Parents Need To Get It Together, Am I Right?

[Crazy Baby]

I’ve got a new daycare boy about a month ago. He is 3. His mom is a mess. She has never been on time, shows up an hour and a half late one day like it’s no big thing. She also always asks me to feed him even though I told her breakfast is at a certain time and I may not be able to feed him. I can’t deny the little guy food though. She also takes forever to leave at drop off and it’s always this huge scene. The kid is crying, pulling on her shirt, and she just keeps hanging around reading him stories, etc. About a minute after she is out the door, the crying always stops. Also, she paid me late last week and seemed annoyed that I sent her a couple of reminders. She said “oh I got distracted and forgot.” What’s up with that? I’m sure she would have a cow if her boss said that to her and she didn’t get paid. Sigh, I’m kids frustrated and needed to vent.

[Ariana]

Yeah parents will donthings you let them get away with. She will get worse before she gets better. Most parents think we are their employees.

[storybookending]

I am so thankful that all of my parents are wonderful but I take a little bit of credit in making them that way thanks to the things I have learned on this forum. Start them off being firm and they will respect you for it. Let them know that you are not their employee, they are your clients and all decisions are in your hands. They either fall in line or get the heck outta dodge. I would not allow this woman past the door. If Johnny cries for a minute it will not kill him, he will likely get over it before mom backs out of the driveway. Put out a notice to all parents that to eliminate chaos drop offs must me quick if you don't feel comfortable singling her out. If she really needs to read him a story she can do it at home or in the car in the driveway before coming in.

[CityGarden]

Some of your items can be fixed with changes in your schedule:

Prolonged drop off and pick up...

When children walk in we already have an opening activity or game set out. It could be playdough on the table, Mr. Potato Head, slime with dough cutters, a large group puzzle, water colors, etc. I find it helps parents leave more promptly if you have a routine when they arrive and they see their child get engaged right away. IF they still linger say I notice you have time to help in the morning would you like to read a story to the group?

For pick up I dismiss children from outside. All their lunches are outside so there is no need to be inside lingering.

For everything else I would enforce your policies. Charge the late fee for tuition not being paid on time, call mom for pick up if the child is hungry and it is after meal time and too far away from the next meal time, etc. I am lucky all of my parents except one very much respect my policies BUT the one family that does push them is the family that I was flexible with in the beginning and displayed room for flexibility, I do not do that anymore.

[rosieteddy]

I had a few of the same problems.I would write to the parents in an official way.I would say policies need to be ironed out after the first month of care.List when you expect them to arrive-no later then -----for breakfast,no later than 10;00am for the day ect.I would explain that its disruptive for the group otherwise.I started not letting any parents past the front foyer.Morning the children hung up their coats ,parents signed in bye-bye at door.Pick-ups were outside or in foyer.All kids would have coat on and reading books or in car seats .Parent came in short talk,sign out thenchild got up got a sticker from me and left.We called it say hello and go.I explained it to parents as least disruptive.their child didn't want to share them and just like all of us wanted to go home and chill.Be strong sometimes parents just don't get it.LOL

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by Crazy Baby

I’ve got a new daycare boy about a month ago. He is 3. His mom is a mess. She has never been on time, shows up an hour and a half late one day like it’s no big thing. She also always asks me to feed him even though I told her breakfast is at a certain time and I may not be able to feed him. I can’t deny the little guy food though. She also takes forever to leave at drop off and it’s always this huge scene. The kid is crying, pulling on her shirt, and she just keeps hanging around reading him stories, etc. About a minute after she is out the door, the crying always stops. Also, she paid me late last week and seemed annoyed that I sent her a couple of reminders. She said “oh I got distracted and forgot.” What’s up with that? I’m sure she would have a cow if her boss said that to her and she didn’t get paid. Sigh, I’m kids frustrated and needed to vent.

I know you are just venting and not necessarily asking for advice but you do see how some of these issues are being allowed (by you) so there really is no reason for mom to get it together right?

I know you can't deny the child food without feeling badly about it but you CAN deny the parent drop off if she hasn't fed HER child prior to drop off.... If she has time to read stories, she has time to feed her child before leaving her house.

In regards to late payment, I don't send reminders...I send amended invoices indicating the new amount due (late fee added) with notice of no ability to drop off without payment in full in hand. It's the rare parent that gets busy and forgets after having had to pay a late fee.

Basically this mom has figured out how to get you do alot for her, so there really is no reason for her to get it together...she has a good thing going now.
There is no reason to change it (in her mind)

[Kajada]

I think a lot of parents don't realize that long drop-offs aren't helpful, especially at the beginning. I certainly wouldn't have known that. It's tough to just leave your crying child! I still remember my mom dropping off my little brother at the sitter's and then parking around to corner to cry her eyes out because it was so hard to leave him when he was upset. He was fine after a few minutes, she knew he was fine...didn't make it any easier on her.