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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Letter to Courts About Past DCM
TwinKristi 12:15 PM 01-09-2014
I used to watch some of my friend's kids when I was license-exempt and about a year ago we had a falling out and haven't talked since. She was having a tough time in life, grew up in a very abusive home and both parents are just beyond dysfunctional. Because she was my good friend (for almost 20yrs) I looked past these faults and did my best to help her when I could. Well I was contacted by a friend of hers saying he was worried because her ex contacted him saying she basically dropped 2 of their kids off him with and was extremely intoxicated at the time. Hasn't heard from her since. They went to file for emergency custody of the kids and they asked that I write down some of the situations I saw or knew of. I'm wondering if, because I was her DCP, if I should use a specific format stating my relationship to her and such? Anyone have experience here?
melilley 12:21 PM 01-09-2014
Personally I wouldn't do anything without a subpoena. Or just tell them you can only say you did provide care from X date to X date, but that's all.
TwinKristi 12:25 PM 01-09-2014
Well... I wish I could do that... But I think the kids should be with their dad and have probably endured a lot of neglect and abuse in the last year. I didn't have proof so I never reported her. If not writing a letter could end up with her getting the kids back that would be pretty sad. They've just been through so much.
butterfly 12:31 PM 01-09-2014
I would have concerns about confidentiality. I wouldn't get involved in this either without a court order. As a provider, I feel we have a responsibility to report suspected abuse. If you didn't report it then, I don't see it fit to report it now when they haven't been with you for some time. I view it similar to a daycare parent filing a complaint on us after the fact. Just seems resentful to me.
Blackcat31 12:32 PM 01-09-2014
Friend or not, I would stay out of it unless the courts subpoena you.

I know you think the kids belong with their dad but honestly that isn't your decision to make.

The courts will decide and if they do decide anything you have to say is relevant, I am sure they will request that of you.

Also, if anything you have to say or add to the situation should come up, the first thing I'd have my attorney ask you (if I was on the other side) was if you felt it was important, why didn't you report it then?

If it was only something you had a feeling about or an opinion about, it was either serious enough to report it or it wasn't. I don't think you can come back later on now and say "oh, yeah..... I know this info but didn't share it but use it now"....kwim?

If I were in your shoes, I would advise the parent seeking custody to have their attorney call you if the attorney feels your info is important.
TwinKristi 12:48 PM 01-09-2014
It's not so much that I didn't report it because I did report neglect with her children and CPS was already involved. I have a copy of my form I faxed in. I also called the police who didn't care that she's left her children for 2 days. So I'm not worried about that because there were reports filed and calls made. The kids sadly have been brainwashed to know not to tell anyone about what happens when they're with her and if anyone comes to "talk" to them to lie.

Eta- I don't think they have an atty at this point but are filing through family law as they've already been going through them for custody issues for the last 4yrs.
JenNJ 01:44 PM 01-09-2014
Stay out of it. If they press the issue say you need it requested from the court. I would speak with an atty before commenting at all.
Heidi 02:59 PM 01-09-2014
If you need to write anything, you can only right facts, not opinions. Personally, I would call your own attorney and ask for sure.


To whom it may concern:

The children attended your daycare from xx to xx date
You reported concerns about neglect to CPS on this date____________
Care was terminated by (the parent or by you) on this date__________

If you have any further questions, I would be happy to answer them with through proper legal means. Due to confidentiality rules I am not able give further information without a court order.



something like that, maybe?

You're sort of telling them that you'd LIKE to say more, but can't without being forced, please force me... lol
daycare 03:14 PM 01-09-2014
I agree with word of caution. You should not get involved at all unless a court order makes you.

I know you want to help these kids, but don't put yourself into something that could put you in a bad place.

I did something like this many moons ago, only to have it come back and bite me.

Very similar situation and I thought that I was helping the kids out. The parent ended up turning on me and lets just say I had licensing up my butt for almost 2 years. I was never found guilty of anything nor did I get a citation of any kind but it was pure He!! for those 2 years.
Sunshine74 06:09 PM 01-09-2014
I think I would do what Heidi said. Write a letter with the facts and if they want more, they can ask.

But definitely if you have an attorney, ask him/her what they think.
Tags:courts, custody, mandated reporter
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