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  #1  
Old 03-23-2015, 07:36 AM
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Default Parents that Lie

Do you confront parents that lie? I have had 2 parents in the last week lie to me. Normally I don't worry about it. As long as they follow my rules and pay and pick up on time, then I don't care what you do. But I have had one parent that I feel like I need to address.The parent is divorced and her ex husband pays me as part of child support. Well DCB started a month ago when the mom started a new job. With her hours, we worked out for her to pick at 6, even though I close at 5:30( which is still fine with me) However, she has been "off" work for the last 2 weeks. I am pretty sure she quit her job because she just didn't fit in there. She doesn't want me to know. She is still bringing DCB everyday (which is 100% fine) but if she isn't working I want her to pick up by closing time.Right now she is picking up about 5:45. So still earlier then 6 but after closing time. I am not sure how to bring it up with out sounding like I am confronting her. I know she has been lying about it because when she started here a month ago, DCB was sick and she told me she just started a new job and didn't have any time off so he had to stay with grandma, well the last 2 weeks she has been saying things like "oh I left work early or Oh I took a vacation day so I am going to bring ***** a little late. How do I address this without sounding like I don't want him here or bring it up with her?
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Old 03-23-2015, 07:48 AM
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Oh yes. I just wrote a thread last week about a similar issue. I agreed to keep a dcg later than my closing time when they were working, but dcd keep coming from the bar. I did confront them and they took it very personally. They won't give me a work schedule and I actually suspect they are going to term me as soon as possible. It didn't go well. If I had a chance to do this over, I would just tell them I'm changing back my closing time to the regular time and I wouldn't have brought up the reason why. I'm sure you'll get some other better advice from the people here. I'll be following. Good luck!
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Old 03-23-2015, 07:48 AM
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Its tough since you already agreed to 6pm. Maybe just ask her how the new job is going? She may just spill the beans, out of paranoia. Which will then give you the opportunity to start the conversation you need. You can say, "Oh, sorry to hear! Well since I agreed to watch your child past closing time, for your new job, you will certainly be able to pick him up by closing time everyday then."
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Old 03-23-2015, 08:33 AM
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I wouldn't bring up the work thing at all.

Just let her know you are changing back your hours to 530 and you need child picked up by then.

Does she pay extra for that time? If so, you may want to refund her that as incentive. If she doesn't pay extra, then even better, she's taking advantage.

If she asks you why, just let her know you are finding that extra half hour is cutting into your family/personal hours and /or it makes for a very long day.

I've known and had evidence of parents lying like this, but I just make changes that are necessary for me, and leave them out of the decision. Hth.
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Old 03-23-2015, 09:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shell View Post
I wouldn't bring up the work thing at all.

Just let her know you are changing back your hours to 530 and you need child picked up by then.

Does she pay extra for that time? If so, you may want to refund her that as incentive. If she doesn't pay extra, then even better, she's taking advantage.

If she asks you why, just let her know you are finding that extra half hour is cutting into your family/personal hours and /or it makes for a very long day.

I've known and had evidence of parents lying like this, but I just make changes that are necessary for me, and leave them out of the decision. Hth.
No I didn't make her pay extra. It was one of those things where she said while she was new there she had this shift and around Jun or July her shift would change and she would get off at 5 instead of 6. I told her that as long as it didn't interfere with my own kids and there activities then it was fine. It was one of those things that I wanted the spot filled and really didn't care about the extra 30 min and I still don't. If she is still working I would still keep him. Its just him and hes not a problem. but I also don't want her thinking that he can stay if she is off.
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  #6  
Old 03-23-2015, 09:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cara041083 View Post
Do you confront parents that lie? I have had 2 parents in the last week lie to me. Normally I don't worry about it. As long as they follow my rules and pay and pick up on time, then I don't care what you do. But I have had one parent that I feel like I need to address.The parent is divorced and her ex husband pays me as part of child support. Well DCB started a month ago when the mom started a new job. With her hours, we worked out for her to pick at 6, even though I close at 5:30( which is still fine with me) However, she has been "off" work for the last 2 weeks. I am pretty sure she quit her job because she just didn't fit in there. She doesn't want me to know. She is still bringing DCB everyday (which is 100% fine) but if she isn't working I want her to pick up by closing time.Right now she is picking up about 5:45. So still earlier then 6 but after closing time. I am not sure how to bring it up with out sounding like I am confronting her. I know she has been lying about it because when she started here a month ago, DCB was sick and she told me she just started a new job and didn't have any time off so he had to stay with grandma, well the last 2 weeks she has been saying things like "oh I left work early or Oh I took a vacation day so I am going to bring ***** a little late. How do I address this without sounding like I don't want him here or bring it up with her?
What exactly makes you think she no longer has her job?

Other than her not fitting in? Has anything else happened to make you think that?

If you are SURE, I'd absolutely say something to her about it. I am a no nonsense person and if I have questions, I usually always ask. I don't have time to guess, assume or wonder so for me addressing an issue head on immediately works well for me.

If I knew for sure she no longer has the job I would say "Hey DCM when we agreed that you could pick up after my closing time it was because of your work schedule. Now that you are no longer working for XX company, you will need to submit a new weekly schedule that is cohesive with my business hours. If you find another job that requires a later pick up time, let me know and we can discuss options"

I don't feel that is rude at all, but rather necessary information you have every right to request in order for you to maintain a well run program.
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Old 03-23-2015, 09:44 AM
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If it were me, I would say that one of my own kids, or even just I, wanted to do some activity (like some kind of hobby or book club), but her later hours were preventing us from signing up. I would ask if it looked like that schedule change could happen much sooner than June or July. Hopefully, DCM would just say yes, since you know what the true circumstances are.

If she said no, then I would know that she is more than happy to take full advantage of my goodwill, even though she is aware of the burden it's placing on me.

Then the choices are to continue as is, making no waves, and try not to let it bother you. Or give her notice that the additional half-hour will be with a fee. You could ask her about her job situation, but IME they usually just lie to keep the maximum amount of hours possible.

On a side note, on the FP paperwork, they want an explanation as to why any child would be in care for more than 10 hours on any day. Does that mean that on a governmental level, it is REALLY frowned upon? Maybe you could blame it on that...
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Old 03-23-2015, 09:47 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
If I knew for sure she no longer has the job I would say "Hey DCM when we agreed that you could pick up after my closing time it was because of your work schedule. Now that you are no longer working for XX company, you will need to submit a new weekly schedule that is cohesive with my business hours. If you find another job that requires a later pick up time, let me know and we can discuss options"

I don't feel that is rude at all, but rather necessary information you have every right to request in order for you to maintain a well run program.

This is a much better response. BC is right. It isn't personal, it's business, and a direct, professional approach will yield better results.
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Old 03-23-2015, 10:38 AM
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I would just ask if her work is hiring. If she could give you a contact number for human resources. That a friend of yours was asking about it. Ask if she get scoop for your friend on openings.
I've always got people asking if I know who is hiring.
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Old 03-23-2015, 11:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
What exactly makes you think she no longer has her job?

Other than her not fitting in? Has anything else happened to make you think that?

If you are SURE, I'd absolutely say something to her about it. I am a no nonsense person and if I have questions, I usually always ask. I don't have time to guess, assume or wonder so for me addressing an issue head on immediately works well for me.

If I knew for sure she no longer has the job I would say "Hey DCM when we agreed that you could pick up after my closing time it was because of your work schedule. Now that you are no longer working for XX company, you will need to submit a new weekly schedule that is cohesive with my business hours. If you find another job that requires a later pick up time, let me know and we can discuss options"

I don't feel that is rude at all, but rather necessary information you have every right to request in order for you to maintain a well run program.
She has told me several times that she wished she would quit or get fired so she could look for a job. Since she hasn't worked for about 2 and half weeks I am thinking she either quit or was let go. I am starting to think that its not so much me she doesn't want to know, I am thinking she doesn't want her ex husband to know since paying daycare is part of the child support. I think he he didn't pay daycare, I don't think he would give her the money.
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Old 03-23-2015, 11:29 AM
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Originally Posted by laundrymom View Post
I would just ask if her work is hiring. If she could give you a contact number for human resources. That a friend of yours was asking about it. Ask if she get scoop for your friend on openings.
I've always got people asking if I know who is hiring.
Thanks a great idea!
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  #12  
Old 03-23-2015, 11:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by laundrymom View Post
I would just ask if her work is hiring. If she could give you a contact number for human resources. That a friend of yours was asking about it. Ask if she get scoop for your friend on openings.
I've always got people asking if I know who is hiring.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cara041083 View Post
Thanks a great idea!
But then what?

Call the Human Resources department and verify if she is or isn't employed there?

This will still leave you having to say something to her if she isn't employed there....so I am not seeing how this helps?

As a business owner, I see this as a responsibility to straight up ask a client if you have questions about something that directly affects your business.



edited to add:

I am kind of perplexed by the fact that we (general we) as providers get upset if we think parents are lying to us or embellishing/with holding details but think nothing of doing the same to a parent when we want info or some other type of change.
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Old 03-23-2015, 11:52 AM
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I wouldn't be lying. I always know people looking and have people ask me every week if I know anyone. I guess they figure that with the amount of people I see each day I might have inside scoop. I'd just ask her if they were. Give her the opportunity to tell me she doesn't know because she's no longer there.
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Old 03-23-2015, 11:56 AM
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I would just tell her you cannot do any later than 5:30. Just say that you need the extra time for personal reasons and hope she can figure out how to accomodate that. If she is picking up at 5:45 now, she can be 15 minutes earlier and make it work. Keep it simple. No explanation, just "I can no longer work past 5:30."
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Old 03-23-2015, 01:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
But then what?

Call the Human Resources department and verify if she is or isn't employed there?

This will still leave you having to say something to her if she isn't employed there....so I am not seeing how this helps?

As a business owner, I see this as a responsibility to straight up ask a client if you have questions about something that directly affects your business.



edited to add:

I am kind of perplexed by the fact that we (general we) as providers get upset if we think parents are lying to us or embellishing/with holding details but think nothing of doing the same to a parent when we want info or some other type of change.
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