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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>DCM Wants to Cut Naps to 1 Hour
SunshineMama 12:01 PM 01-23-2014
DCM of 3yo DCG asked me if I could only nap dcg for 1 hour bc she has a harder time falling asleep on evenings when she comes to daycare (she is here 3 days a week). DCG would naturally sleep 1.5-2 hours, and just lay on her cot until naptime was over. She does not nap at home other days.

If dcg's naps are truly interfering with her evening falling asleep, I wouldn't want to cause any problems, however I need a break from watching all of the dck's, and if I allowed this dcg to stay up and do a quiet activity, she would be staring at me during naptime (she is a bit odd), or asking a million questions, or looking for something to tell her mom. (Mom quizzes her every single day about every detail, so the last thing I want is for dcg to go home and say she saw me watching TV, or folding the laundry, etc. However, I fully think I have every right to do whatever I want to do during naptime).

I don't want to lose dcg and tell her I only take nappers, bc I really need the money, her hours are good, and I have been already trying to fill another spot for months with the right family, I cant fill 2.

Suggestions? This 1 hour nap is crazy, I need rest. She will lay quietly the entire time, but she falls asleep, which mom doesn't want.
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Cat Herder 12:04 PM 01-23-2014
Um, tell her you'd like her to take DCG to the park for an hour of physical activity after dinner to help her sleep at night.

IDK... this is a frustrating issue.

My regs are very specific in that we "cannot force or withold naps". I have never met anyone who could force a nap....
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Blackcat31 12:05 PM 01-23-2014
Do what YOU need to do.

Parents will it out.

I can't imagine that the nap that goes .5-1 hour longer than her 1 hour limit 3 times a week is affecting her evening routine.

Do what YOU need to do in order to keep the sanity in your program.

If mom protests, just do the Nan trick...

Tell mom no problem, you will not allow DCG to sleep longer than one hour but since that is still your down time, you will have to hire another adult assistant to supervise the DCG for the remainder of rest time and will pass the cost off onto her.

They always change their tune when money comes into the equation.
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SunshineMama 12:16 PM 01-23-2014
I like the extra assistant idea, but I could never say that to this mom

You think I should just tell her to lay down for "quiet time" and just shrug at dcm and say that she fell asleep during quiet time? I feel that, if she falls asleep, she needs to sleep. DCM puts them to bed at 7 I think, maybe that's too early?

I hate that money dictates everything ugh
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craftymissbeth 12:22 PM 01-23-2014
I had one parent ask me to not let her child sleep longer than 45-60 minutes. I just let her know that all of the children are required to lay down for rest time and if they happened to fall asleep I won't wake them until rest time is over. Our afternoon nap is from 12:30ish to 3:00. She also puts her child to sleep at 7:30 p.m. and then she wakes up at 4:30 a.m.! Uh, I think maybe, just maybe you're putting her to bed a little too early. But I don't say anything. I do what I do and she can do what she does
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SunshineMama 12:29 PM 01-23-2014
I did wake up dcg after 1 hour today, which I wish I didn't do, bc she is now telling me that she has a tummy ache. Wont eat her snack (animal crackers).

I text mom and told her, and she just said that she had a BM last night so she doesn't know why her stomach would hurt.

Nevermind yesterday I called off of work with a 24 hour stomach bug that had me vomiting, among other things.
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Blackcat31 12:35 PM 01-23-2014
Originally Posted by SunshineMama:
I like the extra assistant idea, but I could never say that to this mom

You think I should just tell her to lay down for "quiet time" and just shrug at dcm and say that she fell asleep during quiet time? I feel that, if she falls asleep, she needs to sleep. DCM puts them to bed at 7 I think, maybe that's too early?

I hate that money dictates everything ugh
I would just tell her that she doesn't have to nap but she DOES have to have quiet time (my quiet time is laying down and listening to audio books) and have no further discussion about it.

If she falls asleep, she falls asleep.

If mom wants you to wake her, then she (DCG) will be cranky and crabby and that isn't fair for you to have to deal with.

I bet it's the early bed time that is having the biggest effect on her
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SunshineMama 12:38 PM 01-23-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I would just tell her that she doesn't have to nap but she DOES have to have quiet time (my quiet time is laying down and listening to audio books) and have no further discussion about it.

If she falls asleep, she falls asleep.

If mom wants you to wake her, then she (DCG) will be cranky and crabby and that isn't fair for you to have to deal with.

I bet it's the early bed time that is having the biggest effect on her
What media do you use for the audio books?
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Kabob 12:40 PM 01-23-2014
You know....when I was having major issues with my son not sleeping I found that the more tired he was the harder it was for him to fall asleep. Thus the vicious cycle continued until I started giving him melatonin after his pediatrician and I went over possible causes of his lack of sleep with a fine toothed comb. Even his pediatrician said naps are crucial. If ds doesn't get his normal nap in then he is crabby the rest of the day and then just won't go to sleep at night. So perhaps dck doesn't go to sleep because she's overly tired from the excitement at daycare? Or maybe there's another underlying issue at home...or an underlying medical issue...either way I agree, stick to your routine not hers...
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SunshineMama 12:42 PM 01-23-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
You know....when I was having major issues with my son not sleeping I found that the more tired he was the harder it was for him to fall asleep. Thus the vicious cycle continued until I started giving him melatonin after his pediatrician and I went over possible causes of his lack of sleep with a fine toothed comb. Even his pediatrician said naps are crucial. If ds doesn't get his normal nap in then he is crabby the rest of the day and then just won't go to sleep at night. So perhaps dck doesn't go to sleep because she's overly tired from the excitement at daycare? Or maybe there's another underlying issue at home...
Agreed. My daughter is 1 month younger than dcg. She naps 2 hours a day, and sleeps 7:30-7 every night.
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caregiver 12:43 PM 01-23-2014
I had a DCM once ask me to not put her 1 yr old down for a nap at all because she wanted her daughter to be able to go right to bed after dinner so that her and her husband had time to spend the evening together.
I thought to myself WOW! I told her that her daughter needed a nap at that age and everyone in my DC takes a nap,so if she wasn't happy with what I do, she can look else where for a daycare that will not give a 1 yr old a nap. Well I had this DCG for about another couple months and then apparently they found a DC that would put up with not giving her a nap.

How selfish of this woman to not want to spend time with her daughter in the evening after her being in DC for 9 hrs and wanting to not have to deal with her at night so she could spend time with the hubby. I know that it is hard to be able to spend time with each other after you have a child, but to just want to throw her in bed almost right away when you get home really made me sad for the child.
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racemom 12:44 PM 01-23-2014
This might sound terrible, but I would say ok we can try that to mom. You tried it today it didn't work so go back to letting her sleep as long as she needs to and don't tell mom how long she naps. You might be surprised how much better dcg sleeps at night when mom thinks she took a short nap.
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SilverSabre25 12:46 PM 01-23-2014
I often tell parents "Sure I can do that!" and then go on about my business as I see fit....sure it's not entirely truthful, but especially where sleep is concerned, the problem tends to magically disappear after they think I'm doing what they asked.
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Blackcat31 12:47 PM 01-23-2014
Originally Posted by SunshineMama:
What media do you use for the audio books?
I buy books on CD through Scholastic, upload them to my PC and then burn a dozen or more onto one DVD and use my DVD player to play them during rest time.
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jenboo 12:51 PM 01-23-2014
when i worked at a center there was a DCM who didn't want her son to sleep more than an hour because it interfered with bed time.
Everyday i let him sleep for 2 hours and told mom he slept for 1. Never a complaint from her. If a teacher forgot to only write that he slept for 1 hour and wrote down 2, she would come in the next morning complaining about how late he was up last night and how bedtime was a nightmare.

Worked like magic but I don't recommend lying to parents
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Play Care 12:57 PM 01-23-2014
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
I often tell parents "Sure I can do that!" and then go on about my business as I see fit....sure it's not entirely truthful, but especially where sleep is concerned, the problem tends to magically disappear after they think I'm doing what they asked.

That said, my QT is 12-2 each day and a child who wakes early has some books they can look at if need be but I can't let one up without waking others who really need a nap.
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Laurel 01:11 PM 01-23-2014
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
I often tell parents "Sure I can do that!" and then go on about my business as I see fit....sure it's not entirely truthful, but especially where sleep is concerned, the problem tends to magically disappear after they think I'm doing what they asked.

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dave4him 02:59 PM 01-23-2014
Would be nice if i could get them to nap! Sometimes i can get them to at the same time but if i have my niece its nearly impossible unless we all go for a country drive
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KidGrind 03:14 PM 01-23-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:

If mom protests, just do the Nan trick...

Tell mom no problem, you will not allow DCG to sleep longer than one hour but since that is still your down time, you will have to hire another adult assistant to supervise the DCG for the remainder of rest time and will pass the cost off onto her.

They always change their tune when money comes into the equation.
I did this with a drop-in client who wanted 2 guaranteed days per week. I said due to ratio Id have to hire an assistant and pass the costs on to you.

Without hesitation she said, Okay, how much?

I nearly fainted. I did exactly what NannyDe said and I am making what I make for a full-time DCK for a part-timer.

You guys are the best with advice.
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MyAngels 04:40 PM 01-23-2014
Originally Posted by racemom:
This might sound terrible, but I would say ok we can try that to mom. You tried it today it didn't work so go back to letting her sleep as long as she needs to and don't tell mom how long she naps. You might be surprised how much better dcg sleeps at night when mom thinks she took a short nap.
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
I often tell parents "Sure I can do that!" and then go on about my business as I see fit....sure it's not entirely truthful, but especially where sleep is concerned, the problem tends to magically disappear after they think I'm doing what they asked.


And here I thought I was the only one who has done this
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racemom 06:31 PM 01-23-2014
Originally Posted by MyAngels:


And here I thought I was the only one who has done this
Me too! I honestly hesitated before posting because I worried what others might think of me for telling parents what they wanted to hear and then doing what works!
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daycarediva 03:39 AM 01-24-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I would just tell her that she doesn't have to nap but she DOES have to have quiet time (my quiet time is laying down and listening to audio books) and have no further discussion about it.

If she falls asleep, she falls asleep.

If mom wants you to wake her, then she (DCG) will be cranky and crabby and that isn't fair for you to have to deal with.

I bet it's the early bed time that is having the biggest effect on her
All children are required to have a rest period. I cannot withhold sleep from a child, so if they fall asleep, they fall asleep and I will wake them when everyone else is up if they don't wake up sooner.

Originally Posted by racemom:
This might sound terrible, but I would say ok we can try that to mom. You tried it today it didn't work so go back to letting her sleep as long as she needs to and don't tell mom how long she naps. You might be surprised how much better dcg sleeps at night when mom thinks she took a short nap.
Done this, worked like a charm.

I have one true non napper, sometimes naps for half hour or so. ALWAYS stays on the mat the entire time, I have an mp3 player that she listens to. With the new regs, I can't keep her on the mat and MAY have to let her go. As soon as she is up, she is WILD and we all nap in the same room.
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My3cents 10:52 AM 01-24-2014
Originally Posted by SunshineMama:
DCM of 3yo DCG asked me if I could only nap dcg for 1 hour bc she has a harder time falling asleep on evenings when she comes to daycare (she is here 3 days a week). DCG would naturally sleep 1.5-2 hours, and just lay on her cot until naptime was over. She does not nap at home other days.

If dcg's naps are truly interfering with her evening falling asleep, I wouldn't want to cause any problems, however I need a break from watching all of the dck's, and if I allowed this dcg to stay up and do a quiet activity, she would be staring at me during naptime (she is a bit odd), or asking a million questions, or looking for something to tell her mom. (Mom quizzes her every single day about every detail, so the last thing I want is for dcg to go home and say she saw me watching TV, or folding the laundry, etc. However, I fully think I have every right to do whatever I want to do during naptime).

I don't want to lose dcg and tell her I only take nappers, bc I really need the money, her hours are good, and I have been already trying to fill another spot for months with the right family, I cant fill 2.

Suggestions? This 1 hour nap is crazy, I need rest. She will lay quietly the entire time, but she falls asleep, which mom doesn't want.
Um No! Tons of post on this topic. 3 she needs a nap. You need a break. Your home, your program, your rules -
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My3cents 10:53 AM 01-24-2014
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
Um, tell her you'd like her to take DCG to the park for an hour of physical activity after dinner to help her sleep at night.

IDK... this is a frustrating issue.

My regs are very specific in that we "cannot force or withold naps". I have never met anyone who could force a nap....
I started to right this first line, it was my thought too- lol I even had the Um part down. lol
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My3cents 10:55 AM 01-24-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Do what YOU need to do.

Parents will it out.

I can't imagine that the nap that goes .5-1 hour longer than her 1 hour limit 3 times a week is affecting her evening routine.

Do what YOU need to do in order to keep the sanity in your program.

If mom protests, just do the Nan trick...

Tell mom no problem, you will not allow DCG to sleep longer than one hour but since that is still your down time, you will have to hire another adult assistant to supervise the DCG for the remainder of rest time and will pass the cost off onto her.

They always change their tune when money comes into the equation.
lol or you will have to pick her up......lol
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KIDZRMYBIZ 11:10 AM 01-24-2014
Yep, RaceMom, SilverSabre, and MyAngels. That's just exactly what I do. Most DCPs are totally clueless how a request like this is going to wreck havoc for us, no matter how much we try to hammer it into their heads. And the request for shorter naps is always a very selfish one, and not in the best interest of the child. I've whined about this very same "way freaking early bedtime epidemic" so many times, I sound like a broken record.

I just lay that child down last, say a little something about how all his/her friends are already sleeping (dcg/b will repeat this to mom and dad). If they ever ask about it, I just say I let the child stay up till about 2, and get them up at 3 with everyone else. No one ever is the wiser!
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Crazy8 11:17 AM 01-24-2014
Originally Posted by MyAngels:


And here I thought I was the only one who has done this
LOL!! me too. I was thinking it as I was reading down the posts thinking maybe I shouldn't say it, but then saw a few have beat me too it.

It is really funny how parents will tell me how "they" solved that problem when I am not really doing anything different. And not for nothing but 7pm is a pretty early bedtime for a 3 year old (assuming she is on a fairly normal wake up/nap time).
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Tags:nap, need - the money, parent request - no nap
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