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  #1  
Old 10-06-2016, 08:14 AM
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I was in school waiting on my kid earlier in the week and saw J, the 1 year old's teacher pinch a little girl on the toe, hard. I gasped in shock and teacher did it again. With my gasp and jaw dropped. She told the little girl she was "naughty for always creating work for her". The little girl is the daughter of another teacher, S so J said that "it's okay, her mom and I are friends".

Maybe so, but I'm pretty sure S has no idea that J is pinching her kid. I'm also sure that is in violation of the school's protocol.

Since I was the only other adult in the room, I'm nervous about saying anything because I don't want her to retaliate on my kid...but I also don't want her being physical with other people's kids.

How do you handle this? I'd like to do this as anonymously as possible, if possible.
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  #2  
Old 10-06-2016, 08:21 AM
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I was in school waiting on my kid earlier in the week and saw J, the 1 year old's teacher pinch a little girl on the toe, hard. I gasped in shock and teacher did it again. With my gasp and jaw dropped. She told the little girl she was "naughty for always creating work for her". The little girl is the daughter of another teacher, S so J said that "it's okay, her mom and I are friends".

Maybe so, but I'm pretty sure S has no idea that J is pinching her kid. I'm also sure that is in violation of the school's protocol.

Since I was the only other adult in the room, I'm nervous about saying anything because I don't want her to retaliate on my kid...but I also don't want her being physical with other people's kids.

How do you handle this? I'd like to do this as anonymously as possible, if possible.
My need for anonymity is the last thing I'd be concerned about when being a voice for a child that is being physically abused.

I don't care what the teacher's relationship is with the child's mother and as for retaliation against your child? I'd make sure this teacher knows that if I witness or even suspect she is physically harming another child I would call the police immediately!!
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Old 10-06-2016, 08:27 AM
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Listen to BC. She's a ninja for children's rights and safety.
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My need for anonymity is the last thing I'd be concerned about when being a voice for a child that is being physically abused.

I don't care what the teacher's relationship is with the child's mother and as for retaliation against your child? I'd make sure this teacher knows that if I witness or even suspect she is physically harming another child I would call the police immediately!!
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Old 10-06-2016, 08:39 AM
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My need for anonymity is the last thing I'd be concerned about when being a voice for a child that is being physically abused.

I don't care what the teacher's relationship is with the child's mother and as for retaliation against your child? I'd make sure this teacher knows that if I witness or even suspect she is physically harming another child I would call the police immediately!!
So then how do you approach this? Because I wanted to leave a voicemail for the director or send her an email. I can't lie and say I'm comfortable telling her face to face. Which is odd because I didn't do anything wrong (
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Old 10-06-2016, 09:32 AM
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So then how do you approach this? Because I wanted to leave a voicemail for the director or send her an email. I can't lie and say I'm comfortable telling her face to face. Which is odd because I didn't do anything wrong (
I would tell the director exactly what you saw and I'd mention fear of retaliation. Let her/him (the director) know that regardless of the relationship between a child/student and the child's parent pinching is NOT okay.

I would schedule a private meeting with the director. I highly doubt she/he would share anything told to her in private as confidentiality in the world or early childhood is expected and commonplace.

I am sure the director is not going to out right say "So and so came and told me X" I would think the normal protocol would be to not leave the teacher alone with small kids, transfer her to a different room so that the kids she is in charge of can speak or perhaps reviewing video footage of the incident (if your center has cameras) or maybe even just observing her for future incidences.

I don't know...I can't say for sure what will or won't happen or even what your centers standard procedure is for this type of thing but this whole thing breaks my heart...

Imagine if this teacher feels so comfortable pinching a defenseless baby simply because she has a personal relationship with the child's mother then what do you think she might do when she has no connection to a child and knows no one is watching??

I personally would speak up to not only the teacher herself, but I'd tell the mom, your director and I'd make darn sure that is anyone tried to retaliate for my whistleblowing, I'd go straight to licensing too!

Im sorry you are in this position but good for you for standing up for this poor baby!
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Old 10-06-2016, 09:37 AM
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So then how do you approach this? Because I wanted to leave a voicemail for the director or send her an email. I can't lie and say I'm comfortable telling her face to face. Which is odd because I didn't do anything wrong (
I would call up their like an adult and tell the director what happened and let them handle the rest. If you are concerned for your child's safety or that she might retaliate then I wouldn't keep my child at that school anyway (it sounds like you don't trust her). Tell the director you want to remain anonymous unless necessary but please keep in mind if this was your child that got hurt and someone else saw it how would you feel if they were more concerned with being anonymous than your child's safety.
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Old 10-06-2016, 09:40 AM
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I would call up their like an adult and tell the director what happened and let them handle the rest. If you are concerned for your child's safety or that she might retaliate then I wouldn't keep my child at that school anyway (it sounds like you don't trust her). Tell the director you want to remain anonymous unless necessary but please keep in mind if this was your child that got hurt and someone else saw it how would you feel if they were more concerned with being anonymous than your child's safety.
Oh, I missed that OP isn't an worker in the school....

If that is the case my apologies for mis-reading but my advice doesn't change although it may change "how" you approach telling the director....

Either way, I'd DEFINITELY still tell....
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Old 10-06-2016, 09:48 AM
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I would tell the director exactly what you saw and I'd mention fear of retaliation. Let her/him (the director) know that regardless of the relationship between a child/student and the child's parent pinching is NOT okay.

I would schedule a private meeting with the director. I highly doubt she/he would share anything told to her in private as confidentiality in the world or early childhood is expected and commonplace.

I am sure the director is not going to out right say "So and so came and told me X" I would think the normal protocol would be to not leave the teacher alone with small kids, transfer her to a different room so that the kids she is in charge of can speak or perhaps reviewing video footage of the incident (if your center has cameras) or maybe even just observing her for future incidences.

I don't know...I can't say for sure what will or won't happen or even what your centers standard procedure is for this type of thing but this whole thing breaks my heart...

Imagine if this teacher feels so comfortable pinching a defenseless baby simply because she has a personal relationship with the child's mother then what do you think she might do when she has no connection to a child and knows no one is watching??

I personally would speak up to not only the teacher herself, but I'd tell the mom, your director and I'd make darn sure that is anyone tried to retaliate for my whistleblowing, I'd go straight to licensing too!

Im sorry you are in this position but good for you for standing up for this poor baby!
Ok, I like this private meeting with the director idea. I do know that the schools have cameras that live stream out to the parents (via subscription) and it's easily provable. My main fear is why a teacher would feel so comfortable pinching a kid at all. At the end of the day, she's at work. God only knows what she does to other kids!

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Originally Posted by TXhomedaycare View Post
I would call up their like an adult and tell the director what happened and let them handle the rest. If you are concerned for your child's safety or that she might retaliate then I wouldn't keep my child at that school anyway (it sounds like you don't trust her). Tell the director you want to remain anonymous unless necessary but please keep in mind if this was your child that got hurt and someone else saw it how would you feel if they were more concerned with being anonymous than your child's safety.
I'm not more concerned with being anonymous than the kid's safety. I'd prefer to remain anonymous because let's be honest, not everyone is comfortable with confrontation. It just is a fact of life -- not a testament to adulthood.
If I can be anonymous AND report what happened, that'd be ideal.
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  #9  
Old 10-06-2016, 10:20 AM
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Can I ask, was the provider aware you were in the room? Or able to see?
Her brazen disregard for appropriate conduct would have me shouting from the rooftops.
I get that they are friends. But a one yr old? Being physically harmed because of behavior? In full view of a parent without remorse? Oh no. Not acceptable. What does she do when no one is looking?

Speak with the director. Ask for a meeting with her and teacher. I understand that it will be uncomfortable but the teacher is bullying. Let me ask this..
If it were a five year old child with down syndrome would you let it slide? How about a 16 yr old blind child with CP?
How about an 88 yr old grandma?
I'm betting not.
At the least this teacher needs trained on appropriate responses and reprimanded. Possibly put on probation. Never is it ok to pinch a child. I wonder what the teachers response would be had licensing saw?
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  #10  
Old 10-06-2016, 10:30 AM
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Can I ask, was the provider aware you were in the room? Or able to see?
Her brazen disregard for appropriate conduct would have me shouting from the rooftops.
I get that they are friends. But a one yr old? Being physically harmed because of behavior? In full view of a parent without remorse? Oh no. Not acceptable. What does she do when no one is looking?

Speak with the director. Ask for a meeting with her and teacher. I understand that it will be uncomfortable but the teacher is bullying. Let me ask this..
If it were a five year old child with down syndrome would you let it slide? How about a 16 yr old blind child with CP?
How about an 88 yr old grandma?
I'm betting not.
At the least this teacher needs trained on appropriate responses and reprimanded. Possibly put on probation. Never is it ok to pinch a child. I wonder what the teachers response would be had licensing saw?
Yes, because I gasped when she did it the first time. Then I gasped again when she did it again and the girl started crying. I kept saying 'oh no, oh no, oh no' because I was in shock and didn't know what else to say/do.

To be clear: my post asked the best way to report it. I have no intention of letting anything slide. Hence the post.
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  #11  
Old 10-06-2016, 10:39 AM
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I would ask for a meeting then with director and teacher. YOU deserve to know exactly what they plan on doing to insure this doesn't happen again.
I can't even begin to imagine your anger. I mean, I have accidentally hurt kids before. Knocking into them or dropping things. And I felt so horrid. But to purposely pinch a child? Ugh.
Please let us know how this goes.
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Yes, because I gasped when she did it the first time. Then I gasped again when she did it again and the girl started crying. I kept saying 'oh no, oh no, oh no' because I was in shock and didn't know what else to say/do.

To be clear: my post asked the best way to report it. I have no intention of letting anything slide. Hence the post.
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  #12  
Old 10-06-2016, 11:12 AM
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If she is that comfortable doing it in front of you twice, I'm thinking this is not the first time this has happened, nor likely the last.
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  #13  
Old 10-06-2016, 07:19 PM
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If she is that comfortable doing it in front of you twice, I'm thinking this is not the first time this has happened, nor likely the last.
I was thinking the same thing. I would see the director in person and tell what happened and your fears because of it.
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  #14  
Old 10-07-2016, 06:44 AM
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Thanks everyone, I am going to speak with her today.

I appreciate the support )
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Old 10-07-2016, 08:00 AM
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Thanks everyone, I am going to speak with her today.

I appreciate the support )
Please come back and update after you talk with her.

I am genuinely curious as to how this plays out...

Again, good for for you for being a voice for a child that cannot speak up on their own!
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Old 10-07-2016, 10:13 AM
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Unbelievable. She did it 2x right in front of you and caused her to cry? Yikes. She needs a different job.
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Old 10-07-2016, 06:55 PM
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Yikes! Hope you were able to speak with the director today. When I was a director and had a parent complain that a teacher called her son a name I immediately placed the teacher on leave pending investigation. She was later fired.

Turned out she had a very different personality when I was there than when I wasn't, and there were a few of my teachers that knew! Horrible! I felt horrible that they didn't come to me with this info. Someone needs to speak up because who knows what else people have seen. Sooooo glad you're speaking up.
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Old 10-08-2016, 06:15 AM
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Yikes! Hope you were able to speak with the director today. When I was a director and had a parent complain that a teacher called her son a name I immediately placed the teacher on leave pending investigation. She was later fired.

Turned out she had a very different personality when I was there than when I wasn't, and there were a few of my teachers that knew! Horrible! I felt horrible that they didn't come to me with this info. Someone needs to speak up because who knows what else people have seen. Sooooo glad you're speaking up.
Happens a lot at many work places. A worker sees a coworker doing something wrong, and for most, it's a tough choice whether or not to say something, so it stays secret for a long time. When it involves kids though, or anything that hurts others, someone needs to speak up.
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Old 10-20-2016, 06:49 AM
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Update: So, it's been a couple of weeks now since I reported the teacher to the director. I told her over the phone and even sent her something in writing for her files. The teacher is still there, everyday and DH told me last night that the little girl that was pinched is still in the classroom with the offending teacher.

I'm so heartbroken by this, I don't know what to do. I live in NY so I'm not sure what protocol is but I was hoping there'd be some sort of positive note to respond to on this. There are only 2 childcare centers in our village (the other is for Pre-K but my DD is too young) so I have no other options aside from paying more and driving to another village's daycare.
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Old 10-20-2016, 07:21 AM
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Update: So, it's been a couple of weeks now since I reported the teacher to the director. I told her over the phone and even sent her something in writing for her files. The teacher is still there, everyday and DH told me last night that the little girl that was pinched is still in the classroom with the offending teacher.

I'm so heartbroken by this, I don't know what to do. I live in NY so I'm not sure what protocol is but I was hoping there'd be some sort of positive note to respond to on this. There are only 2 childcare centers in our village (the other is for Pre-K but my DD is too young) so I have no other options aside from paying more and driving to another village's daycare.
You can report this to your state's licensing entity.
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Old 10-20-2016, 07:35 AM
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You can report this to your state's licensing entity.


http://www.daycare.com/newyork/
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  #22  
Old 10-20-2016, 10:16 AM
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Thank you
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  #23  
Old 10-20-2016, 10:37 AM
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Update: So, it's been a couple of weeks now since I reported the teacher to the director. I told her over the phone and even sent her something in writing for her files. The teacher is still there, everyday and DH told me last night that the little girl that was pinched is still in the classroom with the offending teacher.

I'm so heartbroken by this, I don't know what to do. I live in NY so I'm not sure what protocol is but I was hoping there'd be some sort of positive note to respond to on this. There are only 2 childcare centers in our village (the other is for Pre-K but my DD is too young) so I have no other options aside from paying more and driving to another village's daycare.
I am in NY- if you would like to PM me, I would be happy to look up the specific center's licensing agent and get you that contact information.

I am assuming the director just pushed this under the rug. Not even a suspension, supervision, or room change? Doesn't sound like they did anything. Abuse is a very serious issue and if the director overlooked this, what else is she aware of and allowing? Can you find a home daycare in your area for your child? I don't think I would feel comfortable leaving my child enrolled under this director.

We are moving and the small town only has one center- it has horrible reviews. The home day cares in the area are all 4-5 star reviews.
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Old 10-20-2016, 10:41 AM
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I know this is for something completely different, but I still think it applies; If you see something, say something!
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  #25  
Old 10-20-2016, 12:04 PM
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Update: So, it's been a couple of weeks now since I reported the teacher to the director. I told her over the phone and even sent her something in writing for her files. The teacher is still there, everyday and DH told me last night that the little girl that was pinched is still in the classroom with the offending teacher.

I'm so heartbroken by this, I don't know what to do. I live in NY so I'm not sure what protocol is but I was hoping there'd be some sort of positive note to respond to on this. There are only 2 childcare centers in our village (the other is for Pre-K but my DD is too young) so I have no other options aside from paying more and driving to another village's daycare.
I live in the south and this is common even here. When I worked at 2 daycare centers I reported similar things, citing that other staff members had witnessed it to and would be willing to come and discuss it if necessary, but those women were never suspended, fired, etc. They knew where to go to pinch/hand spank where the cameras wouldn't see them and no one did anything. It still shocks me to think about.
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Old 10-21-2016, 10:18 AM
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Update: So, it's been a couple of weeks now since I reported the teacher to the director. I told her over the phone and even sent her something in writing for her files. The teacher is still there, everyday and DH told me last night that the little girl that was pinched is still in the classroom with the offending teacher.

I'm so heartbroken by this, I don't know what to do. I live in NY so I'm not sure what protocol is but I was hoping there'd be some sort of positive note to respond to on this. There are only 2 childcare centers in our village (the other is for Pre-K but my DD is too young) so I have no other options aside from paying more and driving to another village's daycare.
I hope you have a back up plan as far as daycare is concern because once you report be prepared to get termed.
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