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  #1  
Old 05-17-2012, 11:10 AM
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Default Kid Without Personal Space

I have a dck who has no concept of personal space. He is always putting his finger in other people's faces, poking kids, touching their heads-rough/mean, pulling on babies legs/arms, fake shooting them, fake spraying them with water, etc.

I have tried to remind him to keep his hands to himself. Then I tried putting him in time out or giving him his own place to play without anyone else around so that he had no chance to bug others. Now other kids, including my own, are hitting him/swatting his hand away, pushing him away the instant he comes near, because he is always bothering them. Do I let them "show" him what happens when you constantly- for years- get in other peoples personal space and be plain and simple unecessarrily annoying? How do I interviene? I have tried t.o. He resumes this annoying behavior as soon as he is near another child, like lining up, eating, getting things on to go outside.

I personally can't take it anymore. I can only imagine how bad these kids want to show this kid how annoyed they are.
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Old 05-17-2012, 11:38 AM
Willow Willow is offline
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I have the same problem with a set of siblings right now. They are literally crawling all over each other all day long and it drives me bonkers. Drives all the other kids bonkers too because it spills over into how they interact with them as well

I have zero clue how to address it. I cannot wait to read the responses you get here!
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Old 05-17-2012, 11:41 AM
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What age are we referring to here ladies? Just curious as the way to deal with and address it depends alot on the age of the child(ren).
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Old 05-17-2012, 11:43 AM
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It's really hard when they don't have a concept of personal space. I'm not sure it's something that you can teach them.

The only thing that worked for me, was to constantly tell the child "personal space, your hands and feet belong on your body, no one else's". Even the, it took a really long time and I'm not sure I really ever got the point across.
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Old 05-17-2012, 11:44 AM
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The sibling set I referenced the sister is 4, brother is 2.

To call them completely co-dependent on each other is an understatement (even though they also fight like cats and dogs).
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Old 05-17-2012, 11:47 AM
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yeah, my sib group is the same, but there's 4 of them!

I have tried the old "bubble". Have them make a large arm circle around them, and teach them that is their invisible bubble. No one is allowed in your bubble without permission.

It's cute when they say to each other "Hey, you are in my bubble!"

It would have worked, too, until they took it home and dad made fun of it...
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Old 05-17-2012, 01:07 PM
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My dd is almost 4 and she used to run up and get really close to kids at drop off, causing a stir.

I sat her down and told her that they need some space, and I talked to her about what that meant. (Arm's length, etc).

She seems to understand the concept, though I do have to remind her every few months.
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Old 05-17-2012, 01:25 PM
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We talk about our 'bubble' here. We put our hands in front of us and that's where our bubble is. Our bubble = our personal space. If someone gets in our personal space, we (kids and I both) take a step back, put our hand in front of us, and ask the other person to stay out of our bubble, please. Kids as young as 2yrs get it and at 18mos start to understand the concept.
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Old 05-17-2012, 01:28 PM
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My own (bio) almost 3 year old is like this. I have to keep her in her own area away from others if she gets out of control. Otherwise, I will put the kids by me and she has to do another separate activity away from all of us. Basically social shunning. I HATE to do this but she had gone waaaay overboard with the poking, in your face, swatting, etc. and it was starting to get to an aggressive/bullying level. But she does want to be by the other kids so the separation was a big consequence for her and she has done a lot better since I really laid down the law with her. I do not let her touch the babies, period. I will physically stand between her and the babies and tell her "no, my babies. you dont touch" and send her off in the other direction to play.

This only works though if a child cares about being separated. You have to find what motivates your DC kid and use that.
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Old 05-17-2012, 01:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lianne View Post
We talk about our 'bubble' here. We put our hands in front of us and that's where our bubble is. Our bubble = our personal space. If someone gets in our personal space, we (kids and I both) take a step back, put our hand in front of us, and ask the other person to stay out of our bubble, please. Kids as young as 2yrs get it and at 18mos start to understand the concept.
also a great idea! but you really have to step in for kids that don't have the communication skills yet but I love this idea for older kids!
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Old 05-17-2012, 07:55 PM
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The child I was referring to is 4. He knows better. He is doing this intentionally. I watch like a hawk but with the other kids I can not spend every min of effort on a child who is old enough to start to regulate his own self and behavior.

Mom says since she spanks at home I should call her and she will drive over to spank him. Obv not! Im going to have to be direct and say thats not going to work.
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Old 05-18-2012, 04:47 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lianne View Post
We talk about our 'bubble' here. We put our hands in front of us and that's where our bubble is. Our bubble = our personal space. If someone gets in our personal space, we (kids and I both) take a step back, put our hand in front of us, and ask the other person to stay out of our bubble, please. Kids as young as 2yrs get it and at 18mos start to understand the concept.
Tried this, worked for the others not this kid. Has no boundaries at home so its clear why personal boundaries lack.
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