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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Not Even a Thank you
Unregistered 05:27 AM 06-21-2018
Just venting here....I took care of 3 girls for 3 years(neighbors). Last day was Tuesday. Unfortunately I had to send home early due to illness. There were subtle tensions the last month of care because it was a situation where I had to let this family go (paid late, broke rules). However, we were never on bad terms and the 3 years went fairly smoothly. It was just time to be done.

Now I don't ask for much. Ever. But I did not even get a Thank you from them. Like thanks for taking care of my children for 3 years. I am sad about it. Just venting but people suck. Has this ever happened to any of you? You go out of your way for people and get not even a thanks.
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Unregistered 05:58 AM 06-21-2018
I'm sooo with you. 2 kids 4.5 yrs..I got a txt...thanks. They were golden family..kept first kid..while she was having #2. It is very hurtful....we didn't care for their houseplants!!
My thoughts are with you!! Focus on your family!!! I do dream about running into them at the store...and saying my peace.
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Blackcat31 06:04 AM 06-21-2018
I keep my business (and my overall tone with parents in general) very business like. The kids get my "soft" side so when it comes time to part ways, I guess I don't ever expect parents to say Thank you.

I mean most my clients say thank you during payment transactions, when I say "Have a great weekend!" or in regular conversation but I don't usually expect any type of extra or additional gratitude when they leave but that might just be me.

I think however you set the tone or atmosphere for your relationship with parents/families etc is important.

Were you close to this family? In a 'your family is my family' type way? Or just business is business?

I think depending on that ^^ it dictates whether parents feel they should/shouldn't be gracious when departing.

But then again, some people are simply self absorbed and it just doesn't cross their minds to say "thank you" to the person that cared for and loved their children fro 3 years. I'm sorry you are feeling hurt by this family's actions (or lack of gratitude). Maybe it's a good thing they are gone. ((hugs))
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Unregistered 06:33 AM 06-21-2018
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I keep my business (and my overall tone with parents in general) very business like. The kids get my "soft" side so when it comes time to part ways, I guess I don't ever expect parents to say Thank you.

I mean most my clients say thank you during payment transactions, when I say "Have a great weekend!" or in regular conversation but I don't usually expect any type of extra or additional gratitude when they leave but that might just be me.

I think however you set the tone or atmosphere for your relationship with parents/families etc is important.

Were you close to this family? In a 'your family is my family' type way? Or just business is business?

I think depending on that ^^ it dictates whether parents feel they should/shouldn't be gracious when departing.

But then again, some people are simply self absorbed and it just doesn't cross their minds to say "thank you" to the person that cared for and loved their children fro 3 years. I'm sorry you are feeling hurt by this family's actions (or lack of gratitude). Maybe it's a good thing they are gone. ((hugs))
It was a closer than business relationship. It was a family feel if you know what I mean. I just cannot believe not even a text saying thanks. Nothing. I am tempted to say something simple to them pertaining to their complete rudeness when I ship all their left behinds over their way.
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nannyde 06:34 AM 06-21-2018
I don't ever think about them thanking me.

I do make it a practice to say "thank you" EVERY ... SINGLE... DAY at departure. I use it instead of "good bye".

They are my customers. I want them to know I appreciate their patronage every day.
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Unregistered 06:48 AM 06-21-2018
Originally Posted by nannyde:
I don't ever think about them thanking me.

I do make it a practice to say "thank you" EVERY ... SINGLE... DAY at departure. I use it instead of "good bye".

They are my customers. I want them to know I appreciate their patronage every day.
Never once did I expect a thank you, I like you I thanked them. However at the end I thought a thank you would have been nice. I guess people are not kind. I was raised with manners.
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Annalee 06:50 AM 06-21-2018
Originally Posted by nannyde:
I don't ever think about them thanking me.

I do make it a practice to say "thank you" EVERY ... SINGLE... DAY at departure. I use it instead of "good bye".

They are my customers. I want them to know I appreciate their patronage every day.
I have recently started doing this as well, and it has made a difference in my outlook and also how I deal with clients.....At the end of the day, I am a business.....nothing more, nothing less!
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Cat Herder 07:39 AM 06-21-2018
Originally Posted by Unregistered:

I had to send home early due to illness.

There were subtle tensions the last month of care

I had to let this family go (paid late, broke rules).
That was a lot of no.

It is also possible they will file a report.

Sadly, that is what often happens when parents are served a no.

Many will never remember all the good things you did, only the no's.

It just comes with the job. Let it roll off your back and remember it the next time you are considering doing special for no pay.
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sharlan 07:58 AM 06-21-2018
Yep, I understand.
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daycarediva 09:43 AM 06-21-2018
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
That was a lot of no.

It is also possible they will file a report.

Sadly, that is what often happens when parents are served a no.

Many will never remember all the good things you did, only the no's.

It just comes with the job. Let it roll off your back and remember it the next time you are considering doing special for no pay.

Yup.

They thanked you, in their mind, by paying you. It's a business. I don't say 'thank you' to the gas company when I mail their check. Most people see daycare the same way. As providers, we know that they're wrong, but don't take it personally.
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Ariana 10:23 AM 06-21-2018
Happened to me too and it sucked .

Kids were with me 3.5 years and they left without a thank you. They were our neighbours and she left me with the impression we were friends. The dad didn’t even understand why his daughter was upset on her last day. I gave and I gave to that family. Mended clothes with holes in it, bought clothes so the little girl had something decent to wear, gave a discount when she divorced and left me with the impression she was broke and they left without even a thank you card!

I got over it but a few weeks later my husband helped her put together a bunny cage and she dropped off a thank you note and a $10 gift card from Starbucks. Yup. For putting together a bunny cage They were my first family and I learned a LOT of lessons from that relationship.
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lovemykidstoo 10:45 AM 06-21-2018
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
That was a lot of no.

It is also possible they will file a report.

Sadly, that is what often happens when parents are served a no.

Many will never remember all the good things you did, only the no's.

It just comes with the job. Let it roll off your back and remember it the next time you are considering doing special for no pay.
This is what I'm thinking. You're terming them due to broken rules right? Even though I would do the same, you're terming. Doubt they're going to thank you for that even if you're in the right.
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Unregistered 10:50 AM 06-21-2018
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
That was a lot of no.

It is also possible they will file a report.

Sadly, that is what often happens when parents are served a no.

Many will never remember all the good things you did, only the no's.

It just comes with the job. Let it roll off your back and remember it the next time you are considering doing special for no pay.
File a report? Lmao. Really? On what grounds?
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Unregistered 10:54 AM 06-21-2018
Originally Posted by Ariana:
Happened to me too and it sucked .

Kids were with me 3.5 years and they left without a thank you. They were our neighbours and she left me with the impression we were friends. The dad didnít even understand why his daughter was upset on her last day. I gave and I gave to that family. Mended clothes with holes in it, bought clothes so the little girl had something decent to wear, gave a discount when she divorced and left me with the impression she was broke and they left without even a thank you card!

I got over it but a few weeks later my husband helped her put together a bunny cage and she dropped off a thank you note and a $10 gift card from Starbucks. Yup. For putting together a bunny cage They were my first family and I learned a LOT of lessons from that relationship.

Same situation here. I bent over backwards for this family. I learned my lesson. But it still makes me strongly dislike humans sometimes.
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Cat Herder 11:10 AM 06-21-2018
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
File a report? Lmao. Really? On what grounds?
Hurt feelings.

Whatever they come up with.

Happens all the time with terminations.

They are rarely substantiated. Click some tags.
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Unregistered 11:43 AM 06-21-2018
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
Hurt feelings.

Whatever they come up with.

Happens all the time with terminations.

They are rarely substantiated. Click some tags.
Oh wow, I will have to check those out. People are so petty
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daycarediva 10:11 AM 06-22-2018
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Oh wow, I will have to check those out. People are so petty
INSANELY SO. I've had several parents file reports on me after terminating the contract.
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Unregistered 11:12 AM 06-22-2018
I think too that since you had to term there is no way they are going to say thanks. Even tho you provided Three years of great care.
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Unregistered 07:50 PM 06-22-2018
I agree. If you termed them, why would they thank you? For no longer caring for their child by your choice, not theirs. The thank yous will come from the kids that age out and leave on good terms.
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Unregistered 07:53 PM 06-22-2018
And you sent home early due to illness on the last day, after terming a 3 year family? A thank you really is too much to expect under those circumstances. Best you can hope for is that they do not bad mouth you all over town
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Josiegirl 03:14 AM 06-23-2018
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
Yup.

They thanked you, in their mind, by paying you. It's a business. I don't say 'thank you' to the gas company when I mail their check. Most people see daycare the same way. As providers, we know that they're wrong, but don't take it personally.
Side note, when I made out my check to the plumber last week, I wrote thank you. I guess I was so tickled to finally have my faucet fixed. Lol I like the idea of thanking my dcfs when they pick up; I need to start doing that. I am so lucky to have wonderful parents at the moment.

But yeh, it's a big let down when you put your heart and soul into helping raise their child/ren for so long, only to be told see ya. But also, it does sound like your relationship recently had gotten off kilter a bit and maybe they have started to feel a little different about everything, forgetting all the good and only remembering the other stuff. It's hard to feel grateful when things start going sour and maybe they've been feeling the same way you have lately. It's hard.
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Unregistered 10:37 AM 06-23-2018
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
And you sent home early due to illness on the last day, after terming a 3 year family? A thank you really is too much to expect under those circumstances. Best you can hope for is that they do not bad mouth you all over town
I really don't give a **** if or what they say about me.
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LysesKids 05:35 PM 06-26-2018
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I really don't give a **** if or what they say about me.
I would... why? Because a termed parent went above & beyond to smear my business 7 years ago. They found everywhere they could to post online including YELP and they were in the wrong, but it damaged my business for awhile.

I even had other families tell me where they found the hateful made up stuff (over the course of 6 months) & they put up their own good comments, it still didn't do any good until I threatened court for slander then the termed family retracted their comments (both were professors who thought they were better than everyone else). Some parents will do anything spiteful if they feel wronged.
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amberrose3dg 04:37 AM 06-27-2018
Originally Posted by LysesKids:
I would... why? Because a termed parent went above & beyond to smear my business 7 years ago. They found everywhere they could to post online including YELP and they were in the wrong, but it damaged my business for awhile.

I even had other families tell me where they found the hateful made up stuff (over the course of 6 months) & they put up their own good comments, it still didn't do any good until I threatened court for slander then the termed family retracted their comments (both were professors who thought they were better than everyone else). Some parents will do anything spiteful if they feel wronged.
This! for some reason this can be a profession where everyone takes everything personal when it is not always meant to be. Even after we are done caring for someone's child no matter they pulled or we terminated have to look over our shoulders for revenge. It is one thing if you pull your child because you feel they are being mistreated or abused to post negative reviews. The problem is people want to make something out of nothing. Then the ones that are actually bad providers no one says anything about.
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Snowmom 06:06 AM 06-27-2018
Originally Posted by LysesKids:
I would... why? Because a termed parent went above & beyond to smear my business 7 years ago. They found everywhere they could to post online including YELP and they were in the wrong, but it damaged my business for awhile.

I even had other families tell me where they found the hateful made up stuff (over the course of 6 months) & they put up their own good comments, it still didn't do any good until I threatened court for slander then the termed family retracted their comments (both were professors who thought they were better than everyone else). Some parents will do anything spiteful if they feel wronged.
It's happened to me too.
I do online checks every month for the last 5 yrs to make sure the butt-hurt dcm I had hasn't started her online rage again.
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Unregistered 07:52 AM 06-27-2018
Originally Posted by LysesKids:
I would... why? Because a termed parent went above & beyond to smear my business 7 years ago. They found everywhere they could to post online including YELP and they were in the wrong, but it damaged my business for awhile.

I even had other families tell me where they found the hateful made up stuff (over the course of 6 months) & they put up their own good comments, it still didn't do any good until I threatened court for slander then the termed family retracted their comments (both were professors who thought they were better than everyone else). Some parents will do anything spiteful if they feel wronged.
Still don't give a crap what they say. I filled their spot with a family that does not live in the neighborhood. I also have another kid starting in July. I will never provide care for neighbors again. If they try to bad mouth me, like I said I do not care. They are not well liked around here anyways.
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Tags:appreciated, appreciation, false complaint, job expectations, parents - don't appreciate, self esteem, termination, thank you, thankless job
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