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  #1  
Old 12-07-2017, 03:59 PM
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Default Why Do Parents Blame Us

Why is it that so many parents blame us or other children for illness? I have a parent that brought her daughter on Tuesday. She said to one my dck's, oh how are you feeling Susie. Susie is 2 and doesn't communicate with other parents. This parent just basically was talking to make a point, not really talking to the child. So she says how are you feeling, you gave Mary (her child) your cold. I said, it's that time of year, families just got done being together for Thanksgiving, everyone is in the stores shopping where all the germs are. I was irritated then but then same mom came today and I had Susie in my arms and she was clingy today. Clearly tired and illness blamer mother came and said oh she doesn't look good. I said, she's just tired. She reached over and felt her forehead. I couldn't believe it. What gives her the right to touch another child and why is my home the only place that has germs. Drives me nuts!
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Old 12-07-2017, 08:43 PM
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No kidding!

I usually say something like "Well, then they're even because last time Mary started it" or "Well you know, eventually it'll be Mary sharing and then they'll be even"
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Old 12-08-2017, 04:25 AM
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Yup, happens here to. Drives me nuts. Couldn't possibly be that their child caught it from a family get together, the store, preschool, school. Nope must be my house!
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Old 12-08-2017, 06:16 AM
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It bothers me when parents feel the need to do that.
I mean what are they trying to accomplish anyways?

Does she want Susie to straight up say "Yep it was me"

I'd also be a bit taken back by DCM feeling it's appropriate for her to reach out and touch another child. Imagine if you said "Yeah, Susie's dad was here earlier and when he felt Mary's head he said she was really warm" I bet she'd be upset about that.

As for blaming illness on others I would turn it back around onto her and start really buying into how much others spread illness to her child and since mom is right in wanting to protect her DD, you're going to have to start calling her for pick up or telling her to stay home ANY TIME any of the other kids have a sniffle or a cough or any other symptom that could lead to a cold or other common winter illness.
Make sure to let her know that you are glad she brought this concern to your attention so you will make a point of being extra diligent about it from now on.

Mom wants to play that way, then play that way.
Just be better at it than she is.
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Old 12-08-2017, 09:41 AM
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I have never seen the point of blaming anyone else because you get sick. Everyone gets sick sometimes. Sometimes (usually) my kids get sick first and then I get sick. Is it "because of them"?

It's funny everyone wants to play the blame game. Like if you somehow trace it to the first person that was sick and blame them for the sickness going around it makes everything better?

Do your best. Wash your hands. Teach your kids to wash their hands, cover their cough/sneeze and do your best to minimize it. But the "OMG it's her fault I'm sick" game is stupid.
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Old 12-08-2017, 09:41 AM
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Also talking to children who can not talk and expecting the adult in the room to answer you is also dumb. While I am bitching.
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Old 12-08-2017, 09:59 AM
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DUUUUDEEE not cool. She would have been reprimanded for touching a kid and reminded of my STRICT illness policy. I also make sure to put it back on parents. "OH MARY IS SICK? She should go straight home so JOE doesn't catch it, too." Or even straight out saying "We are working on not licking toys, right Mary? and covering our cough?" Maybe you can work on that at home too to help prevent illness.

EVERYONE gets sick sometimes.
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Old 12-08-2017, 11:32 AM
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I always say “yeah whatever is here is going to get passed around...its daycare” with a DUH tone to my voice.

The thing is with illness is that Little Susie is contagious long before she starts exhibiting symptoms and so is everyone else. Blaming anyone is just dumb because thefe is no way to pinpoint where it came from. I was sick all of November but my own kids never got what I had so how does that work! If your immunity is low you catch stuff but if you are healthy you won’t.
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Old 12-08-2017, 12:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by happymom View Post
I have never seen the point of blaming anyone else because you get sick. Everyone gets sick sometimes. Sometimes (usually) my kids get sick first and then I get sick. Is it "because of them"?

It's funny everyone wants to play the blame game. Like if you somehow trace it to the first person that was sick and blame them for the sickness going around it makes everything better?

Do your best. Wash your hands. Teach your kids to wash their hands, cover their cough/sneeze and do your best to minimize it. But the "OMG it's her fault I'm sick" game is stupid.
This.
The only time it bothers me is when I see parents taking their sick kids to public places. One of my dck has viral pink eye and was excluded from Daycare. Dcm took him to the park every DAY until he was able to return to daycare
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Old 12-08-2017, 12:32 PM
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There's a rule of thumb that kids get sick two days after exposure. So, it might be more likely that dcg got sick from where ever she was on the weekend.

When an illness goes around the community it seems like everyone is getting the same thing. So I don't think it's reasonable to just blame one place. It could be the grocery store, older sibs, parents...
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Old 12-08-2017, 01:51 PM
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What the?

As soon as she was reaching for Susie, I would've backed up and said "that's not ok". Because it's not.

Anytime she mentions another child's wellness, I'd turn it back on her. "Is Mary sick? She needs to stay home if she's sick. Do you need to review my illness policy?"

Do what Blackcat suggested and make her responsible for her childish antics.

Last edited by Snowmom; 12-08-2017 at 01:51 PM. Reason: spaces
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  #12  
Old 12-08-2017, 02:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
It bothers me when parents feel the need to do that.
I mean what are they trying to accomplish anyways?

Does she want Susie to straight up say "Yep it was me"

I'd also be a bit taken back by DCM feeling it's appropriate for her to reach out and touch another child. Imagine if you said "Yeah, Susie's dad was here earlier and when he felt Mary's head he said she was really warm" I bet she'd be upset about that.

As for blaming illness on others I would turn it back around onto her and start really buying into how much others spread illness to her child and since mom is right in wanting to protect her DD, you're going to have to start calling her for pick up or telling her to stay home ANY TIME any of the other kids have a sniffle or a cough or any other symptom that could lead to a cold or other common winter illness.
Make sure to let her know that you are glad she brought this concern to your attention so you will make a point of being extra diligent about it from now on.

Mom wants to play that way, then play that way.
Just be better at it than she is.
Good idea. I also could have told her that yea, next week I'll probably have Johnny's mom saying that he got it from your dd. UGH! I usually say, oh you don't go to the store or the siblings school or work or anywhere else but here? Yup, guess they must have gotten it here then.
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  #13  
Old 12-08-2017, 02:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Snowmom View Post
What the?

As soon as she was reaching for Susie, I would've backed up and said "that's not ok". Because it's not.

Anytime she mentions another child's wellness, I'd turn it back on her. "Is Mary sick? She needs to stay home if she's sick. Do you need to review my illness policy?"

Do what Blackcat suggested and make her responsible for her childish antics.
I was so surprised that she did it that I couldn't act that fast. I've never had in 17 years another parent do that. Completely out of line. I'm ready if she tries it again though.
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  #14  
Old 12-08-2017, 03:12 PM
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The second she touched Susie, she gets the role of daycare kid instead of daycare mom. I would limit her contact with the other kids and just give her her kid right at the door if she shows any concern. Make her have some responsibility because this borderlines on a trust issue between her and you. Next time she complains, just send her kid home so she can take her kid to work and bear the burden of what it is like to have a "sick" kid at work.
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Old 12-09-2017, 02:30 AM
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Oh dcm, I guess you forgot to wrap Mary in her bubble suit this a.m. I see.
It's ridiculous. People get sick. Kids get sick. Germs are everywhere. Deal.
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Old 12-09-2017, 05:09 AM
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Guess what happened? I now have it. My husband had it all last week too, but I can't wait to see her Tuesday because I'm going to tell her that I got it from her daughter hahahaha
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Old 12-09-2017, 10:49 AM
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Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo View Post
Guess what happened? I now have it. My husband had it all last week too, but I can't wait to see her Tuesday because I'm going to tell her that I got it from her daughter hahahaha
Sure you're not teething or have allergies? That's another pet peeve of mine.
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Old 12-10-2017, 11:06 AM
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Originally Posted by Josiegirl View Post
Sure you're not teething or have allergies? That's another pet peeve of mine.
LMAO! I"m going to say that too! Good one. Yea if someone comments on another child, that's what I'm going to say hahaha!

So today I have the cough still and have lost my voice! Great!
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Old 12-11-2017, 03:47 AM
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Originally Posted by Josiegirl View Post
Sure you're not teething or have allergies? That's another pet peeve of mine.
That one ugh! Parents always try that.
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