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Old 02-02-2011, 06:33 PM
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I would feel the same way then again YOU are YOU and she is she and people choose a provider based on how YOU make them feel. How their child will be in your care etc. Don't worry about it. Help her out, be a friend. And when she quits her group will be yours, LOL
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Old 02-02-2011, 07:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by busymomof2 View Post
My parents are starting to show their true colors and it's making me uncomfortable. One parent gave me a tub full of little people toys..GREAT. Then a couple of days later she asked if I would take her daughter for the weekend. I was so taken back by the request and I did not give her answer right away. After discussing it with my husband, I called her back and declined. I don't do evening or weekend care and she knows it. I think she set me up with the toys so that I would feel obligated to say yes.
I tend to be a little cynical these days and probably would have had the same thought so I can understand why you might feel like she set you up. On the other hand, if she didn't demand her little people toys back when you told her you wouldn't take her dd over the weekend, it could be that one had nothing to do with the other. She may have been in a tough spot trying to get child care and just figured she'd ask just in case you were willing to do it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by busymomof2 View Post
Another of my parents asked me to help her start a daycare. I was shocked. I would be happy to help anyone but she lives nearby and I already have competion all around me. I said I would help her but I really don't want to help someone that I will be competing with. She even wants to do what I am doing right down to the same age group, preschool, etc. Advice please. Should I be worried or is it just me feeling obligated.
If there is little demand for child care in your area, you might have good reason to be worried about competition but if that isn't the case, I wouldn't worry too much. I used to live in a cul-de-sac where 3 of us were child care providers. It worked out well and now that I'm living in another town, I miss them and the benefits that came with having other child care providers live so close by. Our kids played well together, we shared craft ideas, we all knew the others' dc kids and parents so we could vent to each other when we needed to. We covered for each other when one of us was sick, on vacation, had a family emergency, etc. (This made the parents happy because they didn't have to scramble for child care and we were happy because it meant making a little extra money subbing.) If we got calls from parents looking for care and couldn't take the child because of capacity issues, we always gave the parents the other providers' phone #s which made us look better to the parents and gave us more business leads -- way more pros than cons!

I also had a day care parent leave me to start her own day care. Like a previous poster said, she found out it was a lot more work than she thought it would be and quit shortly after she opened. I also got one of her dc kids (who I absolutely adored!) so that situation worked out well, too.
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Old 02-03-2011, 01:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Abigail View Post
Does this person already have a handbook and contract from you? I can't remember if you said they were enrolled or not. I was be angry if someone used MY forms because I worked very hard--so far. I have shared my contract with someone locally, but the contract was the easy part and it doesn't have anything on rates so mainly the setup is the same. Yes, I did the work, reading, research, and created it. I don't mind sharing what I have here, BUT not for a neighbor because it would be terrible to have an interview at both places and then both be labeled as "copy cats" because the handbook and contract were the same.
Yea she has been a parent since last summer. She has my contract, policy & procedures, daily report, newsletter, menus, kinder readiness assessment, flyers, rates, website, etc. There is not much of a need for daycare in my area due to the economy (that's why she is leaving her job- can't afford expenses for 2 kids). I am surrounded by daycares and just don't think it is in my best interest to help another get started to compete with. I have been open since the summer, have never been full and all my families are part-timers except for the one that is going to leave to start her own dc.
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