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Old 08-02-2011, 09:14 AM
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Default Needing Health Insurance

so i am a provider and as u know have no benifits so we have health insurance through my hubbys work but he is always making me feel guilty cause he has to pay almost 500.00 in medical insurance for me and our 2 kids (his work pays for his insurance) they just had an increase in rates in june and every thurs (paydays) i have to hear how he cant pay it anymore it is just to much money and he thinks i dont care cause i dont see it comming out of his check I do care and am looking into diff ins. companys tried blue cross but it would be about the same $ he is paying now. any ideas of any other ins. co. for self employeed
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Old 08-02-2011, 10:01 AM
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I'm having trouble getting past the he's making you feel guilty part. Is all your money and bills separate???

I can tell you it is probably A LOT cheaper for him to carry all 4 of you on his work insurance than it is for him to carry himself and the 2 kids and you pay for your own. I couldn't imagine my husband making me feel guilty for having to pay for the health insurance of our family.
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Old 08-02-2011, 10:13 AM
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I have just gotten my kids and I health insurance in Ohio. I can tell you, you probably are not going to do much better.

This is what we pay.
$5000 deductible per person, max out of pocker $10,000 per family per year.
Covers nothing until the deductibles are met, except for wellness, like physical, pap, etc.
Me age 51, son age 22, daughter age 20.
I am paying $234 per month.

Husband....we are paying $235 per month thru Anthem. He is considered a smoker even though he has quit. His is $5500 deductible per year. Covers nothing until deductible is met, except for wellness, like physical.

It is rediculously expensive. If I was to put him on my policy it was about $75 a month more. Crazy. Giving him his own policy was cheaper.

It really sucks to tell your kids sorry, but you are not sick enough to go to the doctor.

For those who have not had to deal with being uninsured, consider yourself very fortunate. In my whole life, this is the first time we/I have dealt with it. It sucks. Our system is so screwed up.

I will never understand, how my husband and I, who have paid into taxes for over 70 year combined, can not qualify for a Medicaid card when we need it. Oh, we work our asses off, are responsible, and this is what we get....while people totally abuse the system having children they simply can't afford while the rest of us foot the bill. The American way.

I don't expect anyone to pay for my health care, but seriously, why can't those of us who have lost our jobs and healthcare, pay a monthly rate for a Medicaid card like the users get for free. Is just isn't right.

Go to einsurance.com and plug in your information, the quotes that appear are pretty accurate.
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Old 08-02-2011, 10:21 AM
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Does your state have insurance? If all your bills are separate, you may be able to qualify for a reduced rate or even almost free care for your kids. The plans normally aren't the best, but it might help. When DH was between jobs and we had no insurance for 3 months, it cost me $12/child/month to get the covered through our state. We also qualified for subsidized premiums once he did get covered, but it wasn't any cheaper than what his employer offered to cover the whole family. BTW, we pay the same for 5 people, with $7500 in annual deductibles before they start paying for anything but a physical. My pap smear cost me $600, and another $450 for my yearly blood work.
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Old 08-02-2011, 10:35 AM
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If it will make you feel any better, after a corporate downsizing 10 years ago, we lost my DH company insurance. We had to pick up the insurance on our own.
We now pay $765 a month for just the two of us! With DH going on medicare in November, it will only go down by $200 a month, (I'm 51, so many yrs before medicare)
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Old 08-02-2011, 10:43 AM
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yes i know he shouldnt be doing this but this is how he is and i PUT up with it and tell him others would not so he is lucky i stay around.
Yes all of our bills & money is seperate i have set bills from the household i pay like utilities, cell phones, house ins., my credit card, weekly groc. and supplies all out of my dc income which leaves me with about $40 extra a week sometimes less. He pays for both vehicles, electricity, vehicle ins, health ins., a bank loan payment, another bank loan payment, and a care credit card payment. granted he does pay for more but he does make more then i do

we argue about money all the time this is 99% of all our arguments and the last time I was ready to just call it quits and leave but figured what would that solve we still both would be responsible for our debt we created togehter as a married couple. we dont have an enourmous amt of debt but will take us quite some time to get out of it. we are in our middle 30s his parents never had much so i cant for the life of me figure out why he see money this way but mine r pretty well off. It is like we grew up in the oppiste homes I am an avid coupon user and dont buy anything unless we absolutely NEED it or it is on sale I couldnt tell u the last thing i bought for myself but he hunts and had to have a 500$ bow that he charged but i get the evil eye and mouth cause he pays for that bill so he can do whatever he wants. his money attitude is like this not only with ins. but other things always throwing in my face how he pays for my car so i should keep gas in it and pay for maintence of it. I know I know why do i put up with it

sorry for the vent

yes i have checked into our state ins. but I cannot quilify cause of our income and the kids would have to be without ins for at least 3mo. before they would consider them on a plan then it wouldnt even be a guarentee they would get it.
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Old 08-02-2011, 10:53 AM
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Sorry if this is harsh but....

He's tired of paying for it? What the bleep!?! Arent those his kids, and aren't you his wife? It's BOTH your responsibilities to pay for that health insurance. And you have a job that doesnt have insurance, but it contributes MONEY to the household bills, so you have the money to pay for that health insurance! The way I see it, you are BOTH paying the health insurance! Part of having kids is being responsible enough to provide for their needs, which includes health insurance. What does your daycare income pay for? For instance my husband pays all the bills, but I pay all the household expenses. I buy all the groceries, and things we need for the house. I have NEVER ONCE felt like I was tired of paying for HIS groceries! Nor has he ever felt like he was tired of paying for MY car insurance.

I agree, health insurance is horribly expensive, and gets worse by the day. But it will be way cheaper for you through his work policy than if you purchase a policy on your own. Are you paying $500 for a month for 3 of you? If so, that is cheap for health insurance! Most plans now a days are a lot more than that.

If you are checking into purchasing a policy LOOK CAREFULLY a the policies. It may seem cheaper, but the coverage may be drastically lower. Health insurance can be very confusing.

If he thinks insurance is expensive, try going without it. If you or your kids get sick, you need to be able to get it taken care of. You dont want to have to compromise your childrens health because you are afraid to run up a drs bill.
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Old 08-02-2011, 11:13 AM
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dont be sorry I completly agree with you I dont know why I think it is easier to just stay and put up with it rather then leave cause i dont see him changing his view on $ ....ok so that is not true deep down i do know why i keep telling myself that the good times are good. I have a very neg self esteem (i am about 125lbs overweight and cant see anyone else wanting me) I am working on losing weight and trying to feel better about myself but it is hard and I cant imagine ripping my kids away from him he is a good loving dad and if we can just get through this tough time we will be ok.

oh and I do pay for what i mentioned in the other post and also I pay for all the copays for our kids dr. vistits and their prescripts. thankfully i dont get sick or need dr. care often but when i do i also pay for that too. but our daughter did have her tonsils out last spring and he does pay for that we put it on a care credit card. we do have GREAT insurance and only have to pay 20% out of pocket I couldnt imagine what it would have cost if we didnt have ins.

thank you all for your input I can never come with any good comebacks in the heat of an argument i will keep some of these in the back of my mind for the next time (which will prob be this thursday payday)
maybe just maybe he will see the light of day and change his attitude about it but if not one of these days I will have had enough and take my kids and be on our way
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Old 08-02-2011, 11:16 AM
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NEED UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE! 'Nuff said.
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Old 08-02-2011, 11:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SandeeAR View Post
If it will make you feel any better, after a corporate downsizing 10 years ago, we lost my DH company insurance. We had to pick up the insurance on our own.
We now pay $765 a month for just the two of us! With DH going on medicare in November, it will only go down by $200 a month, (I'm 51, so many yrs before medicare)
We pay about the same for our COBRA. We will have COBRA until 12/31, then we are in trouble. I've checked out a couple of plans, the cheapest was $1400 a month, IF we could qualify. We both have health issues - diabetes, high blood pressure, and 2 rounds of breast cancer. I'm 57, dh is 56, so we have a long time before medicare.
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Old 08-02-2011, 11:23 AM
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Originally Posted by SandeeAR View Post
If it will make you feel any better, after a corporate downsizing 10 years ago, we lost my DH company insurance. We had to pick up the insurance on our own.
We now pay $765 a month for just the two of us! With DH going on medicare in November, it will only go down by $200 a month, (I'm 51, so many yrs before medicare)
Quote:
Originally Posted by sharlan View Post
We pay about the same for our COBRA. We will have COBRA until 12/31, then we are in trouble. I've checked out a couple of plans, the cheapest was $1400 a month, IF we could qualify. We both have health issues - diabetes, high blood pressure, and 2 rounds of breast cancer. I'm 57, dh is 56, so we have a long time before medicare.
We picked up the COBRA in the beginning and carried on with it. Check out United Healthcare. That is who we have. I have diabetes, High blood pressure, High cholesteral, GERD and a benign breast cancer scare.
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Old 08-02-2011, 11:30 AM
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I have blue cross and it is 323 a month for just myself and my son. We have a 4500 deductable and 100% coverage after that.

I think your DH should offer to pay his portion of daycare and you can then reimburse him for his portion of health insurance. Print him a weekly bill and tell him you will offer it in kind since he pays the insurance.
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Old 08-02-2011, 11:44 AM
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oh THANK YOU JoJosmommy I never even thought of it that way ....I will do that the next time i hear him say a word about what he pays I live in a small town so our daycare fees arent as high as some of our sourounding areas but I do lose about $600 a mo. cause our kids take up 2 spots I just never have thought of it that way because they are my kids so I do get the advantage of being with them everyday (that is priceless to me) cause i choose to have a home daycare but putting it that way might just change his ways of thinking about it.

oh by the way I am a registered user and absolutly LOVE daycare.com I dont have anyone besides my family to talk to all my social friends are my family members. I love reading all the views on here.
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Old 08-02-2011, 11:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MG&Lsmom View Post
Does your state have insurance? If all your bills are separate, you may be able to qualify for a reduced rate or even almost free care for your kids. The plans normally aren't the best, but it might help. When DH was between jobs and we had no insurance for 3 months, it cost me $12/child/month to get the covered through our state. We also qualified for subsidized premiums once he did get covered, but it wasn't any cheaper than what his employer offered to cover the whole family. BTW, we pay the same for 5 people, with $7500 in annual deductibles before they start paying for anything but a physical. My pap smear cost me $600, and another $450 for my yearly blood work.
The law states that now insurance companies MUST pay for wellness things, like physicals, pap smears, etc. At least that is what I have been told by the insurance people I have been talking to....and that has been a lot of them.
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Old 08-02-2011, 11:56 AM
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Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia View Post
NEED UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE! 'Nuff said.
YES WE DO! Germany does it, Canada does it, we are one of the biggest industrialized countries that don't. It is a very sad situation here. Heathcare has become a money maker.
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Old 08-02-2011, 11:58 AM
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Originally Posted by SandeeAR View Post
We picked up the COBRA in the beginning and carried on with it. Check out United Healthcare. That is who we have. I have diabetes, High blood pressure, High cholesteral, GERD and a benign breast cancer scare.
Gee, are we related????
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Old 08-02-2011, 12:13 PM
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Gee, are we related????
LOL
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Old 08-02-2011, 12:43 PM
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Originally Posted by meganlavonnesmommy View Post
Sorry if this is harsh but....

He's tired of paying for it? What the bleep!?! Arent those his kids, and aren't you his wife? It's BOTH your responsibilities to pay for that health insurance. And you have a job that doesnt have insurance, but it contributes MONEY to the household bills, so you have the money to pay for that health insurance! The way I see it, you are BOTH paying the health insurance! Part of having kids is being responsible enough to provide for their needs, which includes health insurance. What does your daycare income pay for? For instance my husband pays all the bills, but I pay all the household expenses. I buy all the groceries, and things we need for the house. I have NEVER ONCE felt like I was tired of paying for HIS groceries! Nor has he ever felt like he was tired of paying for MY car insurance.

I agree, health insurance is horribly expensive, and gets worse by the day. But it will be way cheaper for you through his work policy than if you purchase a policy on your own. Are you paying $500 for a month for 3 of you? If so, that is cheap for health insurance! Most plans now a days are a lot more than that.

If you are checking into purchasing a policy LOOK CAREFULLY a the policies. It may seem cheaper, but the coverage may be drastically lower. Health insurance can be very confusing.

If he thinks insurance is expensive, try going without it. If you or your kids get sick, you need to be able to get it taken care of. You dont want to have to compromise your childrens health because you are afraid to run up a drs bill.
All of this, especially the bolded part. One problem and your entire family could be bankrupted if you don't have adequate insurance.

We have pretty good insurance through hubby's work, but it is expensive, with a $3,500 deductible, then 80/20. Our son has had needed some surgeries in the past couple of years - our insurance has paid over a quarter of a million dollars for treatment, but our portion has been close to $10,000. I can't even imagine where we'd be if we didn't have "good" group insurance .

Heaven forbid you should have anything happen, but if you do, you and your hubby will be thankful that you paid all those expensive premiums.
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Old 08-02-2011, 12:46 PM
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The law states that now insurance companies MUST pay for wellness things, like physicals, pap smears, etc. At least that is what I have been told by the insurance people I have been talking to....and that has been a lot of them.
I'm fighting both the bills as this was my understanding as well. It comes down to the fact that we have a deductible for diagnostics and how Harvard Pilgrim is getting around the law. It's ridiculous!
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Old 08-02-2011, 12:48 PM
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What people don't understand, especially those who have never been in the situation where they did not have health care or who have never had to pay it out of pocket, it is so very expensive. It isn't a matter of "you can't afford to be without it", it is a matter of do I pay my utility bills, buy groceries and put gas in the car. Seriously, my family knows what it is like to lose an income, lose health insurance, try to figure out how we are going to add an additional expense to our budget equal to another housepayment, all the while our income is cut in half. The way health insurance is offered in this country is a disgrace. Guess it pays to live off the system, as these people don't worry about health insurance and use it "freely".
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Old 08-02-2011, 01:05 PM
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Arent those his kids, and aren't you his wife? It's BOTH your responsibilities to pay for that health insurance. And you have a job that doesnt have insurance, but it contributes MONEY to the household bills, .... The way I see it, you are BOTH paying ... Part of having kids is being responsible enough to provide for their needs... What does your daycare income pay for?
Yep, when my DH tried to get smart with me about how "little" I contributed to the household financially and how DC doesn't make us that much money I handed him two pieces of paper. One was quotes for what it would cost me to put 2 kids in DC and how much money I saved us by starting DC and watching my own kids. The other was a bill for half of our kids daycare based on my weekly fees that he didn't incorporate into what I contribute to the household's finances.

In my case you're talking about more than $16,000 a year that we're saving in DC for 2 kids. It really opened his eyes as he had never thought about it in that light.
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Old 08-02-2011, 03:30 PM
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I need health insurance as well and don't know where to look. My family doesn't qualify for medicaid anymore. The income cut off for a family of 5 is $1800/mth (like that's alot of money). My husband only works part time so he doesn't get health insurance.
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Old 08-02-2011, 04:28 PM
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This will boil your blood (if you are progressive like me)....Went to a ECE conference last year. One workshop was titled "Obama's Health Reforms and the Child Care Industry" I'm thinking....oh good, maybe some info about how I may be able to finally afford health care. Nope. It was VERY right-wing slanted, bashing the program, and denigrating universal health care,etc. The 'speaker' went so far as to tell us to get involved and write to our congressmen and vote against Obama. Couldn't take it anymore so....ummmm....I made a scene. A BIG scene. My husband had to drag me out, but I did get a round of applause on my way out! I b****ed a fit to the conference promoter. Several other people walked out as well, grumbling. With the audience being mostly minorities, women (except for my husband :sunny, low-paid and uninsured, it did not go over well.

I don't want free health care. I want affordable health care. I want a deductible that's reasonable, coverage that won't be dropped if I get sick and a company that will treat me fairly. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!?!? In the meantime, I will NOT being paying United Healthcare the $875 a month they quoted me. Instead, I'll just PAY the doctor when someone gets sick and PRAY I don't get a major illness. My BIL has cancer. And a $285000 bill. The stress of the bill is what's killing him. Sad.
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Old 08-02-2011, 04:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia View Post
This will boil your blood (if you are progressive like me)....Went to a ECE conference last year. One workshop was titled "Obama's Health Reforms and the Child Care Industry" I'm thinking....oh good, maybe some info about how I may be able to finally afford health care. Nope. It was VERY right-wing slanted, bashing the program, and denigrating universal health care,etc. The 'speaker' went so far as to tell us to get involved and write to our congressmen and vote against Obama. Couldn't take it anymore so....ummmm....I made a scene. A BIG scene. My husband had to drag me out, but I did get a round of applause on my way out! I b****ed a fit to the conference promoter. Several other people walked out as well, grumbling. With the audience being mostly minorities, women (except for my husband :sunny, low-paid and uninsured, it did not go over well.

I don't want free health care. I want affordable health care. I want a deductible that's reasonable, coverage that won't be dropped if I get sick and a company that will treat me fairly. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!?!? In the meantime, I will NOT being paying United Healthcare the $875 a month they quoted me. Instead, I'll just PAY the doctor when someone gets sick and PRAY I don't get a major illness. My BIL has cancer. And a $285000 bill. The stress of the bill is what's killing him. Sad.
I won't risk being without insurance. I was having chest pains last Oct. 3 wks of testing racked up $60k to find out my heart was fine, I was over stressed. (No fooling, I've been that way for 3 yrs now.) I paid less than $1K.
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Old 08-02-2011, 05:04 PM
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I won't risk being without insurance. I was having chest pains last Oct. 3 wks of testing racked up $60k to find out my heart was fine, I was over stressed. (No fooling, I've been that way for 3 yrs now.) I paid less than $1K.
I hear you Sharlan! I am scared to death someone in my family will get hurt or sick. I worry about not having insurance every SINGLE day. It shouldn't have to be like this.....I see what it has done to my BIL....and I am truly scared.
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Old 08-02-2011, 05:40 PM
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I don't want free health care. I want affordable health care. I want a deductible that's reasonable, coverage that won't be dropped if I get sick and a company that will treat me fairly. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!?!?
You have my vote Sugar...

OP, maybe you should calculate up for him the monthly cost of alimony, child support PLUS being responsible for providing health insurance?

That is what quite a few of my clients had to deal with while whining about being lonely and not meeting any women whom they could tolerate for more than 10 minutes at a time... Dating after 30 is a real lesson is comedy and tragedy...

I do hope you find a way to afford medical coverage that suits...

I just REALLY have a problem with the fact that he is whining about having to provide for his OWN children, IYKWIM???

Sending love... Hopefully it is just a frustration and stress phase of your marriage and you are the only "B**tching post" he has. I do understand that...we all need one. Typically after the immediate situation resolves they apologize and come bearing gifts...
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