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  #1  
Old 12-18-2017, 02:04 PM
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Default Cake For Shoes: Suddenly Losing A Life Skill

What skills do your kids suddenly regress out of when they want attention?

My 2yo who says "Hewp pease!" instead of doing things himself or trying new things. . . is very distressed because there's a piece of cake on the table but he has to slip his shoes onto his feet first.

He can do it. It's not easy for him, but he can.

But now he's got the other 2yo ("Betty") saying "Hawp pea" even though she's a pro at this. They keep putting their shoes on, then pulling them off and begging for help. They want to go outside. They want the cake. But they are in a world of misery, because they cannot put their shoes on and keep them on. I said, "Nope! I'm going to sit on my chair in the corner," which resulted in a panicked cacophony of "Hewp pease/Hawp pea"s.

Now the little guy is saying "Betty do it?" and "You cake" to her, in the hopes of persuading her to do the work for the both of them.
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Old 12-19-2017, 12:31 PM
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smart little dude!

Learned helplessness happens here every time a parent walks in the door.

Every Monday morning, we backtrack just a litttttlllleee bit.

At least the 3yo is honest "I can't WANNNNNTTT TOOOO." I can't want to, either.
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Old 12-19-2017, 12:43 PM
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Oh my gosh yes. I love it especially when the parents come through the door too. I have several kids that when they walk in the door they stand there and put one foot after the other in the air and the parents takes their shoes off, then they take their coats/hats off. I just stare and say that I'm so glad you're able to do all of that yourself when we go outside. ugh! They're 3 1/2!

My one dcb that is leaving to go to preschool/daycare next week, the mom is worried because they will eat lunch there and he can't carry a tray himself. I said, really? Come on, he'll be 4 in I think April. He can perfectly well carry a lunch tray. She does everything for him.
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Old 12-19-2017, 01:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo View Post
Oh my gosh yes. I love it especially when the parents come through the door too. I have several kids that when they walk in the door they stand there and put one foot after the other in the air and the parents takes their shoes off, then they take their coats/hats off. I just stare and say that I'm so glad you're able to do all of that yourself when we go outside. ugh! They're 3 1/2!

My one dcb that is leaving to go to preschool/daycare next week, the mom is worried because they will eat lunch there and he can't carry a tray himself. I said, really? Come on, he'll be 4 in I think April. He can perfectly well carry a lunch tray. She does everything for him.
Yep yep yep. My kid was in a Montessori school from age 1-4, so they taught her all that, and now I'm working to teach it all to another batch of kiddos. It makes me aware of the life skills I didn't teach her at an early age, which her teachers had to handle for me. I overestimated how old she'd be when she was ready for each new step in self-care.

Of course, she did fail stairs her first year. They didn't grade "stairs" the following years, but now at age five, I'd still flunk her stair capabilities. It's like the instant her foot hits the first tread, everything else in the world is more interesting than the vertical deathtrap in front of her. "Stop LOOKING BEHIND YOU and watch where you're putting your feet! No; don't LOOK UP AT ME! Where is your foot? Look where you're going!"
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Old 12-19-2017, 01:28 PM
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I have a 2 1/2 yo dcg, mom does everything for her. I honestly think if it was up to mom she would stay here and follow dcg around doing things for her all day. Dcg doesn't talk or move when mom is here. She is very verbal and talks more like a 4 year old, until mom walks in, then she is a baby. Her favorite word is help me. She can get her coat on but only after this conversation:

Me: Ok, let's put our coats on so we can go outside.

Dcg: dumb stare

Me: ok dcg get your coat off your hook.

Dcg: I can't, help me.

Me: no, you can do it yourself, remember you did it yesterday.

Dcg: takes coat off hook. And stands stating at me.

Me: good, now put your coat on.

Dcg: help me

Me: remember you lay it down on the floor, put your hands in and flip it over your head.

Dcg: lays coat down and stares at me.

Me: ok, lean over and put your hands in your sleeves.

And so it goes until we finally get it on, and start over with hat, and then gloves.

And then I swear to myself that I will go to the liquor store at nap. Lol
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Old 12-19-2017, 01:52 PM
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I blame this thread for the fact that DCK 4 has forgotten how to do every single thing by himself today.
I lost count of the number of times I've said "I'm pretty sure you know how to do that on your own."
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Old 12-19-2017, 01:54 PM
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If only it was just the dck!

I'm reading this thread, and DH is saying to me, "Okay, I'm on the bank website. I put in my login, now can you help me with my password?"

Um, I think you can look at the place we write passwords down and take it from there. I'm busy reading on daycare.com. Love you!
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Old 12-20-2017, 08:56 AM
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This is the first time in a loooong time I have two daycare kids who can do everything by themselves at 3 and 2 years old. It is such a blessing!!

My own kids??? Lawd have mercy
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Old 12-20-2017, 10:57 AM
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My dcks learn early on that I won't help them, so it's learn or stay indoors. Littles I will help, but there is a point I won't. I currently have a 12 month old trying to get her shoes on and off, and my 18 month old can mostly dress herself (socks, snowpants, coat, hat, boots, gloves). The older ones are self sufficient.

However...a parent walks in the door and suddenly the kids are utterly helpless.
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Old 01-04-2018, 11:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by racemom View Post
I have a 2 1/2 yo dcg, mom does everything for her. I honestly think if it was up to mom she would stay here and follow dcg around doing things for her all day. Dcg doesn't talk or move when mom is here. She is very verbal and talks more like a 4 year old, until mom walks in, then she is a baby. Her favorite word is help me. She can get her coat on but only after this conversation:

Me: Ok, let's put our coats on so we can go outside.

Dcg: dumb stare

Me: ok dcg get your coat off your hook.

Dcg: I can't, help me.

Me: no, you can do it yourself, remember you did it yesterday.

Dcg: takes coat off hook. And stands stating at me.

Me: good, now put your coat on.

Dcg: help me

Me: remember you lay it down on the floor, put your hands in and flip it over your head.

Dcg: lays coat down and stares at me.

Me: ok, lean over and put your hands in your sleeves.

And so it goes until we finally get it on, and start over with hat, and then gloves.

And then I swear to myself that I will go to the liquor store at nap. Lol
My daughter does this. But she knows we have very limited time in the morning and she knows I will eventually coach her through every step or do it for her because we. Have. To. Leave!

This morning. Went in the bathroom. Sat on the toilet til I told her to wipe. Wiped, stood with the tissue in her hand til I yelled for her to be done and brush her teeth. Flushed, washed hands and got her toothbrush at the speed of a 90 year old sloth. Then stood there with her hand on the faucet waiting to be told to turn it on.
Then Scary Mommy took over.

Why do they do this??
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  #11  
Old 01-05-2018, 03:46 AM
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Default Side question!!

Ugh, I have no idea why this bothers me sooo much. I have 2 3 yos and a 4 yo who do these types of things. Helpless when dcps come. Parents put their boots on, take them off, do coats, everything. Makes me crazy. We'll come in from playing outdoors and the 3 yos will get their jackets, hats and mittens off, then roll around on the floor, expecting me to finish the job. Nope. I have 2 LOs who DO need the help. After I do them, I walk away and ignore the helpless dcks. Sometimes they'll lay there for 30 minutes. But then they get into trouble. I mean, I *kind* of understand why parents do stuff for them, to get out of the house, but also, they're not learning self help skills or to listen to adults and do what's asked. The 3 yos came in pajamas yesterday morning because, even though they were up in plenty of time, dcm couldn't get them downstairs(they were too busy playing)to get them dressed. These girls do NOT listen when asked to do something. 98% of the time. They don't want to stop playing. And IF they do get up because I asked them to get ready, they always load up their arms filled with toys. Egads. Their darn toys are all sooo important. Drives me absolutely crazy.

Kind of a side question but, would it be a bad idea to give the 4 yo dcb a small treat when he helps by getting ready when asked? He's good about it when I ask him(it's just his mom dives in to do it for him). But I'm thinking if he gets a chocolate chip(or something) and the dcgs see it happening, they may fall into line too.
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