SO Furious at DH/Partner PLZ READ

[lovemydaycare0912]

Okay so maybe I am overreacting but I am so upset right now at DH. We run the business together 50/50. I will assess late fees or late payment fees when I need to. I feel like it's always me having to do this so I occasionally ask DH to assist so I don't look like the bad guy for enforcing OUR policies.

EVERY SINGLE FREAKING TIME (maybe like 3 times recently) I ask DH to take charge of telling parent about the fee, he caves and doesn't assess it and says don't worry about it. NOW I look like the bad guy because I almost always assess it.

CURRENT SITUATION: I believe dcm is lying about working and she gets state assistance. I haven't been able to prove yet so I haven't said anything. Any who, she supposedly works in the same town I live in which isn't big which she says is 5 MINS away. She always says she'll be here in 10 minutes which ends up being longer but usually picks up right at 4pm (her time) or like 4:02 etc. I assessed a late payment fee last week because her $35 payment was late because she had to wait to get paid (Total BS I know). 2 weeks ago she was late 20 minutes and we let it go because she had been on time and hadn't been late. Today she texts at 330pm she'll be here in 10 minutes. Then at 358 said traffic blah blah. It was 412 when she got here and I ASKED DH did he want me to handle it through text or did he want to do it when she came upstairs. He said he would handle it. 10 seconds before opening the door he said we're doing late fee right, I said yes, FULL $15.

I was getting another dcg ready for dcm at the time so I wasn't near DH and DCM when talking about being late. I ask him what happened and he said he didn't charge because.... and I had to go because it seriously makes me so mad I am always the "bad guy" and my DH will be seen as more laid back, etc.

I know this is something I have to discuss with him but I needed to blow steam off without knocking him out (kidding), and this is the best way I know how.

Anywho, if you've reached this far, Bless your heart. Thanks

[Fiddlesticks]

I would be mad, too. If it is any consolation to you, I know that that would 100% be my husband and I! I think you should just start handling all of these issues yourself, and if he complains about being treated like an assistant tell him that when he starts acting like an equal partner you will treat him like one. But I know that is easier to say than to do...

[Blackcat31]

Rather than each of you taking turns "assessing" a late fee, why not set up a system of approaching it as a business policy and NOT a taking turns being the bad guy type of thing.

For example, have a pre-written form saying something like:

"Oh-Oh, it looks like you are running/paying late. Unfortunately, that means there will be some additional fees due. Please pay $_________ NO LATER than XXX, 2017.

Fees were applied for the following: _________

If fees are not paid in FULL by the above date, services may be suspended or terminated. Thank you!"


Then WHENEVER you or your DH have to apply a late fee, one of you just fills in the blanks and either hands it to the parent or puts it in the child's cubby or where ever or however you handle your written parent communication.

That way NEITHER of you are the bad guy and neither of you have to do the "dirty work" of telling the parent. Let the form tell them since it's business and business has no emotion.

[Ariana]

He is completely undermining you and your policies. Can you fire him

No but seriously I would have a serious talk with him and ask him why he can't commit to getting a late fee. Maybe there is a different way he can approach the subject? Email or text?

[lovemydaycare0912]

HI all ! Thank you so much for your feedback! I HAVE actually threatened to fire him before because I feel like I do more work for the daycare than him. I just finished a 30 min long conversation telling him if he can't step it up to let me know so he can go get a job outside the home and I can term a few kids and keep what Im comfortable with.

He really doesn't get it. I am definitely going to make a form TONIGHT for late fees and late payments and printing it on RED PAPER. But I might die if I have my husband hand it to a parent and keeps it instead lol.

Next time this dcm is late, she will be getting charged a fee. 5 minutes or 20 minutes. It isn't an everyday thing enough for me to term, yet at least.

Thanks for listening to me complain. I'm going to go get ready as I told my husband he has to make up for what he's done and he said he's taking me out. Unfortunately, it's still my money since his money is my money but it's worth the effort. lol

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Originally Posted by lovemydaycare0912

HI all ! Thank you so much for your feedback! I HAVE actually threatened to fire him before because I feel like I do more work for the daycare than him. I just finished a 30 min long conversation telling him if he can't step it up to let me know so he can go get a job outside the home and I can term a few kids and keep what Im comfortable with.

He really doesn't get it. I am definitely going to make a form TONIGHT for late fees and late payments and printing it on RED PAPER. But I might die if I have my husband hand it to a parent and keeps it instead lol.

Next time this dcm is late, she will be getting charged a fee. 5 minutes or 20 minutes. It isn't an everyday thing enough for me to term, yet at least.

Thanks for listening to me complain. I'm going to go get ready as I told my husband he has to make up for what he's done and he said he's taking me out. Unfortunately, it's still my money since his money is my money but it's worth the effort. lol

Instead of having him hand it to them I would tape it to the backpack or something. Tell him he must.

That would make me upset.

[Blackcat31]

You could always make him pay you the late fee out of his pay/pocket if he can't charge the DCP.

[CityGarden]

I like the programs that parents sign in and out on an app and it will auto bill them for the late fees ---- then no need for any conversation about it.

So far it has not been a problem, I get that parents might be a few minutes late IF I feel it is being abused then I will enforce my policy.

[debbiedoeszip]

For some people, confronting others (with extra fees) is not and will not ever be something they can do without massive anxiety. Your DH sounds like he might be one of these people. I am as well and so I don't do late fees as I'm much more comfortable in terming those I feel to be taking advantage (and I live in an area with a high demand for daycare so I can afford to term).

To be honest, I'd be really upset if my DH were pushing me to do something I'm clearly not able to do. Is there not any other way to divide the workload so that he's not required to confront clients?

[lovemydaycare0912]

I decided to write a letter with blanks me and DH could fill in and I would hand them to the parent. Just easier for me.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Originally Posted by CityGarden

I like the programs that parents sign in and out on an app and it will auto bill them for the late fees ---- then no need for any conversation about it.

So far it has not been a problem, I get that parents might be a few minutes late IF I feel it is being abused then I will enforce my policy.

I use virtuclock.com and a notice pops up after closing time that they are X minutes late and a fee of $1.00 minute is owed. I then invoice them via Minute Menu Kids for it. It works well.