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Old 01-08-2014, 11:47 AM
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Default 2 Weeks Notice Due to Increase

I just need to take a moment to vent and maybe hear what you guys think about this situation or what I could do differently in the future.

I currently have 6 children in care, out of the seven children two are originals that started with the daycare when I first opened. Over the past two months I have lost 3 children and it has been hard financially trying to keep my staff employed. I have one parent that is a single parent that came in on a special rate. When it was time to increase her rate, she cried and said it was too much. That was two years ago. Six months ago I came and told her again that I was going to have to go up on the rate to the normal rate and she cried again. I then gave in and allowed it to happen.

This January I gave her a rate change notice telling her that her rate would be the normal rate so that I can continue to pay staff and update the children’s playroom. I explained to her that it was the same rate all other parents pay for her child’s age. She became angry and gave me a two week notice saying that she just cant pay it. Yet, she always comes in with new clothes and new shoes and purses. Her daughter is also in the expensive brand name clothing and new shoes at least twice a month. I got tired of offering her a discount when I know other parents hurt financially. Its just not fair to my other parents to sit back and watch this. I guess my timing was wrong because now I am down to 5 regular paying students and I have to let my staff go because I cant afford to pay her now. To make matters worse, recruiting hasn’t yielded any new clients in the past month and I need at least 8 children for the daycare to run smoothly and be able to pay all of my expenses.

What has me really heated is that the child who has been with me for two years told me that her mom said that I was money hungry and that she was tired of me asking for money. In my opinion, some people just want something for nothing and I know that she was getting an exceptional rate for the quality of care that she received. I don’t charge for food or curriculum nor a supply fee, I offer a preschool curriculum for free and teach the kids spanish and yoga.

Needless to say, she doesn’t understand at all what its like to be in my shoes dealing with clients that feel like the world owes them “the hook up”. I don’t feel like I was wrong for giving her the notice and asking her for what I am worth. I also think that its her loss because I know that daycares around here charge at least $80 to $100 dollars more than what I charge. I may have been wrong for allowing it to go on for so long to the point where now it hurts the business. I also shouldn’t have made judgement on the clothes she wears to say she could afford it. I am aware that she has a choice but I feel it hurts to lose a child that has been with you for two years. Ive been crying for the past two days because I love this kiddo so much.
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Old 01-08-2014, 11:52 AM
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You are not in the wrong. Don't take it so personally, you need to take care of your business first and foremost. It's hard to survive in this Age of Entitlement, but you will.

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Old 01-08-2014, 11:57 AM
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You did the right thing. Just because someone is a single parent does not mean that they get freebies. You gave her a reduced rate for years! I challenge you to total up all the discount you gave her. You gave TOO MUCH. If mom wants to throw a tantrum and storm out, there is no reason to give even more of your energy by crying about this for days. I understand you are attached to this child but this is not your child. I really feel that having a close relationship is wonderful but at a certain point, you have to remain a bit more professional with your families. You have to understand that kids will come and go and yes, we take care of them and care about them, but in the long run, these are not our kids. It is a business. It is an income. Stop crying, dust yourself off, and put all this energy into finding replacements. Advertise everywhere, call every person you can and let them know you have openings, offer your current parents a small reward or discount for referring families, hold an open house or event to draw attention. Good luck to you! Life goes on and it is best that you keep moving with it.
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Old 01-08-2014, 11:58 AM
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Sorry.

The truth is she is deploying another tactic, that is all. Nothing has really changed in your relationship.

She cried the last two times and it worked. Crying did not work this time so she is testing you by saying she is leaving. She is expecting you to give in and ask her to stay.

If you do, next year she will do it again until it does not work, either... then she may up the ante to saying she was unhappy with care...

It happens often.

Stay strong. No more exceptions for anyone.

Click on the "single mom excuse" tag for motivation.
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Old 01-08-2014, 01:06 PM
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Parents don't think of discounts as getting a deal. The price is the price. It doesn't matter to them what mental gymnastics you put yourself through to come up with the rate. They often believe the rate that you believe is a great deal is ridiculous and expensive.

We need to STOP petting the single mom pity mindset. What difference is the care of the kid if the parents are together or not? It doesn't have anything to do with child care services. You don't see Walmart or McDonald's giving discounts on their products or services because the customer is a single parent. When I bought my Costco membership I wasn't asked if I was a single parent. I would rather give a discount to a veteran than a single parent. They did something that enriches my life by serving our country. A single parent doesn't deserve special because they are raising their kid. They aren't doing anything extraordinary. Nearly half the kids under five are being raised by single parents... and the statistic are even hire in some ethnic groups. It's just regular life here in the US.
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Old 01-08-2014, 01:53 PM
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Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
Nearly half the kids under five are being raised by single parents... and the statistic are even hire in some ethnic groups. It's just regular life here in the US.
***** To add to this a young college/career counselor (25ish) recently told my husband and I that if we divorced before our oldest applied for FAFSA this year we would be eligible for financial aide since it would only be based on my income that way (2nd marriage). She went on to explain that if we stay married we can only hope for loans or academic scholarships since they factor in household incomes...

This is being given out as "legitimate" financial ADVICE now. By people with degrees... employed by our school system. I was not even complaining about the cost as I factored it in when I stopped birth control, this was her usual spiel

Single Moms are not what they once were.... don't fall for it.
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Old 01-08-2014, 02:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cat Herder View Post

Single Moms are not what they once were.... don't fall for it.
My husband and I are going to try to have another baby. We have insurance, but our co-pay is outrageous!

I often joke that we should get pregnant, get a divorce, have the baby and then get remarried a while down the road. That way it would be cheaper.

We would never do that, but in so many words, like you said-Single moms are not what they once were! I know some do struggle and some actually lose a SO/BF while pregnant, but others,well, you know.
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Old 01-08-2014, 02:19 PM
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Originally Posted by melilley View Post
My husband and I are going to try to have another baby. We have insurance, but our co-pay is outrageous!

I often joke that we should get pregnant, get a divorce, have the baby and then get remarried a while down the road. That way it would be cheaper.

We would never do that, but in so many words, like you said-Single moms are not what they once were! I know some do struggle and some actually lose a SO/BF while pregnant, but others,well, you know.
I hear you...

The way it was presented is that it is fair game since it (FAFSA) is a federal program and that the Govt is out to take advantage of the middle class. Even the playing field. 99%er stuff...

Times have become really weird down here in the southeast.. All federal programs have become targets to people who normally would not think this way (well, IMLE, anyway)
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Old 01-08-2014, 02:31 PM
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I agree that she is employing a tactic and thinking you will change your mind rather than risk losing them. Don't do it. When she calls around to find new care she'll realize the good deal she has been getting and find out she won't be getting a sweet deal anywhere else either (assuming your rates are pretty in line with others in your area.)
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Old 01-08-2014, 02:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cat Herder View Post
***** To add to this a young college/career counselor (25ish) recently told my husband and I that if we divorced before our oldest applied for FAFSA this year we would be eligible for financial aide since it would only be based on my income that way (2nd marriage). She went on to explain that if we stay married we can only hope for loans or academic scholarships since they factor in household incomes...

This is being given out as "legitimate" financial ADVICE now. By people with degrees... employed by our school system. I was not even complaining about the cost as I factored it in when I stopped birth control, this was her usual spiel

Single Moms are not what they once were.... don't fall for it.
My DD's school counselor (college) told her she should consider having a baby.

She outright listed the "benefits" my 25 yr old, single, NON-parent daughter would receive if she went that route.

Both my kids are single with no kids in the 21-25 yr old age group. They don't qualify for many aide programs so instead work two jobs, pay a ton in taxes, get very little (if anything ) back and struggle to make ends meet on a regular basis.
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Old 01-08-2014, 02:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mysonsmom1 View Post

her mom said that I was money hungry and that she was tired of me asking for money.
Personally, that would have been the last day I provided care for that child.

Don't feel bad about losing the familly-they have manipulated you and used you. Has MOM not had a raise in recent years? You already gave a discount, rather than being grateful for having it as long as she has, she retaliated with pulling her child. I would not help her out for another day-I would have the child's things ready at pickup and I would absolutely tell Mom that "I heard that you're tired of me asking for money and being so money hungry. I don't need the money for the rest of your notice period. You don't have to pay me for any more care after today/here's your refund, I will no longer be accepting your child into care from this moment on." That's how **I** would do it, because I can be a little spiteful now and then, but what she said about you was uncalled for and you don't deserve it for simply asking to be paid for doing your job.

Last edited by Blackcat31; 01-08-2014 at 02:52 PM.
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Old 01-08-2014, 02:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
Parents don't think of discounts as getting a deal. The price is the price. It doesn't matter to them what mental gymnastics you put yourself through to come up with the rate. They often believe the rate that you believe is a great deal is ridiculous and expensive.

We need to STOP petting the single mom pity mindset. What difference is the care of the kid if the parents are together or not? It doesn't have anything to do with child care services. You don't see Walmart or McDonald's giving discounts on their products or services because the customer is a single parent. When I bought my Costco membership I wasn't asked if I was a single parent. I would rather give a discount to a veteran than a single parent. They did something that enriches my life by serving our country. A single parent doesn't deserve special because they are raising their kid. They aren't doing anything extraordinary. Nearly half the kids under five are being raised by single parents... and the statistic are even hire in some ethnic groups. It's just regular life here in the US.
I have to agree. I am so tired of the "single mom" bs.
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Old 01-08-2014, 02:53 PM
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Originally Posted by sharlan View Post
I have to agree. I am so tired of the "single mom" bs.
I'm a single mom too.

I am married but my kids only have one mom so I guess that technically makes me a "single mom"

Wonder if we said it like that if parents would "get it"?!?
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Old 01-08-2014, 02:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cat Herder View Post
***** To add to this a young college/career counselor (25ish) recently told my husband and I that if we divorced before our oldest applied for FAFSA this year we would be eligible for financial aide since it would only be based on my income that way (2nd marriage). She went on to explain that if we stay married we can only hope for loans or academic scholarships since they factor in household incomes...

This is being given out as "legitimate" financial ADVICE now. By people with degrees... employed by our school system. I was not even complaining about the cost as I factored it in when I stopped birth control, this was her usual spiel

Single Moms are not what they once were.... don't fall for it.
I am in school right now. You would not believe the mess I have been going thru. It is 100% true that I would be better off financially if I divorced my husband. I could get WIC, food stamps, medical insurance, daycare subsidy, and college grants plus child support and housing subsidy. I could live on this without having any job (including daycare). I could "easily" divorce my husband, not work at all besides taking care of my kids and get 50 to 80% of my bills paid from day one. It is crazy. I cried when I had to face all this. There is very very little to no support for married moms trying to better themselves. I have four kids, a more than full time job, full time college courseload and we are living paycheck to paycheck because I am fighting against all this to stay married! This is a crazy crazy world.
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Old 01-08-2014, 03:39 PM
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Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady View Post
I agree that she is employing a tactic and thinking you will change your mind rather than risk losing them. Don't do it. When she calls around to find new care she'll realize the good deal she has been getting and find out she won't be getting a sweet deal anywhere else either (assuming your rates are pretty in line with others in your area.)
I'm competitive compared to other licensed providers in the area. I am also aware that I have a competitive curriculum and activities and a lot of home providers don't do the daily reports to keep communicating with parents open. I think that she acted emotionally and threaten to let a family member watch her until she can find someone else. I wish her the best, but won't accept her back in care because of bad mouthing me in front of a 3 year old.

I'm taking the advise of another responder and marketing to fill the position. It won't take long.
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Old 01-08-2014, 04:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by melilley View Post
My husband and I are going to try to have another baby. We have insurance, but our co-pay is outrageous!

I often joke that we should get pregnant, get a divorce, have the baby and then get remarried a while down the road. That way it would be cheaper.

We would never do that, but in so many words, like you said-Single moms are not what they once were! I know some do struggle and some actually lose a SO/BF while pregnant, but others,well, you know.
My husband had a friend in school that we ran into last year and went out to lunch. During the short time together she told us how she was working the system. The dad of her 2 children secretly living in the house and not getting married so that the government would pay her rent. She complained because her rent was raised from $1.50 to $5! Pay for a nursing degree with help of student loans, free daycare, free health insurance and food stamps. Working under the table jobs. People like that ruin it for everyone who really needs it.

We have health insurance but our co pay is also really high and the benefits are not good. It would have been nice to get some help but working families don't

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I'm a single mom too.

I am married but my kids only have one mom so I guess that technically makes me a "single mom"

Wonder if we said it like that if parents would "get it"?!?
love that way of thinking!!!
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Old 01-11-2014, 11:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
My DD's school counselor (college) told her she should consider having a baby.

She outright listed the "benefits" my 25 yr old, single, NON-parent daughter would receive if she went that route.

Both my kids are single with no kids in the 21-25 yr old age group. They don't qualify for many aide programs so instead work two jobs, pay a ton in taxes, get very little (if anything ) back and struggle to make ends meet on a regular basis.
On this topic, i am 23 engaged going to night school for early childhood education. I was working 3 retail jobs at the beginning of the year to pay for school.


Both of my parents are teachers the only way i would ever get help for school is have a baby, get married right away, or get my own medical insurance. My parents have to claim me as a dependent to keep me on the insurance and unless i do these things i get to pay for it all on my own.

I have resisted the "benefits" of a speedy marriage because of the health insurance issue. It's just not worth it to me because my parents have great insurance.
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