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Old 02-11-2014, 11:28 AM
kendallina's Avatar
kendallina kendallina is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Ohio
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Default Scenario- Please Help

Please help me with how to handle this:

Of course, there is a history with this family and I have seen dad's anger directed toward his children one too many times and I'm just feelings pushed over the edge about it!

Dad drops off, mutters something about mom being sick today. His daughter (3-years-old) is crying, almost inconsolably and he berates her for not remembering her own valentine's for our party. She is literally falling apart, he leaves without helping her off with her coat/etc. Leaves her standing in the doorway.

Another mom dropping at the same time said he was in the driveway blaming the girl because she forgot the valentines.

Huh??? Her fault?

Poor thing cried for 10 minutes in my lap and was weepy all morning.

I run a 3-hour preschool program. We were going to right away start in on party stuff, but it was impossible with this sweet little girl feeling completely at fault for something that should not be her sole responsibility.

I would like to tell dad to never drop her off in that condition again. Not only was it a horrible way to treat his 3-year old, but it was incredibly disruptive to the start of our day (we were just starting morning meeting when he came in). I would also like to tell him that :

#1 3-year olds are not mentally able to remember to bring their own things every morning (he is frequently blaming her (and her sister when she was here) whenever she forgets something). Doesn't he have some responsibility in this???

#2 Some children just need more love and comfort from the adults in their life. This little girl is one of those children. Someone in this relationship needs to be the adult. It will not be her and she will never be able to regulate her own emotions if he doesn't help her, guide her and teach her. He is constantly complaining that she cries too much (she is a crier-I'll give him that), but then isn't it his job to help her through those emotions and help her to see that things are not so bad as they seem? I understand that he was frustrated with her, but to blame her when she's already feeling like crap because she doesn't have valentine's to give out???

#3 You're not allowed to bring a backpack into the program! Stop doing it! He never drops off, so it hasn't been a problem before but it annoyed me today especially on top of everything

Would you say anything at pickup?

Thanks for letting me vent, I don't need to do it a lot as I have mostly great parents, but this family is under my skin!
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Old 02-11-2014, 11:33 AM
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Cat Herder Cat Herder is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
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From experience, NO.

It may make it worse on DCK.

I'd report my concerns to someone who does that for a living.
- Unless otherwise stated, all my posts are personal opinion and worth what you paid for them.
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Old 02-11-2014, 11:55 AM
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butterfly butterfly is offline Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,630

Originally Posted by Cat Herder View Post
From experience, NO.

It may make it worse on DCK.

I'd report my concerns to someone who does that for a living.
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anger, emotional abuse, mandated reporter, verbal abuse

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