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Old 05-27-2014, 10:15 AM
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Default Divorce, Custody Arrangement Decision. How long do courts take?

I have a dc family at court today. Mom wants to take kid out of state permanently. Dad doesn't want it to happen. He's in the army though, and leaves for months at a time. Mom has no family here. If dad quits army to follow them then he has no job.

So, sorry to make this about me but I'm thinking in terms of when I will find out if I'm losing a kid or not? How long do they usually take to decide?
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Old 05-27-2014, 11:37 AM
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I hate to say it but I highly doubt dad will get custody. How would he take care of her? I'd plan on her leaving.
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Old 05-27-2014, 11:52 AM
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Originally Posted by queen_of_the_playground View Post
I hate to say it but I highly doubt dad will get custody. How would he take care of her? I'd plan on her leaving.
I guess I was thinking that mom would be forced to stay in state.
Its really sad. Poor dad.
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Old 05-27-2014, 11:54 AM
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I guess I was thinking that mom would be forced to stay in state.
Its really sad. Poor dad.
Court can't force mom to stay... but they can give Dad custody and she would have visitation but with him in the military being gone that makes it more complicated.
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Old 05-27-2014, 11:57 AM
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I think it depends on the state. I know when my dh was divorced many, many years ago, he had to give permission for his ex to leave the state. If he hadn't, then she would have had to prove to the courts that her staying would be a hardship on her and the kids. As far as how long it will take, depends on the judge. He could hear and decide immediately, he could refer it back to mediation, or he could postpone a decision until a representative of the court has had time to talk to all the parties and make a recommendation.
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Old 05-27-2014, 12:28 PM
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Court can't force mom to stay... but they can give Dad custody and she would have visitation but with him in the military being gone that makes it more complicated.
I was hoping they would say she can have custody if she stays or give shared custody so she has to stay or choose to leave alone. The whole thing is just a terrible situation. I wouldn't want to be on either side.
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Old 05-27-2014, 12:34 PM
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Originally Posted by snbauser View Post
I think it depends on the state. I know when my dh was divorced many, many years ago, he had to give permission for his ex to leave the state. If he hadn't, then she would have had to prove to the courts that her staying would be a hardship on her and the kids. As far as how long it will take, depends on the judge. He could hear and decide immediately, he could refer it back to mediation, or he could postpone a decision until a representative of the court has had time to talk to all the parties and make a recommendation.
Same here in my state.
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Old 05-27-2014, 01:41 PM
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The court can't force mom to stay...but can force kids to stay (which would technically force mom to, also). If he's gone for months at a time, then he'll likely not get full custody.

I actually just went through this thing with my ex. I didn't realize that Kansas required 30 days written notice delivered by certified mail, because our divorce papers didn't have that in it. So, I let my ex know several months in advance, everything seemed fine, he helped me pack up to move to Texas, then turned around and filed an emergency hearing based on illegal move-off, lol. The judge found that I didn't move maliciously (for the same reasons as the mom you're talking about, my ex was gone a lot and all of my family and support was in Texas), so I was okay but there was a chance the judge could have ordered the children returned to Kansas.

They should know by today, unless a continuance is requested. Sometimes it seems like the courts are set up in such a way that makes playing games and dragging things out so easy.
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Old 05-29-2014, 08:17 AM
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Any update?
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Old 05-29-2014, 08:36 AM
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Not really. Turns out court was actually yesterday. I got a vague text from dad about getting together to talk today about possible future plans to watch the dck. Mom picked up and didn't say anything. It was awkward, other parents were around, so I couldn't ask and she didn't offer.
Today I wasn't here for drop off. I'm here now and dck mentions that she might go home with her grandma who is visiting from the state where mom wants to move. But who's to say what that means. It could be for vacation, for a month, for the summer, forever, who knows.
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Old 05-29-2014, 08:51 AM
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How old is DCK? That is a big factor.

I have seen it take over a year for a custody issue & I was asked to give a deposition.

I have a DCB2 who is here every other week due to joint custody.

I have a DCB4 who is here spring, summer & winter breaks & mom lives in another state.

I have a friend who was ordered to remain in this county until the divorce was finalized.

I have had my own military son granted custody of his 1yr old & when he went away, I had guardianship over him.

In the end, it all depends on the circumstance & state. I live in Indiana.
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Old 05-29-2014, 11:33 AM
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I still don't know because dad can't come today. But he asked me if I can watch dck all week next week, instead of the 2 days she's supposed to come.
I'm waiting on this final outcome b4 I tell another client I don't want them to come back. Ugh I'm so frustrated!
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Old 05-29-2014, 11:48 AM
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I know of a situation where the military dad won custody when the mom moved out of state, but he also had to agree that the mom could have the kids any time he was gone...for however long. He couldn't have grandma, girlfriend etc take them. If mom wanted them any time he was away with the Air Force, she got them and HE had to make sure travel etc was taken care of.

In other words, the judge gave him custody as long as ALL his ducks were in a row in case he had to leave for an extended time.
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Old 05-29-2014, 12:43 PM
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I couldnt take it anymore and asked via text. DCD has her until end of June then she moves with mom.
She's my fav
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Old 06-03-2014, 06:28 AM
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Turns out I was wrong. I just spoke to DCD in pperson.

turns out he has dck 2 weeks per month starting in August through next June. I will have dck those 2 weeks every month. Works out fine for me! I won't get paid the off weeks but I'm guaranteed 2 weeks pay/month. I know many providers wouldn't do it, but in my case it works. I'm happy.
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Old 06-03-2014, 06:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DaisyMamma View Post
Turns out I was wrong. I just spoke to DCD in pperson.

turns out he has dck 2 weeks per month starting in August through next June. I will have dck those 2 weeks every month. Works out fine for me! I won't get paid the off weeks but I'm guaranteed 2 weeks pay/month. I know many providers wouldn't do it, but in my case it works. I'm happy.
If it works for you then cool!

Glad to see things worked out positively!
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