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Old 04-27-2018, 09:01 AM
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Default Baby Dropped Off With Poop

I have a daycare mom that dropped her 10 month old son off at my daycare several times last month with poop. A couple of those times at drop off, I didn't even know (due to his poop being somewhat unscented) and by the time I saw the mess right after he was dropped off, it had leaked thru his clothes and already got on my clothing! This would take so much time to clean up each morning... I'd have to clean his mess, change his clothes, bag up his dirty clothing, change my clothes and meanwhile other parents are dropping off. Total choas and would completely ruin my morning!!!

Each time, I reminded the mom about my policy and that the children need to be dropped off bathed and clean with a fresh diaper. She tells me that he is pooping on his way here so she doesn't know he has poop at drop off. I tell her that if this is the case, then she needs to check him EVERY morning when she pulls up and if he has poop, then she needs to clean his diaper in her car and then drop him off. He cannot be dropped off with poop...period. She was apologetic and agreed.

She was good for about a week or so... She would pull up and change him in her backseat of her SUV each morning. And almost every time she would tell me that he had a huge poop. A couple times I saw her out there changing his entire outfit because it had leaked. Something I obviously would be dealing with if she didn't check.

So that was good for a bit... but then this morning again he gets dropped off and I checked him right after I shut the door and he had poop that leaked. I went to see if she was outside and she was gone. I text her that he had poop again and that it had leaked and she lies and says "thats weird, I changed him in the car this morning". So not true. I heard her pull up and knock seconds later. There was no way she had just changed him. I tell her "yeah that is really weird because it was up his front and back as if he was sitting when he pooped" and remind her AGAIN how she needs to check him right before bringing him to my door and cannot be dropped off with a dirty diaper. She tells me "I will be sure to do that for now on".

This is so frustrating to me. I'm wondering if I should consider terminating care with them if this continues? I've never terminated care for a child because they get dropped off repeatedly with a dirty diaper. I've just never had a daycare parent do this before. But when I have repeatedly reminded her of my policy and she continues to break this rule, it is really frustrating. I'm not sure what else to do. Should I threaten termination? Or just do it? Or let it go? See if it continues to happen?

By the way, this mom is young (22 years old) - which to me is not an excuse. I was a young mom too back in the day (younger at 18) and I would never disrespect my daycare provider in this way. She has lied to me about little things repeatedly and has shown to be very lazy. She brings him some days where he'd smell like he hadn't been bathed in days and his hair is always knotted yet she never tries to fix it. I'll change his diaper right after drop off (to be sure it's clean) and he'd have poop stuck to his balls that she "missed" and his onesies all have poop marks on them which I cant tell are stains or just not washed. I find myself excusing her at times due to her young age, but its just not okay. I'm just at a loss as to what to do at this point.
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Old 04-27-2018, 09:16 AM
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Have her physically check the baby's diaper right in front of you BEFORE she leaves at drop off. Simple yet effective.

Parents behave in whatever manner you allow them to.
You can't get upset with this mom for repeatedly breaking rules/policies if you aren't enforcing them or actually having a consequence for it. Simply reminding her or texting her is just that...reminding.

Dr Phil says people don't change their behavior until it becomes an issue for them and right now the only person having an issue with this is you.

So you need to figure out a way to make this mom's issue.

Honestly, there are some kids that poop on the way to care. If that is the case, I just have the parent check the child upon drop off, if the child is soiled I give the parent a diaper, wipes and access to the changing area and let them do their thing. It's not like the parent is teaching their child to poop on the car ride over.

If this mom lies to you frequently then I think that's a whole 'nother issue and one I wouldn't personally tolerate but I'm pretty blunt and usually call parents out on things like that and rarely let it get too out of hand.

Terming or not terming...again, that is really something only you can decide. If you don't think things will improve and the situation is more than you can manage then I'd term but if you think this mom is able to get her ducks in a row and learn moving forward then enforce your consequences for breaking policies and hope for the best.

New parents, both young and older struggle with parenting from time to time so I agree with you that being young shouldn't be an excuse for her.
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Old 04-27-2018, 09:22 AM
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I would probably offer the use of my changing table. Dcm arrives, takes baby to table, changes him then hands off to you. Then you know for sure it was done. I always hated changing diapers in the car, and if it's raining or bad weather...

The other thing I would mention is diaper fit. If baby is having repeated leaky diapers then his current diapers aren't working.
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Old 04-27-2018, 09:40 AM
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I have had kids get on that schedule of pooping on the way over too. I really wouldn't mind that so much as to why it's leaking everywhere. Does the child have diahhrea? Are the diapers too small? How old is the child just curious? If a child is leaking that bad, then something isn't being done right. Are the diapers on correctly?
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Old 04-27-2018, 10:31 AM
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Thanks Blackcat31... thats a good idea to check at the door too. I am so busy in the mornings with other kids dropping off that its hard sometimes to think about having the time to do that, but I might have to. Sucks that I cant just trust her to do it herself like she says she will or has done.

I have let her change him at my changing table several times in the morning when she was honest and told me he had pooped, but she got poop smears on my changing table cover and it caused way more chaos than necessary. Thats why I requested her to just bring him clean. I dont think thats too much to ask.

He doesn't have diarrhea... he just makes a lot of poop. He is a big boy. 10 months old but very chubby and wears 18 month old onesies yet she puts him in size 3 diapers and still tries to fit him in size 6 month old outfits that squeeze his butt so much that I think that contributes to the leakages too. I have asked her a few different times to bring bigger diapers but she claims that when she tried the size 4 and 5 that those leaked more.

I get that he will poop on his way here (its a 5 minute drive to my house from their house), but if he does, she needs to change him and drop him off fresh and clean.

I will just check him at the door from now on if I have to. I hate feeling like I have to parent a daycare parent. I will also tell her that she NEEDS to bring bigger diapers for him.
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Old 04-27-2018, 10:50 AM
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I would definitely agree that this kids diapers do not fit and he needs to go up a size. No kid should have so many routine diaper leaks. Does he poop again later in the day while in your care? If so, do the diapers leak then too? Do you have a spare size 4 diaper you could try on him to see if it holds better? And if it does you can tell dcm that he has to go up a size.

Another question would be is his car seat too little? I had one dcm who continued to forcefully squeeze her 10 mth old into his newborn carrier type car seat because she said it was too expensive for him to have outgrown it so quickly. He was way too big for it and his legs hung way out of it and the buckle was so tight that you had to push on his stomach to undo it. It wasnít until I mentioned the hazards of using an improper car seat that she finally sprang for one that was suited to his size. If your dcb is being squeezed into a tiny car seat it could be pushing on his stomach/hips and making the poop ooze out.
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Old 04-27-2018, 10:57 AM
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Originally Posted by HappyOwl View Post
Thanks Blackcat31... thats a good idea to check at the door too. I am so busy in the mornings with other kids dropping off that its hard sometimes to think about having the time to do that, but I might have to. Sucks that I cant just trust her to do it herself like she says she will or has done.

I have let her change him at my changing table several times in the morning when she was honest and told me he had pooped, but she got poop smears on my changing table cover and it caused way more chaos than necessary. Thats why I requested her to just bring him clean. I dont think thats too much to ask.

He doesn't have diarrhea... he just makes a lot of poop. He is a big boy. 10 months old but very chubby and wears 18 month old onesies yet she puts him in size 3 diapers and still tries to fit him in size 6 month old outfits that squeeze his butt so much that I think that contributes to the leakages too. I have asked her a few different times to bring bigger diapers but she claims that when she tried the size 4 and 5 that those leaked more.

I get that he will poop on his way here (its a 5 minute drive to my house from their house), but if he does, she needs to change him and drop him off fresh and clean.

I will just check him at the door from now on if I have to. I hate feeling like I have to parent a daycare parent. I will also tell her that she NEEDS to bring bigger diapers for him.
Sounds like this should not be happening almost daily. I would what others have suggested, new diaper size, bigger clothes and maybe a new car seat even? I would refuse to have to clean a baby up every morning.
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Old 04-27-2018, 11:04 AM
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I hate feeling like I have to parent a daycare parent.
Right?! I totally understand and it's something I rarely if ever do either but it does seem to be the way it is now days.
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Old 04-27-2018, 11:07 AM
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I would definitely agree that this kids diapers do not fit and he needs to go up a size. No kid should have so many routine diaper leaks. Does he poop again later in the day while in your care? If so, do the diapers leak then too? Do you have a spare size 4 diaper you could try on him to see if it holds better? And if it does you can tell dcm that he has to go up a size.

Another question would be is his car seat too little? I had one dcm who continued to forcefully squeeze her 10 mth old into his newborn carrier type car seat because she said it was too expensive for him to have outgrown it so quickly. He was way too big for it and his legs hung way out of it and the buckle was so tight that you had to push on his stomach to undo it. It wasnít until I mentioned the hazards of using an improper car seat that she finally sprang for one that was suited to his size. If your dcb is being squeezed into a tiny car seat it could be pushing on his stomach/hips and making the poop ooze out.
I agree, there is something else going on. It's not just that he poops on the way over. I have an 8 month old that weighs 23.5 pounds and he just before he ups a size in diapers he leaks all over. Good idea on the carseat!
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Old 04-27-2018, 11:07 AM
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Right?! I totally understand and it's something I rarely if ever do either but it does seem to be the way it is now days.
Every year it gets worse doesn't it?
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Old 04-27-2018, 11:39 AM
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Every year it gets worse doesn't it?
It sure does. I had a parent try and send her crazy 3 year old here with a rock. A good, size put someone's eye out rock. She actually handed to him in front of me. I handed it right back to her. God forbid her poor wittle pumpkin cry for 2 minutes because he couldn't bring a weapon to daycare. It amazes me at some of the stupid, lazy stuff these parents try and pull. She needs to do something about her kid pooping all over the place, not you.
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Old 04-27-2018, 11:50 AM
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It sure does. I had a parent try and send her crazy 3 year old here with a rock. A good, size put someone's eye out rock. She actually handed to him in front of me. I handed it right back to her. God forbid her poor wittle pumpkin cry for 2 minutes because he couldn't bring a weapon to daycare. It amazes me at some of the stupid, lazy stuff these parents try and pull. She needs to do something about her kid pooping all over the place, not you.
It's the "can't hear them cry" generation
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Old 04-27-2018, 12:03 PM
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HappyEverAfter - Yes I have been putting some size 5 pampers on him that I have left over from a past child I used to have here... especially at his nap times. They work great for him here. I told the mom this too and she says "thats crazy because they always leak for me". I feel like she always responds this way because she doesn't want to admit that I'm right or that this is true and she needs to buy bigger ones.

He only poops usually once a day - so those morning ones are the doozies. If he doesn't do it on his way here, he always does it within the first couple hours of the day.

I have also told her numerous times that his overalls are too tight and that his onesies are giving him wedgies and she always says "I know - I need to get his bigger clothes out of boxes. We just moved and I have to unpack them". They moved like 3 months ago... lazinessssss. That is main problem with her.

amberrose3dg - I never thought of that. He has a car seat with a base that she left here yesterday. It's a Chicco brand. I just googled what I think it is and it says the limit is 30 lbs. This baby is really big for his age so its possible he could be close or over that limit. Maybe that is contributing to the problem. Too much tightness all around!
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Old 04-27-2018, 12:06 PM
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I havenít read the replies but is the child in the wrong size diapers or a lesser quality brand? If so maybe that would also help. The pooping is one thing but for it to be leaking so much is what concerns me.
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Old 04-27-2018, 12:07 PM
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It sure does. I had a parent try and send her crazy 3 year old here with a rock. A good, size put someone's eye out rock. She actually handed to him in front of me. I handed it right back to her. God forbid her poor wittle pumpkin cry for 2 minutes because he couldn't bring a weapon to daycare. It amazes me at some of the stupid, lazy stuff these parents try and pull. She needs to do something about her kid pooping all over the place, not you.
Isn't that crazy? It always trips me out how scared parents seem to be these days to make their kid cry to take something away. I've had a kid dropped off with a spatula, one with a bottle of lotion and another dropped off the moms nail polish! The moms are always like "he is going to totally freak out if I take this away..." I'm like ok... and I just take it out of their hands and hand it to the parent like 'here' and the child 9 out of 10 times doesn't even cry. The parent looks at me like "woooow... how'd you do that??" LOL!
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Old 04-27-2018, 12:13 PM
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Okay just read the replies. I would be demanding that the child be bought bigger diapers and dressed in appropriate sized clothing. Educate mom if that what she needs but if it is just laziness turn the child away at the door.. I bet that would solve the problem real quick!
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Old 04-27-2018, 12:19 PM
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Isn't that crazy? It always trips me out how scared parents seem to be these days to make their kid cry to take something away. I've had a kid dropped off with a spatula, one with a bottle of lotion and another dropped off the moms nail polish! The moms are always like "he is going to totally freak out if I take this away..." I'm like ok... and I just take it out of their hands and hand it to the parent like 'here' and the child 9 out of 10 times doesn't even cry. The parent looks at me like "woooow... how'd you do that??" LOL!
I feel scared for how the majority of kids are being raised now. I honestly do. I see so much disrespect from kids ages 8 to 16 right now. My neighbors kid just in the last 3 months has:
1. pulled a knife on another kid and threatened them.She said that some other kid gave him the knife and it had been handled. He is outside playing the next day like it never happened.
2. Threw big boulder rocks at the neighborhood cars and people walking by him. Again no real punishment.
3. Killed a goose with a rock just last weekend.
4. Threw a dead bird and a pile of dog **** in my yard because i wouldn't let him come play in our yard with our playset.
This boy is in 4th grade!!! He is allowed to run the streets. Yet she yells at my daycare kid and son for running in OUR yard claiming they are teasing her dogs that are left outside 24/7. Did I mention people annoy me lol.
I cannot control my neighbor and her bad ass kids but i can control what goes on in my daycare.
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Old 04-27-2018, 12:26 PM
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Isn't that crazy? It always trips me out how scared parents seem to be these days to make their kid cry to take something away. I've had a kid dropped off with a spatula, one with a bottle of lotion and another dropped off the moms nail polish! The moms are always like "he is going to totally freak out if I take this away..." I'm like ok... and I just take it out of their hands and hand it to the parent like 'here' and the child 9 out of 10 times doesn't even cry. The parent looks at me like "woooow... how'd you do that??" LOL!
I had one with a rubber band yesterday. Did what you did, took it away handed it to dad haha! Same response that you got lol
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Old 04-27-2018, 12:28 PM
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I feel scared for how the majority of kids are being raised now. I honestly do. I see so much disrespect from kids ages 8 to 16 right now. My neighbors kid just in the last 3 months has:
1. pulled a knife on another kid and threatened them.She said that some other kid gave him the knife and it had been handled. He is outside playing the next day like it never happened.
2. Threw big boulder rocks at the neighborhood cars and people walking by him. Again no real punishment.
3. Killed a goose with a rock just last weekend.
4. Threw a dead bird and a pile of dog **** in my yard because i wouldn't let him come play in our yard with our playset.
This boy is in 4th grade!!! He is allowed to run the streets. Yet she yells at my daycare kid and son for running in OUR yard claiming they are teasing her dogs that are left outside 24/7. Did I mention people annoy me lol.
I cannot control my neighbor and her bad ass kids but i can control what goes on in my daycare.
WOW!!! He sounds like a sociapath!
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Old 04-27-2018, 12:32 PM
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WOW!!! He sounds like a sociapath!
He probably is. All of my daycare kids that go to school are afraid of him. He lives next door.
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Old 04-27-2018, 12:43 PM
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He probably is. All of my daycare kids that go to school are afraid of him. He lives next door.
I would be afraid of him too. He doesn't sound like just a spoiled brat. He sounds evil!
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Old 04-27-2018, 12:48 PM
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Okay just read the replies. I would be demanding that the child be bought bigger diapers and dressed in appropriate sized clothing. Educate mom if that what she needs but if it is just laziness turn the child away at the door.. I bet that would solve the problem real quick!
Yeah... thats going to have to happen. If she cant do all those things and bring him with a fresh diaper in the mornings, I'm going to have to say buh bye
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Old 04-27-2018, 12:53 PM
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He probably is. All of my daycare kids that go to school are afraid of him. He lives next door.
OMG! He sounds awful!
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