Things Kids Say....

[Meeko]

Forgive me if I have told you these before. I'm menopausal, tired and it's Friday...

I love the kids around age 3. So vocal and they come out with some funnies. Would love to hear yours!

DCG(3), while climbing up onto my lap: "You're just like my Mommy"
Me: (feeling all warm and fuzzy) "Why thank you sweetheart!"
DCG: Yep...you don't have a penis either"
Me:


Me (Monday morning circle time): So! What happened this past weekend?"
DCB1: "My dad gots a new car"
DCG: "My dad gots a new car too! (we get lots of this...!)
DCB2: "My dad gots his ankle monitor off!"

This job is never boring!

[williams2008]

thanks for the laugh!!!

[Lyss]

Originally Posted by Meeko

Forgive me if I have told you these before. I'm menopausal, tired and it's Friday...

I love the kids around age 3. So vocal and they come out with some funnies. Would love to hear yours!

DCG(3), while climbing up onto my lap: "You're just like my Mommy"
Me: (feeling all warm and fuzzy) "Why thank you sweetheart!"
DCG: Yep...you don't have a penis either"
Me:


Me (Monday morning circle time): So! What happened this past weekend?"
DCB1: "My dad gots a new car"
DCG: "My dad gots a new car too! (we get lots of this...!)
DCB2: "My dad gots his ankle monitor off!"

This job is never boring!

I've got some to share just no time to type them! I'll be back at nap time

[CedarCreek]

Haha, that is hilarious!

I have one that loooves to tell tall tales. His most recent one involved him going to the beach and eating sand...and his brothers head.

[Starburst]

Lol once on graduation day at my old FCC job I was watching one of the graduates because her mom was running late and the other teachers were getting into their theme costumes. I think she had just turned 4 but they were moving and her older sister graduated from FCC and there was only one other graduate so the provider let her 'graduate' but she was still going to preschool for another year. Anyway we were in the daycare room and she was drawing and we were talking about boo-boos but a slip of the tongue and she asked me "Do you like having boobies?"

And there was another time where one of the DCGs (about 3 at the time with an infant sister who was nursing) was getting dressed out of her PJs into her day clothes for preschool and she was saying that she had boobs and then shouted "My mommy has big boobs!"

[Crazy In Mo]

My 3 year old son was in the bathroom with me the other day. I'm always very careful and try to cover when he's in there with me. Obviously he seen something or my lack of something he says "ummm Mom, do you have a peepee? I said "yes I do, it's just different than yours" he says "I think you pee out your butt"

They say some funny stuff!!

[Starburst]

Originally Posted by Crazy In Mo

My 3 year old son was in the bathroom with me the other day. I'm always very careful and try to cover when he's in there with me. Obviously he seen something or my lack of something he says "ummm Mom, do you have a peepee? I said "yes I do, it's just different than yours" he says "I think you pee out your butt"

They say some funny stuff!!

My aunt said that one time when one of my cousins was 3 she took him to the bathroom with her and he said she had a "butt pee-pee". After that she didn't take him to the bathroom with her anymore.

[Meeko]

My Holly (now 18) has always been very outgoing. When she was about 3, I took her to the doctor and they suspected a urinary tract infection. Doc asked if I would take her to the bathroom and try to get a sample.

The bathrooms are right off the waiting room.

She thought going in a cup was the funniest thing EVER and giggled loudly the whole time we were in the bathroom. I was wondering if the folks in the waiting room were curious as to why there was hysterical laughter in the rest room.

When finished, we put the sample in the little turnaround thing they have and it magically disappeared to the lab.

As I opened the door, my darling daughter, runs out and announces to the whole waiting room full of people.... in a very loud and happy voice...

"I PEE'D IN A CUP. YOU SHOULD DO IT! ITS FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I think she was disappointed they didn't all rush for the bathroom.

[rmc20021]

I once worked in a center many, many years ago in Texas. During nap dcd brings in a little 3 yo girl I'd never met before. They had put me into a teaching position within one week of being hired so I was in charge...but this was the first day this little girl had attended since I'd started.

So I sat her down and was coloring with her and talking to her...asking all sorts of questions. I noticed at one point she was saying yes to EVERYTHING i asked so decided to ask her some strange random questions...to which she always answered yes.

It was then that I realized she didn't know ANY English...except the word potty and I had been basically talking to myself the entire time.

[MyNana23]

Quite a few years ago I had a little one with me when I was out shopping...I had to go to the washroom so took her in with me (she was probably about 3)...when I was pulling up my jeans , she noticed that I had black undies on...in a loud voice she said, "Karen! Why do you have black underwear?? Are you going on a date??!!"

The 3 or 4 other women in the bathroom stalls all burst out laughing and I skulked out of there as quickly as possible...LOL! And , no, I wasn't going out on a date...I somehow doubt if my dh would have appreciated me doing that ..without him anyway...LOL!

One other time I had a little guy who was about 4 and for some reason the other kids and I were talking about favorite singers and songs...I jokingly said that Vince Gill was my favorite..and if I could, I'd marry him...LOL! The little guy's eyes got very big and he said, "But you are ALREADY married!" I pretended to be confused and said, "I am? To whom?" He said, "You know...that OLD, OLD guy that lives at your house.." I laughed so hard I might have wet myself ..LOL! At that time my dh was probably about 45 years old so not too old but to a 4 year old, apparently ANCIENT!

At my brother's first wedding, our youngest sister was about 5 years old and some mention was made of there being a "toast"...well, they did do a toast and everyone raised their glasses...my Mom noticed that my sister hadn't raised hers or drank her juice so she said, "It's ok to drink your juice now, Tracey.." My sister's eyes welled up with tears and said, "But Mommy...they never brought any toast yet... " LOL!

Kids are the funniest sometimes!

[butterfly]

When my DS was 2 years old and newly potty trained. I walked into the bathroom to find him with his pants around his ankles, holding his penis in one hand, strumming it like a guitar with his other hand. I asked him "what are you doing?" His reply "putting butter on it".

[Evansmom]

This happened yesterday:

DCG (2.5 yrs) to DS: are you eatin' peanut butter?
DS: no I'm allergic to peanuts
DCG: oh! My daddy has a penis! And a butt!!!

She thought he said penis when he said peanuts

[SquirrellyMama]

Originally Posted by Meeko

DCB2: "My dad gots his ankle monitor off!"

This job is never boring!

That is hilarious!

My dd11 once told me (when she was 2) that her brother looked like neighbor boy's daddy He really looked similar to the neighbor boy. They both had bleach blonde hair and blue eyes. The boy's dad has dark brown hair and brown eyes.

[SquirrellyMama]

Originally Posted by Evansmom

This happened yesterday:

DCG (2.5 yrs) to DS: are you eatin' peanut butter?
DS: no I'm allergic to peanuts
DCG: oh! My daddy has a penis! And a butt!!!

She thought he said penis when he said peanuts

Oh, that is funny

[Luna]

My Dcb3 told me his mom won't clean his dad's bathroom so daddy scrapes the poop off the walls of his potty. Dad would faint if he knew the info junior shares!

[bunnyslippers]

Years ago, when I was MUCH thinner...pre-baby years...

I was working in an integrated preschool, and had just bent over to pick something up. I unknowingly exposed the top straps of my super-sexy g-string underpants (I know, bad bad bad style mistake - oops).

Later, a little girl in my class whispered "Miss....I think you may need to get some new underpants. The pretty pink ones you have on look like they are a little too small. I think I saw some of your bum-bum cheekies."

Horrified, but still one of my favorite stories!!!

[Meeko]

They write funny things too........

My sister in law is a teacher. She was teaching her class about elasticity and they stretched a pair of pantyhose across the room to see how far they would stretch.

In the UK, pantyhose are called tights.

One child wrote in his school journal "Today we stretched Mrs. Jenkins tights across the room"

Unfortunately he spelled "tights" as ....... "tits"

[coolconfidentme]

ME: Shut the door when you go to the bathroom, I don't want to watch you.
DCB: If I was bigger like mommy's boyfriend would you? She likes it.

[jenn]

I used to teach kindergarten. We had a big graduation ceremony at the end of the year with all 3 classes. We were getting ready to start and the auditorium was full (about 90 kids, plus their families and all the school staff). One of my boys was running late. His dad and dad's girlfriend followed behind as he ran through the doors yelling "Sorry I'm late, but my dad's girlfriend couldn't find all of her clothes." They were mortified.

[Lyss]

DCG(3) on the way out the door with preggo DCM: "Mom is your butt pregnant too? Its big"

DCG(4): "My mom got a new job"
Me: "Wow I bet that's exciting for her!"
DCG: "DCD says its about time she tried something because Facebook isn't a job" (DCPs are divorced)
Me: "..."
DCG: "she talk to people on the phone and helps them clean their house but it might be hard I think because daddy says she's trashy"

Same DCG ^
I missed how this started just caught the tail end...
DCG: "DCD's GF is just his friend "
DCB(3): "Oh, she just has playdates with your dad?"
DCG: "well she gets to live with us but mommy says it won't be for long because daddy doesn't have the attention span for a 'lationship"

neighborhood kid: "Hi, I'm Johnny! I live over there with my mom"
Me: "That's nice, I bet you have lots of fun living there"
neighborhood kid: "yeah, but my dad's a deadbeat so he lives in jail. Can I go play in your back yard?"

[SilverSabre25]

Kids are awesome. My 4y11mo dcb was saying the other day that ducks turn into bones, which turn into mashed potatoes. okay dcb, you just go ahead and um, think that.


this one has me going

Originally Posted by coolconfidentme

ME: Shut the door when you go to the bathroom, I don't want to watch you.
DCB: If I was bigger like mommy's boyfriend would you? She likes it.

[Patches]

My first day interning in a kindergaten class...
Lining up to go outside. Little boy noticed that his shoe was untied and bent over to tie it. The little boy behind him decided to kick him right between the legs. The first little boy stood straight up, turned around and yelled, "Miss ____! He just kicked me in the testicles!"

[TheGoodLife]

Originally Posted by Meeko

They write funny things too........

My sister in law is a teacher. She was teaching her class about elasticity and they stretched a pair of pantyhose across the room to see how far they would stretch.

In the UK, pantyhose are called tights.

One child wrote in his school journal "Today we stretched Mrs. Jenkins tights across the room"

Unfortunately he spelled "tights" as ....... "tits"

Oh, I can't stop laughing at this (As a teacher, I saw SO many funny spellings, but it's too late for me to even try to remember them now!)

[AmyLeigh]

I am loving this thread!

This happened today:

Me: DCG, be mindful of your cup, you don't want to spill your milk. (She kept turning around in her chair and nearly knocked it off a couple of times)
DD(age 4 going on 11): Actually, it's water.
Me: Actually, it's milk. I know, I filled it for her.
DD: Oh. Awwwkwaaard.

I think she's been watching too many tween Disney shows with her big sis!

This is my all time favorite from last summer (I think I posted it):

DCB age 5, gets on the swing, turns to look at the swing and then says, "Does this make my butt look big?"

[e.j.]

Originally Posted by Meeko

They write funny things too........

My sister in law is a teacher. She was teaching her class about elasticity and they stretched a pair of pantyhose across the room to see how far they would stretch.

In the UK, pantyhose are called tights.

One child wrote in his school journal "Today we stretched Mrs. Jenkins tights across the room"

Unfortunately he spelled "tights" as ....... "tits"

I read this 5 minutes ago and I'm still laughing!

When my niece was little, she was enrolled in my day care. She and my dd are only a month apart in age and usually got along great together. Once in awhile, one would get under the other's skin, though, and one day, they started fighting over a toy they both wanted. I was busy feeding one of my infants so I was trying to talk to the girls but they were so busy arguing, they weren't listening to me. One thing led to another and the next thing I knew, my dd stood next to me saying, "Mom, J is acting like an idiot!!" I started to reprimand my dd for calling her cousin an idiot but before I could get two words out of my mouth, my niece responded with, "But Auntie! I'm not acting!!" I tried so hard not to laugh but... 15 years later and it still makes me laugh.