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#1
10-01-2013, 03:34 PM
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Kids Say The Darndest Things
I'll bet we could all write a book. I really need to keep pen and paper handy so I can write all these golden sparks of wisdom and chuckles down.
I was on my hands and knees cleaning under the table at snack time this afternoon and my 3 1/2 yo dcg says "Hey, Cinderella does that!" Long time ago when I was about 100 months pregnant(it felt like it!) I was talking to a 4 yo dcb who was crawling thru the holes in the LT cube climber. I told him I was going to chase him and he said 'you can't fit' I asked him what he meant(thinking of course he was talking about my big belly) but no, he said because my hair was too long.  Other morning at breakfast, 2 1/2 yo dcg had polished off everything, sat back, and said "I sure love me a good lunch!' Kids can be pretty darn cute. Sometimes.
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#2
10-01-2013, 03:40 PM
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Lol...I had a 4 yr old dcg ask why I always keep the senior cats I have here in their own bedroom during daycare. I explained they are very old and therefore don't like to play anymore. She thought about it and said "Well...tomorrow...when they are younger...can they come out to play?"
 The same girl pushed a toddler and as I was putting dcg in time out she whined: "But it wasn't me that pushed her...it was the other me that looked just like me." 
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#5
10-01-2013, 05:47 PM
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These are hilarious! Love it!
 Ok, I have one from my son. He was about 4 and he comes into the kitchen, he is now 10, and he says, "Mom, I want to marry you." I said, "Well that sure is sweet but I'm already spoken for." He says, "what do you mean?" I said, "daddy and I are married". He got really quiet and a sad look on his face and he says, "no, you are mine, Daddy can't have you." I said, "sorry honey but for now I can read you a book just you and me." He got a smile on his face said "ok" and off we went. That one went into the journal.
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#6
10-01-2013, 06:23 PM
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Some of my faves:
Me: "Let's go put some Aquaphor on your face...it's getting chapped." DCG, 4, (as I apply the Aquaphor): "Is this Aqua One or Aqua Three?" DCB, 4 (telling how he prays) "The Father, the Son, & the Holy Spirit. He-men."
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#7
10-01-2013, 08:58 PM
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I put a 3 year ols dcb in time out for cussing and as I am walking away i turn back and find he is watching me I then tell him he needs to face the wall. He looked at my and said I can't stand in time out I will get boogers on your wall. I started laughing so my witty husband said its ok you can just clean it when you are done. Dcb says oh ok... still makes me laugh just thinking about his excuse for not needing time out.
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#8
10-02-2013, 02:08 AM
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I had a little girl that was always bossing the little ones around. She wasn't mean and they didn't care but one day one of the littles didn't want to do what she said. I said, "Kylie you know you're not the boss here, I am." She said "I'm not?"
Another one was my son when he was little. My husband said he had to run up to the store so my son went with him. When they got to the car my son asked why they were getting in the car. He thought they were going to actually 'run' to the store. Laurel
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#9
10-02-2013, 05:44 AM
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Once when my now big teenage son was about 4yo, he was praying before dinner and said, "Dear God, thank you for our food and thank you for Mommy who hardly worked to make it."
Good chance to explain the difference between "working hard" and "hardly working."
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#10
10-02-2013, 07:14 AM
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These are all so cute! What a great laugh! Here are my 2 all time faves:
4yo DCB: Daddy took a nap yesterday with *gf name* on the couch. They sure do wiggle a lot when they take a nap. 3yo DCG: We all have to take a nap at home, but sometimes Mommy and Daddy are noisy. If these parents only knew the information their kids were sharing!
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#14
10-02-2013, 01:13 PM
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When talking about what we did over the weekend during circle time.....
DCG: My dad got a new car this weekend DCB: My dad took me fishing this weekend DCG: My dad bought me a new toy this weekend DCB: (said with great pride)My dad got his ankle monitor off this weekend!!
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#16
10-02-2013, 01:16 PM
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Quote:
DCB: Good job Rea you pooped big! I miss going to the bathroom alone!
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#18
10-02-2013, 01:17 PM
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#21
10-02-2013, 09:32 PM
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This is the thank you letter that my ds gave to his kindergarten teacher at the end of last year. I'm sure she had a good laugh...
DSC04994.jpg
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#22
10-03-2013, 07:39 AM
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Quote:
That IS funny!!! Definitely one to save!
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#23
10-03-2013, 07:47 AM
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A while back, I was napping with my son. (Was not providing care for other children at the time) He didn't wake me up when he woke up which has never happened before. The house was on lockdown, of course. I wake up to him yelling for me to come help him. I walk in the bathroom to find him with poop on just about every part of his body. I just stick him in the tub and start rinsing him off with the handheld shower. I look around and find poop on the toilet, floor, stool, wall, door, pretty much half of the bathroom. Later, Daddy asked him if what he was doing, did he try to wipe all by himself. He said, "No, I wasn't wiping, I was trying to fight the toilet." Yep, my 2.5 year old son, the toilet fighter.
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#24
10-03-2013, 12:16 PM
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When my son was about 3 or 4, I was watching him play in the sprinkler. After a little while, he told me I should put on a bathing suit and join him. I laughed and told him, "If I did that, the neighbors would harpoon me!" After explaining my joke to him, he said, "Oh mom, you're not a whale!......Well......maybe a baby whale..... just starting to develop!"
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#25
10-04-2013, 06:48 AM
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My sister-in-law will never forget one science experiment she did with her elementary school class.
They had learned about elasticity and had stretched a pair of pantihose (always called tights in the UK) as far as they could. The next day a child wrote in their daily school journal that the class had stretched the teacher's "tits" across the room.... 
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#26
10-04-2013, 07:43 AM
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My DD1 (will be 4 in November) put on her shorts yesterday, pointed to the zipper area in the front- it was bulging out a bit from where the seam is- and said "just like daddy"
We had a VERY interesting conversation that morning 
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#27
10-04-2013, 08:36 AM
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My favorite from last week: We were talking about the differences in every ones hair and 3 yo dcg says "When my hair gets long like Rapunzel I can dance with Flynn Rider!!" Uh-oh!!
Had to tell her mother that one, her response "oh no! Already?!?!"
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#28
10-04-2013, 08:38 AM
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Quote:
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#29
10-04-2013, 09:44 AM
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When my youngest was 8 we went to the mall to do some back-to-school shopping. At that time there was a Hooter's restaurant in the mall. As we passed by their signature advertisement sign, he says, "Can we go to that "owl store" next?"
Oy! How to explain Hooter's to an 8-year-old?
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#30
10-04-2013, 09:58 AM
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Quote:
OMG I just spit out my coffee when I read this! HILARIOUS!
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#31
10-04-2013, 10:09 AM
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My 3 and 4 year olds help put the flag out every day and say the pledge of allegiance.
"And to the Publix (Publix is a local supermarket) for which it stands... " one nation, under god, INVISIBLE, with liberty and justice for all"
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#32
10-04-2013, 10:30 AM
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I am cracking up at all these!
When my dd was 5 or so, we went to the mall and were in the bra section. All of a sudden really loudly she said "look mommy, boobies" as she was pointing to all of the bras!
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#33
10-05-2013, 07:39 PM
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One time on graduation day, while the owner of the daycare and her daughter were getting ready for the graduation and one of the graduates mom was on her way so we were talking and we were talking about boo boos (scratches, bruises, etc.) and then she just randomly asked me "Do you like having boobies?"
I kinda stopped for a minute and then she kinda thought about what she said and said "I meant boo-boos!"At the co-op I do my student teaching at since most of the volunteers there are parents everyone assumes that I am one of the moms. So one of the boys asked me which child was mine and I told him "None of them are mine, I am a student teacher" and then he said "So you live with the teacher?" I told him "No I live with my family" and then was asking me where I live and then about driving (I don't have a license or a car) then he said "When I'm this old (holding up all his hands), my dad's going to teach me how to drive and I can drive you to your house"  Then there are sometimes when they are just really sweet (not really saying, more of doing) . When I was doing yard duty at the co-op, I was pushing a little boy (about 3 or 4) on the swings; they have 4 swings and all were full. He saw another boy (almost 5) walking over to sit on the bench for a turn on the swings and he pointed at him and said. "Why is sitting over there?" and I said "He's waiting for a turn on the swing" I didn't prompt him or anything but he immediately asked me to stop the swing and got off so the boy on the bench could have a turn (coincidently, it was also the 5 y/o's favorite swing spot on the swing set).
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#34
10-08-2013, 01:36 PM
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We had walking tacos today for lunch. DCG got some on her hand so I handed her a napkin. She took it but instead of using it, wiped her hand on my pants. I asked her why she did that. Her response "the napkin was clean and pretty but your pants are already dirty!" LOL! They really were dirty too! I dropped the spoon of sour cream on my leg a few minutes before!
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| funny, kids say the strangest things |
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