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  #1  
Old 12-13-2017, 09:06 AM
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Default Termination Notice

I have never had to terminate a child from my care before, but I feel it is necessary. I have had this child in my care for 2 1/2 yrs. but I can no longer tolerate her behavior. And I feel that she is a bad influence on my younger DC children. I've had more than one parent comment & ask questions about her.
The biggest problem is that her parent's & grandparent's are friend's with my family. I can only imagine the grief I'll receive.
Do I just hang in there until next fall when the child will be entering Kindergarten, or terminate now?😫
Help!!😫😫
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  #2  
Old 12-13-2017, 09:18 AM
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Originally Posted by Justjoy View Post
I have never had to terminate a child from my care before, but I feel it is necessary. I have had this child in my care for 2 1/2 yrs. but I can no longer tolerate her behavior. And I feel that she is a bad influence on my younger DC children. I've had more than one parent comment & ask questions about her.
The biggest problem is that her parent's & grandparent's are friend's with my family. I can only imagine the grief I'll receive.
Do I just hang in there until next fall when the child will be entering Kindergarten, or terminate now?😫
Help!!😫😫
Term now.

NOT fair to you or the other kids that a friendship means you are required to put up with bad behavior.

I wouldn't spell it out (reasons why you are terming) but I'd certainly say she has outgrown your environment or that you are simply unable to provide what she needs.

If the parents are aware that you have been having these issues (on any level) being termed shouldn't be surprising.
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Old 12-13-2017, 10:21 AM
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Thanks Black Cat!
The parent's are aware as this has been an ongoing thing, and they have been told of her behavior almost daily. Last Friday was my breaking point. I told her it was time for nap ( as at the age of almost 5 she still takes one and dad insists). She proceeded to throw herself on the floor, screaming..."you hurt me, you hurt me!" I was on the phone with her dad within minutes and told him what occurred and that I will not be able to continue care for her unless her behavior changes drastically. Which we know it will not. I also told him I cannot risk the other children in my care to witness these scenes.
From what I have heard, she has been terminated from daycare before...
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Old 12-13-2017, 10:25 AM
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Just wanted to add that word is she's been terminated from daycare before. I am dad's last hope. It was evident last Friday at pickup.
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  #5  
Old 12-13-2017, 10:26 AM
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Thanks Black Cat!
The parent's are aware as this has been an ongoing thing, and they have been told of her behavior almost daily. Last Friday was my breaking point. I told her it was time for nap ( as at the age of almost 5 she still takes one and dad insists). She proceeded to throw herself on the floor, screaming..."you hurt me, you hurt me!" I was on the phone with her dad within minutes and told him what occurred and that I will not be able to continue care for her unless her behavior changes drastically. Which we know it will not. I also told him I cannot risk the other children in my care to witness these scenes.
From what I have heard, she has been terminated from daycare before...
I despise when kids do that. It creates an environment that is never healthy. Child learns those types of statements get a reaction.....providers learn to bail immediately whenever that happens.

No one has the time or money to discredit that type of thing so providers just learn that phrase is code for "term".

Sad, I know but there is too much at stake (for you) to have to put up with it. 9 out 10 times the behavior of the child is rooted in parenting style. Parent's can deal with the fall out of their actions (or lack of actions) and leave the provider out of it.

I'm sorry it's come to this for you and this family but good for you for being concerned and one step ahead!
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  #6  
Old 12-13-2017, 10:43 AM
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Originally Posted by Justjoy View Post
Thanks Black Cat!
The parent's are aware as this has been an ongoing thing, and they have been told of her behavior almost daily. Last Friday was my breaking point. I told her it was time for nap ( as at the age of almost 5 she still takes one and dad insists). She proceeded to throw herself on the floor, screaming..."you hurt me, you hurt me!" I was on the phone with her dad within minutes and told him what occurred and that I will not be able to continue care for her unless her behavior changes drastically. Which we know it will not. I also told him I cannot risk the other children in my care to witness these scenes.
From what I have heard, she has been terminated from daycare before...
I have terminated a kid like this before.
Dad was trying to be his son's best friend and at 3 years old he ran his dad. Each day for naps would be some type of struggle or fight with him. I only dealt with it for 3 weeks. I then found out he had been terminated from like 4 other daycares. Dad was stuck driving an hour each way to a relatives because his behavior was so bad. He would hit kids and dad rewarded his behavior with special treats. It is the parents responsibility to get their kids behavior in check, not ours!
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Old 12-13-2017, 11:04 AM
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You need to let her go.

At almost 5, a center, with more staff, peers her age/older who won't put up with it, etc. might actually help her.
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  #8  
Old 12-13-2017, 12:33 PM
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The thing that really got to me was when dad came for pickup the night of the latest incident and said to his daughter " What did you do this time sh*t head?" And this was in front of a 2 1/2 yr old & an18 month old in my care, standing in front of me, freaking out as the kid was screaming & crying!
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Old 12-13-2017, 01:07 PM
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I'd be concerned about Dad's behavior also. I would believe that is where her aggression is coming from, she's probably witnessing something and has no other way to verbalize it. Have you notice any other problems with the parents acting like that towards her? Sarcasm can be a great indicator of actions.
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  #10  
Old 12-14-2017, 02:58 AM
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I hope you have the behaviors documented. The child may need early intervention. Unfortunately behavioral issues take up much time in centers. I have had older children even arreated for assault at the one I am associated with only to have owner allow the child back because the family had five children (subsidized) enrolled
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Old 12-14-2017, 03:22 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Justjoy View Post
The thing that really got to me was when dad came for pickup the night of the latest incident and said to his daughter " What did you do this time sh*t head?" And this was in front of a 2 1/2 yr old & an18 month old in my care, standing in front of me, freaking out as the kid was screaming & crying!
OMG, that's never okay behavior for an adult. They're gone now, right??
He needs to look at his own behavior towards his dd if he wants to see any improvement. Poor kid. It's not your responsibility to improve that whole family's environment, just your own. Term, replace and do NOT feel guilty.
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  #12  
Old 12-14-2017, 06:03 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Justjoy View Post
The thing that really got to me was when dad came for pickup the night of the latest incident and said to his daughter " What did you do this time sh*t head?" And this was in front of a 2 1/2 yr old & an18 month old in my care, standing in front of me, freaking out as the kid was screaming & crying!
I hate it when parents talk like that in front of the kids. And then they wonder why jr. has a potty mouth. One time a 4 year old boy accidentally knocked over his milk and says really loudly “Oh! Sh*t!” When I told him we do not use words like that in my classroom he proceeded to tell me
“ my daddy says it.”
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  #13  
Old 12-14-2017, 06:47 AM
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I am dad's last hope.
That is a lot of pressure to put on yourself. You know it is not true.

Dad is a grown man completely capable of having his own daughter evaluated if needed or finding a center where his daughter is among a larger group of only children her age. Sometimes being a big fish in a small pond is not what is best for certain children. They need a little time as the small fish for a perspective change.
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  #14  
Old 12-14-2017, 07:16 AM
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I would put it on the parents.Little 'Suzie" is clearly not happy here.I would give them a few center numbers.Give notice that they should plan for her to move on Christmas week.At latest by New Years.Play up that she has aged out.Good luck.
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  #15  
Old 12-14-2017, 08:34 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Justjoy View Post
The thing that really got to me was when dad came for pickup the night of the latest incident and said to his daughter " What did you do this time sh*t head?" And this was in front of a 2 1/2 yr old & an18 month old in my care, standing in front of me, freaking out as the kid was screaming & crying!
That incident right there would have gotten an immediate termination from me; the fact she has been termed from another childcare makes it worse in my eyes
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  #16  
Old 12-14-2017, 09:55 AM
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Originally Posted by daycarediva View Post
You need to let her go.

At almost 5, a center, with more staff, peers her age/older who won't put up with it, etc. might actually help her.
From what I have heard, she was terminated from a center.
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  #17  
Old 12-14-2017, 10:01 AM
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I have my termination letter printed out and waiting. She will not be back in my care until this coming Monday. So that will be the day!
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  #18  
Old 12-14-2017, 05:09 PM
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We've got a child that was exactly like dcg and we will be talking with mom soon
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