Crazy DCM Immediate Term

I'm a lurker but I had to share this. It's long but worth the read. I'm a very small legal childcare provider. I've only had 1 or 2 little ones at a time. I don't do deposits or contracts just rules and fact sheets, never had a problem in years. If I continue providing childcare, I will make a contract.

I had to term an 'all day crier' after 5 months, that left me with 1 baby. Shortly after I had a mom interested in a spot for her 2 month old. (She got my number from word of mouth.) I interviewed and immediately noticed a few red flags, the main one being she kept saying she was a single first time mom and the dad wasn't around, she wanted to pay at the end of the week, she wanted me to buy a mamaroo, she wanted my SSN, her personality seemed too pushy. It was weird but I looked over it. (I told DH she would probably drive me insane.) I gave her 2 references, told her my weekly rate, and we agreed on times. She said she wanted a trial day and a background check (hence the SSN) I said no to giving her my SSN but I would do a background check. I agreed to the trail day, which started that following week.

She showed up, talked forever about being a single mom blah blah. I noticed she only left 4 diapers, I asked and she said just slather the baby in butt paste and only change when the diaper is really full. The baby is breastfed, they poop all day! I sent my husband to buy diapers because 4 diapers wouldn't last 9 hours! I told her she needed to provide more diapers after she picked him up LATE. The next day she sent 6 diapers but no wipes and popped up 2 hours early. I had to send her a message letting her know that she HAD to pay on Monday's because I was having to purchase items she forgot at home or just doesn't provide and she needs to be on time. She brings the payment and extra diapers the next day. But she insisted on a shorter week, 3-4 days and wanted a discount because she is a single mom. Omg......

So I quoted her for 4 days and told her if she needs an extra day she'd have to pay that morning at drop off. After a week I started noticing a pattern with her, she would pick up later and later. I told her no more pick ups after 5pm. I need that time to cook, clean, take care of my 2 year old, run errands, etc. She agreed and said she should be spending more time with her baby anyway. Easy, right?! H*LL No! Lol.

Early pick up the first day, doesn't show the next, then picks up late on the third day. She doesn't apologize for being late until after I send her a very blunt message saying that if she can't abide by my rules she can't bring her baby anymore. She apologizes then says she'll let me know if she can't make it work. Ok cool?! Nope!

5 minutes after that she accidentally emails me about childcare, same single mom story. What stood out about the email is, she says she needs to get back to work and looking for someone to keep her baby. I thought she was already working?! I email her back saying I was already caring for her baby and thanks for the notice to end care. No response via text or email. Busted!

Her usual drop off time is 8:30am, 8:30 comes and goes! No texts or calls, I wait and wait. At 11:20am I hear a knock at my door. I ignore it because I don't allow late drop offs. She bangs, rings the doorbell, knocks on my windows, tries to look in. She goes to her car and comes back without the baby and bag. I was scared to open the door with my 2 year and a DCG. This lasted for almost an hour. She woke up my napping DCG and she screamed for a while. After CrazyDCM left, I got DCG settled and checked my phone. She had called me and texted me asking about picking up his milk, diapers, butt cream, and money. I gathered his belongings and heard my phone ringing. CrazyDCM had called my references saying I'm the worst blah blah blah. She totally trashed me and lied about what happened. I sent her a message reiterating my rules and that she can't harass the references because she's upset. I told her she can pick up baby's stuff at my convenience. She told me to just leave it outside, I told her I would meet her, she got really snappy and insisted that I leave it and she would be right there. Later that day, on my way out to run an errand, I left everything in a bag. I returned her money, diapers, butt cream, and milk. I told her where everything was and good luck. She had the nerve to ask me about keeping the baby the next day. I told her, I returned her money and everything else she asked for. She texts me back telling me the bag was ripped open and the money was gone. I don't really believe her... but I offered her a free day and she declined. She then continued to text me. I blocked her number because we had nothing else to talk about.. I love the babies but I don't think I want to deal with parents anymore. Lol

[Ariana]

Looks like you had an encounter with a crazy! Definitely get a contract and have a trial period where you can end care immediately without notice. So sorry this happened to you.

[storybookending]

Ah! Sounds like a total nightmare of a woman! I would have contacted the authorities after an hour of her banging on the door. Crazy!

[HappyEverAfter]

Sounds like you just got a bad one. There are tons of great ones out there, just look for those and listen when you hear your inner red flag go up during an interview. And definitely get a contract in case another crazy ever slips through!

[284878]

Do you use an EIN?

[Denali]

Never give cash back. Cashier Check. That way no “you never gave me my money back” I can provide that I did. 👍

[Blackcat31]

Sorry you had to deal with all of that.
Unfortunately I see a lot of ways that much of that could have easily been avoided. Several mis-steps on both sides.

It's understandable as to why those that care for only a couple children feel as if they don't need a contract or written policies but it's always been advised to have a written contract as well as a written set of rules between you and your client or clients if any money changes hands.

Like I said, I am sorry you had to deal with such a dramatic situation but I see fault on both sides and I definitely don't think this is all on the daycare mom. The good news however is that any time you end up dealing with something like this you learn what not to do or what you must do differently the next time.

I totally forgot I wrote this. Update, I haven't heard from DCM after she told me she really wanted to bring DCBaby back. I don't want to deal with someone who can't follow rules that they agreed to.

I do have a rule and fact sheet. She signed it and kept a copy. It's definitely not as thorough as an actual contract though. But it states everything we had issues with. Drop off and pick up times, notifying me about being late, notifying me about not showing up, changing scheduled days, etc. I have definitely learned a lesson though.

Since I don't need the extra money, I will be taking a break.