DCM Now Wants DCG3 Not To Nap

[SunshineMama]

I posted last week about how dcm wanted me to shorten dcg's naps bc she wasn't going to bed on time. The consensus was to just go ahead and keep my normal schedule, and see if the problem fixes itself. Today, dcm stated that dcg still is having problems going to sleep, despite the decrease in nap times, and asked that I give her quiet time instead.

I'm up with my kids from 5:30am until 8:00/8:30pm, and naptime during the day is the only "free" time I have, so theres no way that I am going to provide 1:1 care, and watch this child during MY quiet time. The solution was to let dcg read quietly during naptime, which I agreed to do with dcm.

Today is day 1 of "quiet time" for dcg. I advised her that she could read or play quietly in the playroom. I just went in to check on her, and she got her sleeping bag out, put it on her cot, and was laying down.

My first inclination is to just tell dcm what happened, but I don't want dcm to get mad that she was trying to go to sleep and take her out of my care bc shes having problems at night sleeping. I cant replace dcg. I have been trying to fill my other spot for a few months as it is, and she has a great schedule. What do you suggest? I don't want to

[melilley]

I always tell families that we have our rest time; that all children have to have quiet time and if they fall asleep, then they fall asleep. Here we have to have a time where children can rest, sleep, or do both. I always tell new families that we have a nap time and if their child falls asleep, then I have to let them sleep even if they request for them not to. Thankfully all of my dcp's want their children to nap.

I don't think that some parents realize that nap time is our break time. We need the break as much as the kids need a rest break!

[SunshineMama]

So at pickup time, should I just tell dcm that dcg was advised that she did not have to nap, and was given books and told she could play quietly, but dcg instead chose to lay down and nap?

It annoys me that parents want me to keep a child awake so they can put them to bed early. If a child falls asleep during the day, its obvious that they need it, isn't it?

[Kabob]

Originally Posted by SunshineMama

So at pickup time, should I just tell dcm that dcg was advised that she did not have to nap, and was given books and told she could play quietly, but dcg instead chose to lay down and nap?

It annoys me that parents want me to keep a child awake so they can put them to bed early. If a child falls asleep during the day, its obvious that they need it, isn't it?

As I said, when my ds was having trouble sleeping at night, it got worse when he didn't nap well. The longer he napped, the less fuss he put up at bed time. I would advise her to take dcg to the doctor and see if there isn't an underlying medical issue first. My son's dr prescribed melatonin and the problem was literally solved overnight and we didn't change anything in his routine.

[melilley]

Originally Posted by SunshineMama

So at pickup time, should I just tell dcm that dcg was advised that she did not have to nap, and was given books and told she could play quietly, but dcg instead chose to lay down and nap?

It annoys me that parents want me to keep a child awake so they can put them to bed early. If a child falls asleep during the day, its obvious that they need it, isn't it?

Yes, if a child is falling asleep during the day then I personally I believe that they need the sleep and they should be able to nap. I could see maybe limiting nap time, but to do away with it altogether isn't right for the child.

I would just tell the parent what you said. I would tell them that you can't prevent a child from falling asleep. It is annoying that they want or expect you do do that!

[SunshineMama]

Originally Posted by melilley

Yes, if a child is falling asleep during the day then I personally I believe that they need the sleep and they should be able to nap. I could see maybe limiting nap time, but to do away with it altogether isn't right for the child.

I would just tell the parent what you said. I would tell them that you can't prevent a child from falling asleep. It is annoying that they want or expect you do do that!

I tried to keep her awake all naptime and it was so annoying. I had to go in 4 different times and remind her not to sleep. It didn't feel right.

[Leigh]

Originally Posted by Kabob

As I said, when my ds was having trouble sleeping at night, it got worse when he didn't nap well. The longer he napped, the less fuss he put up at bed time. I would advise her to take dcg to the doctor and see if there isn't an underlying medical issue first. My son's dr prescribed melatonin and the problem was literally solved overnight and we didn't change anything in his routine.

This is just how nature works. ALL 3 year olds need a nap...some resist them and won't take them, but they need them. No way would I agree to a 3 year old skipping nap.

[Jack Sprat]

Poor you and poor her! The kiddo is tired! I would tell mom exactly what happened and how it made you feel. Maybe she needs to adjust the bedtime routine.

I had a dcb who was 5 last summer. His parents said he could rest but, not nap as then he wouldn't go to bed till late at night. I asked him what he did to fall asleep at night. There was the problem. T.V. was on in his room, he got a snack every night before bed (cookie, chips etc) and was sometimes allowed to play video games till he was tired. I told his parents I wasn't making him sleep but, he HAD to lay down and rest and if he fell asleep I would not wake him. I then posted links on my website about sleep, routines, and watching T.V. while trying to get to sleep. Never a peep out of them again about naps.

[Blackcat31]

Unfortunately, because you are stuck...(financially) there really is no other alternative other than to do what the mother is asking you to do.

I know it's hard but when money(or loss of) is THE number one contributing factor in a situation, your hands become tied and the list of options becomes blank.

If you can't afford to say no this nonsense (because clearly the child *needs* a nap) then you are just going to have to keep her awake and not let her sleep.

If you try and just let her sleep and not tell mom, the family WILL know and will pull their child.

If you give her quiet time and have to continually remind her to not fall asleep, then YOU lose your quiet time.


Bottom line is you either do what works for you and potentially lose the income or you do what works for the family and keep the income.

It IS a tough choice and not one I like finding myself in but sadly those really are the only options.

[TwinKristi]

Why do you have her such long days? Does she wake up at 5:30 upon drop off or sleep for another hour? What is nap time again?

Personally I just wouldn't do it. Unless she's sleeping til 3-4hrs at your house I don't know why a child would have such a hard time sleeping after 9pm. I would encourage re-evaluating her schedule in general and seeing how you can help. Is this a new development or mom is just tired of fighting sleep at night? Maybe recommend asking their Ped about CalmForte4kids or Melatonin to help with sleep? If shes awake at 5:30am I don't know HOW a 3yr old would phyiscally make it to 9pm without a nap. WAY too long to be awake.

1-3 Years Old: 12 - 14 hours per day

As your child moves past the first year toward 18-21 months of age he will likely lose his morning nap and nap only once a day. While toddlers need up to 14 hours a day of sleep, they typically get only about 10.

Most children from about 21 to 36 months of age still need one nap a day, which may range from one to three and a half hours long. They typically go to bed between 7 and 9 p.m. and wake up between 6 and 8 a.m.

3-6 Years Old: 10 - 12 hours per day

Children at this age typically go to bed between 7 and 9 p.m. and wake up around 6 and 8 a.m., just as they did when they were younger. At 3, most children are still napping, while at 5, most are not. Naps gradually become shorter as well. New sleep problems do not usually develop after 3 years of age.

[Cradle2crayons]

Regardless of the need for income, I wouldn't do what mom is asking. My need for money can't negate doing the right thing. Rest is one of the most important things for a child. I would simply explain that yes, you explained the quiet play thing to dcg and leave it at that. If she asked me if dcg napped I would tell her what happened. If she pulls she pulls. I know you need the money, but doing what you know is right for you AND dcg shouldn't rest on income.

I know you are in a very tough spot right now.

[SilverSabre25]

Originally Posted by TwinKristi

Why do you have her such long days? Does she wake up at 5:30 upon drop off or sleep for another hour? What is nap time again?

Personally I just wouldn't do it. Unless she's sleeping til 3-4hrs at your house I don't know why a child would have such a hard time sleeping after 9pm. I would encourage re-evaluating her schedule in general and seeing how you can help. Is this a new development or mom is just tired of fighting sleep at night? Maybe recommend asking their Ped about CalmForte4kids or Melatonin to help with sleep? If shes awake at 5:30am I don't know HOW a 3yr old would phyiscally make it to 9pm without a nap. WAY too long to be awake.

she doesn't have this dcg those long hours, OP said that she is up with her OWN kids at 5:30 and until 8-8:30

[TwinKristi]

Originally Posted by SilverSabre25

she doesn't have this dcg those long hours, OP said that she is up with her OWN kids at 5:30 and until 8-8:30

I need to read better!

Well that makes sense!