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Old 04-13-2015, 08:29 AM
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Bohrc Bohrc is offline
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Default Help With Aggressive Screaming Child

I am in my first year as a licensed daycare provider. I helped a few people out with baby sitting and one little girl full time daycare before this, have been around my nieces and nephews and have a 3yo of my own. I started this out with a great attitude, I had visions and daily schedules and fun activities planned. I only have 4 enrolled children and my own child. I have the little girl I had full time before(2y), an infant (8mo), an after school kid (6y) and one other little girl(3y)...The 3ydcg is a nightmare, I've had her since the beginning of Nov and even brought in a behavioral specialist in Dec and Jan. I have had meetings with her mother, the specialist and I wrote up a plan of action that included things her mother should be working with her on at home as well. I told her mother in Jan if things did not improve she was out at the end of Feb as I know things take time to change. By Feb 1 she was seriously a totally different child, well behaved, no screaming, no hitting/scratching/biting/pinching/kicking etc all the things she did non-stop before. She knew to use her "indoor" voice and was very sweet and helpful and played nicely with the other children we were finally able to do all the fun things I envisioned. Her mother took her on vacation about a month ago for a week. Since she has returned she is back to her old ways, not as intense, she isn't doing it from the moment she walks in and all day long but it is still unpleasant. Her mother no longer makes her leave right away but rather back to taking 30-45 minutes to get her out of here while she has screaming fits or runs and jumps on the couch with her dirty shoes on. I do have a no couch rule. Her mother never says anything and I usually have to intervene and more or less tell them to get out. She is the 2nd kid to arrive at 6:30am and doesn't get picked up until 3:30-3:45 and sometimes doesn't leave until 4:15 or later. My last kid gets picked up at 4:45 so that doesn't leave any time for anyone to have any fun. I have tried adding other children but between her behaviors and the other kids I get are often just like her I end up letting the others go. I try to stick to a schedule but it's impossible with her having meltdowns every 2-5 minutes, we can not get anything done. I just don't know what to do anymore. On top of that I found out her mother is telling her work the reason she misses so many days is because I shut down so often! This girl is here almost every single day and I do require parents to have back up care, and have only shut down 5 1/2 days that were not pre-scheduled closed days, 3 for illness and 2 1/2 for family death. She is also behind almost $200. I just want to let her go. But like I said the other kids I've tried bringing in are no better! I'm so stressed I just want to close my doors and be done with this. Someone please give me advice on this child and maybe how to keep a structured fun environment when it doesn't seem possible!!!
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Old 04-13-2015, 11:18 AM
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Shell Shell is offline
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Why stress?! If you can term the family, do it and make it easier on yourself.

How can the other kids have any fun with a child behaving this way?!

I put up with similar behaviors in a center because I had to, but in my own home, no way!

If you have to keep her , get tough with dcm again. It appears she regressed after being home/vacation, but has the capacity to behave appropriately, since she did a full turn around the last time.

I've given myself permission (and with encouragement on the forum) to let go of a family if it's making me miserable in any way, and you can too!
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Old 04-13-2015, 11:31 AM
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Heidi Heidi is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shell View Post
Why stress?! If you can term the family, do it and make it easier on yourself.

How can the other kids have any fun with a child behaving this way?!

I put up with similar behaviors in a center because I had to, but in my own home, no way!

If you have to keep her , get tough with dcm again. It appears she regressed after being home/vacation, but has the capacity to behave appropriately, since she did a full turn around the last time.

I've given myself permission (and with encouragement on the forum) to let go of a family if it's making me miserable in any way, and you can too!


IMO, you've already stuck it out way too long.


Most of us who've been in the business for a long time see it as a bit of a plague. Honestly, there are so many parents that don't set boundaries for their children any more. In the first 10 years I did daycare, I rarely termed a kid, and only once for behavior. Then, I took a 10 year break. Since I came back 4 years ago, I've termed a family of 4, plus 1 or 2 others.
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Old 04-13-2015, 04:12 PM
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nannyde nannyde is offline
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Her mom likes the behavior. She enjoys watching her go crazy at your house. She wishes she could go into public and act like an animal, have an audience, and have NOTHING happen. She likes having a free forty five minutes at the end of the day where her kid gets to have a blast, where someone else has to clean it up, and the child has a captive audience who she can FORCE to watch.

This won't stop because the mom is highly benefiting from it.

Time to have her take the dog and pony show to someone else's stage.
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Old 04-13-2015, 04:36 PM
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Ariana Ariana is offline
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Yep the mom doesn't care about this behaviour at all. She drops her off so early because she doesn't want to hang out with her own kid. She picks up late, again because she doesn't want to hang out with her kid. As long as the kid is someone else's issue she's all good. I mean you don't want to hang out with this kid either!! Maybe bring up the subject again with mom and give a timeline until terming?

I dealt with a child like this for 2 weeks. Luckily I give myself a 6 week trial period. I knew this child was going to be crazy and would never improve because of the way mom and dad acted. Agree with Heidi 100% that kids nowadays have zero discipline and parents never want to see their kids cry. I have had one little boy since January and I've been trying to get another but it is next to impossible to find normal children. You are not alone
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