Daycare.com Forum

Go Back   Daycare.com Forum > Main Category > Daycare Center and Family Home Forum

Daycare Center and Family Home Forum Daycare Center and Family Home owners, Directors, Operators and Assistants should post and ask questions here.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 03-19-2015, 10:53 AM
MamaB'sKidz's Avatar
MamaB'sKidz MamaB'sKidz is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 50
Default Have You Ever Been Hit By a DCK!??

This morning, right after breakfast one of my DCB's hit another child (my own) with a hard plastic toy. This resulted in a busted bloody lip. I calmed the child down cleaned him up and walked over to the DCB that did the hitting. I got down to eye level with him, took the toy away and said we do not hit! Before I could get another word out he punched me right smack in the nose, closed fist and all! I couldn't believe it! This DCB is 2, where in the world do they pick this stuff up from. He comes from a good family. He is a little on the rowdy side, typical boy/2 yr old. But he has never punched anyone before, and definitely never hit me.
Well after I calmed down, I called the mom and had her come pick him up. She seemed annoyed she had to come get him and at the same time upset with her child for doing that. Should I have not called for pick up? What would you have done?
Somedays I feel more like a referee than a daycare provider. Oh any btw...the child that was hit is fine, no stitches needed. He will most likely have a little scar.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 03-19-2015, 11:03 AM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

I've been bit . Termed that day.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 03-19-2015, 11:08 AM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 16,633
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaB'sKidz View Post
This morning, right after breakfast one of my DCB's hit another child (my own) with a hard plastic toy. This resulted in a busted bloody lip. I calmed the child down cleaned him up and walked over to the DCB that did the hitting. I got down to eye level with him, took the toy away and said we do not hit! Before I could get another word out he punched me right smack in the nose, closed fist and all! I couldn't believe it! This DCB is 2, where in the world do they pick this stuff up from. He comes from a good family. He is a little on the rowdy side, typical boy/2 yr old. But he has never punched anyone before, and definitely never hit me.
Well after I calmed down, I called the mom and had her come pick him up. She seemed annoyed she had to come get him and at the same time upset with her child for doing that. Should I have not called for pick up? What would you have done?
Somedays I feel more like a referee than a daycare provider. Oh any btw...the child that was hit is fine, no stitches needed. He will most likely have a little scar.
I would have done the EXACT same thing as you, except the mom would have left KNOWING I was the one upset.

2 yr olds don't know impulse control and do occasionally hit their peers when frustrated, angry or upset but not adults.

Most children view adults as the authority figure and not as a peer, therefore not someone they can hit.

I would let mom know that you will NOT tolerate a child that thinks it is okay to hit an adult. My reaction to being hit would have been strong enough that DCB would have instantly known that his actions were NOT acceptable.

I know others will get offended by this but it's a lot like training a dog. I am NOT saying kids are dogs...I am saying the methods in which we teach appropriate behaviors and unacceptable behaviors is VERY similar.

I hope your little one is okay. Sounds as if he really got banged up.

((hugs)) to him.

I am sorry the DC boy hit you. In my 20+ years as a provider it's only happened to me once. Not because of anything I did or do differently than you but just that I've been lucky enough that it hasn't happened more than once. In my case, the child was ALOT older and termed immediately.

I have however been witness to kids hitting their parents at pick up and continually amazed at the willingness of parents to accept this type of behavior as "normal" or developmentally appropriate. I do NOT believe it is at all.

I think with the type of parents and parenting styles I've seen the last few years this will become more common. Still UNacceptable in my book but more common as more and more parents struggle with having to be the parent, leader and/or alpha in their family units.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 03-19-2015, 11:10 AM
Gemma's Avatar
Gemma Gemma is offline
Childcare Provider
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: U.S.A
Posts: 739
Default

I would have called for pick up too!...and then I'd tell mom if this happens again, it will be Immediate Termination.

How's your nose?
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 03-19-2015, 11:14 AM
Gemma's Avatar
Gemma Gemma is offline
Childcare Provider
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: U.S.A
Posts: 739
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I have however been witness to kids hitting their parents at pick up and continually amazed at the willingness of parents to accept this type of behavior as "normal" or developmentally appropriate. I do NOT believe it is at all.

.
I don't get it either!
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 03-19-2015, 11:38 AM
Second Home's Avatar
Second Home Second Home is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 1,492
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gemma View Post
I would have called for pick up too!...and then I'd tell mom if this happens again, it will be Immediate Termination.
I would do the same .
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 03-19-2015, 11:43 AM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

I have not been hit but I have been bitten a couple times by a 3 1/2 yr old and a 5 year old. Both were termed after trying to make it work. I don't do biting well at all and especially not from older children.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 03-19-2015, 11:44 AM
MamaB'sKidz's Avatar
MamaB'sKidz MamaB'sKidz is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 50
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gemma View Post
I would have called for pick up too!...and then I'd tell mom if this happens again, it will be Immediate Termination.

How's your nose?
My nose is good now. DCB packs quite a punch, brought tears to my eyes. I wanted to call my mommy to come pick me up too!! hahaha
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 03-19-2015, 11:55 AM
MamaB'sKidz's Avatar
MamaB'sKidz MamaB'sKidz is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 50
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I would have done the EXACT same thing as you, except the mom would have left KNOWING I was the one upset.

2 yr olds don't know impulse control and do occasionally hit their peers when frustrated, angry or upset but not adults.

Most children view adults as the authority figure and not as a peer, therefore not someone they can hit.

I would let mom know that you will NOT tolerate a child that thinks it is okay to hit an adult. My reaction to being hit would have been strong enough that DCB would have instantly known that his actions were NOT acceptable.

I know others will get offended by this but it's a lot like training a dog. I am NOT saying kids are dogs...I am saying the methods in which we teach appropriate behaviors and unacceptable behaviors is VERY similar.

I hope your little one is okay. Sounds as if he really got banged up.

((hugs)) to him.

I am sorry the DC boy hit you. In my 20+ years as a provider it's only happened to me once. Not because of anything I did or do differently than you but just that I've been lucky enough that it hasn't happened more than once. In my case, the child was ALOT older and termed immediately.

I have however been witness to kids hitting their parents at pick up and continually amazed at the willingness of parents to accept this type of behavior as "normal" or developmentally appropriate. I do NOT believe it is at all.

I think with the type of parents and parenting styles I've seen the last few years this will become more common. Still UNacceptable in my book but more common as more and more parents struggle with having to be the parent, leader and/or alpha in their family units.
Thank you!
While waiting for the mom to pick up I put the DCB at my cool down table (nice way of saying time out :-) and he sat there and chewed the paint off the back of my chair. This DCB was really struggling today!! I hope he doesn't continue to act this way.
I do agree with you...parenting styles are changing and not for the better! My little one is ok, feeling hurt more than anything.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 03-19-2015, 01:07 PM
mommiebookworm's Avatar
mommiebookworm mommiebookworm is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 348
Default

I had one 2 yr old boy who did. He would throw toys and hit the other kids. One day, he was fussy at drop off so I picked him up. He slapped me as hard as he could on the face! I gave his parents a warning, that if the hitting continued he would have to find another provider. Well, he lasted only two weeks after that. He has since gone to three other providers that I know of.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 03-19-2015, 01:15 PM
daycare's Avatar
daycare daycare is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Moderator
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Mars
Posts: 16,021
Default

I have been hit once, it was their 2nd and last day.

I would draw up a probation form of something of this nature. What will you do if it happens again type of thing.

I would be spelling it out to the parents that you need to keep everyone including yourself safe and that they need to start backing you up. I have this pod cast that was given to me by my teacher that talks about PRESCHOOL children are the most common age of any other school kids, including elementary, middle and highschool that get expelled. They are saying it's happening at an alarming rate. Let me see if I still have it so I can share it.

I think that if you present a document to the parents letting them know this can't happen again this will let them know you mean business, won't be in shock when you have to term, or will do something about it, or lastly, leave.

Maybe even give them a print out to help them with curbing the behavior.

http://challengingbehavior.fmhi.usf....pk_hitting.pdf


sorry this happened to you and your child. Glad they are ok.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 03-19-2015, 02:00 PM
Sunchimes's Avatar
Sunchimes Sunchimes is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,795
Default

Yes, several times a day. Last week he split my lip, and punched me in the nose hard enough for it to be sore a couple of days. But, he has many, many contributing issues, not the least being a neurological rage disorder. Parents and ECI are also working on it, and we start play therapy next week. So far, he has only had minimal issues with other kids, and all in the range of typical 2 behavior. If he were a typical child he would have been gone months ago. But I have too much invested in this child to quit now. I'm just thankful we have worked past the biting stage. Now, he bites himself when overwrought.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 03-19-2015, 04:14 PM
Gemma's Avatar
Gemma Gemma is offline
Childcare Provider
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: U.S.A
Posts: 739
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaB'sKidz View Post
My nose is good now. DCB packs quite a punch, brought tears to my eyes. I wanted to call my mommy to come pick me up too!! hahaha
I'm glad your sense of humor didn't get knocked out!
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 03-19-2015, 09:20 PM
Bookworm's Avatar
Bookworm Bookworm is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 859
Default

I've never been hit, but I was called the "N" word. DCB was gone within the hour. The fact that he was comfortable with hitting you while correcting him tell me he does this at home. I agree that he needs to go.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 03-20-2015, 02:31 AM
Josiegirl's Avatar
Josiegirl Josiegirl is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Right here
Posts: 8,810
Default

Yes, I've been hit. I wish I'd been smart enough to let the dck go right then. But he still comes when school's out. He's always been challenging and extremely strong-willed and I guess I don't do well with strong willed kids.

I'm glad you made the decision that you did. I think sometimes dcps need that wake up call that their child needs some at-home discipline and guidance.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 03-20-2015, 04:46 AM
MamaB'sKidz's Avatar
MamaB'sKidz MamaB'sKidz is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 50
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Josiegirl View Post
Yes, I've been hit. I wish I'd been smart enough to let the dck go right then. But he still comes when school's out. He's always been challenging and extremely strong-willed and I guess I don't do well with strong willed kids.

I'm glad you made the decision that you did. I think sometimes dcps need that wake up call that their child needs some at-home discipline and guidance.

I feel your pain...most of my DCK's are also strong-willed and unfortunalty I'm quite the softy. I am glad I made the decision for him to picked up too. The mom dropped off this morning and told me he's in boot camp at home and the first time he breaks a rule he goes straight to our cool down table. DCB came in and was actually happy which surprised me. But it's Friday and today IS going to be a better day! Have a great weekend!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
aggressive behavior, hitting

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:58 PM.



Daycare.com         Find A Daycare         List Your Daycare         Toys & Products                 About Us

Daycare.com
Please read our Disclaimer before continuing.

Topics pertain mainly to the following States:

Alabama Alaska Arizona Arkansas California Colorado Connecticut Delaware District of Columbia Florida Georgia Hawaii Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah Vermont Virginia Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming