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Old 07-27-2016, 02:58 AM
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citloml citloml is offline
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Default Dealing with Daycare Change; Change Again??

Hello parents and caregivers,

Evan is 16 months, and we just had to leave his most amazing in-home daycare because of a long distance move. I had a difficult time finding a new daycare in the new location on short notice. While I don't feel that he is unsafe in the place we have him, I just don't get the right vibe - I feel like they do not provide enough individual attention, that he is just on his own to "fend for himself" in a more chaotic environment than he is used to, and he is having a hard time adjusting. When I come for pick up, I see other young toddlers crying and not being immediately tended to. The two caregivers are always carefully supervising, but don't seem to interact or play with the kids beyond feeding or other direct care needs.

Were we just spoiled before by the amazingness of his previous caregivers? He received tons of individualized attention with lots of adult interaction, and play with others his age was fostered and moderated by the adults. Some lightly structured time for dancing, singing, reading was incorporated into each day.

I am reluctant to switch him AGAIN after he just dealt with two huge transitions in the last month, and a baby sister that is going to arrive any day now and really turn his world upside down. BUT, I just don't like this place long term. Again, I'm not worried for his immediate health and safety, but I don't feel as good as I should about leaving him there each day. I really can't imagine leaving he new baby there in a couple months either. Am I just being paranoid?

The limited availability of in-home care around here means I won't be able to switch him for at least a few more weeks anyway - will this be asking too much of him to have him go through another big change soon?? We cannot afford a nanny or larger center based daycare (no openings anyway).

Any help, thoughts, advice, or follow-up questions are greatly appreciated.
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Old 07-27-2016, 05:11 AM
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Well I will start by saying that in group care, individual attention can be somewhat limited just due to the fact it is group care.

The crying toddlers could be several things. Perhaps they are not getting the attention they need, or there could be a couple that are going to cry no matter what, some kiddos are like that. Hard to say which.

There are also different types of providers. Some are very hands on with the kids, plan tons of activities, give tons of individual attention (as much as possible in group care). Other providers have more of a "go play toys" approach. And neither approach is wrong exactly, it is more about what you choose as a parent.

I would start by talking to my provider about my concerns first off, but don't be accusing, go in with an open mind. But while doing that I would keep in mind that if you want your child to have full undivided attention, you will need a nanny. If you and this provider are not a good fit, then it will be time to look for another provider. Not being a good fit happens, and sometimes you don't know until you start.
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Old 07-27-2016, 08:59 AM
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I would ask the provider

"How do you feel Evan is adjusting?"

How is the communication? Pick up/drop off times are NOT accurate representations of my day. If I am trying to speak to a parent, help a child get ready to go without crying when they leave, and supervise 5 other children, I certainly cannot be giving individual attention to anyone.

I have one toddler who scream-cries every single time a parent walks in. She's afraid, but if I give her attention, it escalates (to gain more attention). I just briefly mentioned it to each parent as they came/went so they know I am not a neglectful monster.
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Old 08-04-2016, 04:57 PM
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citloml citloml is offline
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Ooh, I had a response all types out and never sent it. Gah!

The communication is not great, and I think that's one of the reasons I'm lukewarm. She is minimally responsive to my direct questions, but it feels like pulling teeth to get much info. I appreciate the perspectives on the other crying children though.

Evan has continued to improve his attitude at both drop off and pick up, and seems to be forming a decent relationship with her and the assistant. I think it is just as ThriftyLady says - she's just more of a hands off caregiver, and I guess I would prefer something a little more interactive and at least loosely structured.

So, I guess it is currently best to keep him there - it isn't harmful to him, just not ideal. So the question now is, with the new baby coming soon and another huge life transition, when do I switch him if/when I find someone better?

Thanks for your help!
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Old 08-05-2016, 06:21 AM
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Do you have any small, privately owned centers near you? I work in one and it sounds like what you are wanting for your children. The ratio in my state for centers is lower than in home, Evan would be in a room with a ratio of 1 to 4 until 18 months and then be 1 to 6 until he is 3 years old. Our days consist of free play, outside time, circle time, and group activities (arts and crafts, singing, fingerplay etc.).

If you do switch him, I would do it asap or wait until he can adjust to baby. He is probably going to have some issues when the new baby comes either way, so I wouldn't try switching him right around that time.
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Old 08-05-2016, 04:31 PM
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I agree that a smaller center would be the ultimate ideal, but Although there are some, they are so much more expensive (too much for us). I think we going to have to wait a few months before we are able to make any changes for him.
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