Daycare.com Forum

Go Back   Daycare.com Forum > Main Category > Daycare Center and Family Home Forum

Daycare Center and Family Home Forum Daycare Center and Family Home owners, Directors, Operators and Assistants should post and ask questions here.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 07-17-2018, 10:05 AM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Have You Ever Declined Based Off Interview Behavior?

I had a mom and her 2 girls (2 and 4) come by yesterday for an interview. Mom seemed to be decent. The kids were acting pretty bad. Into everything, going into rooms I do not allow. The 4 yr old is sassy. Ugh. I want to decline before I even start.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 07-17-2018, 10:11 AM
Snowmom's Avatar
Snowmom Snowmom is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 1,137
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
I had a mom and her 2 girls (2 and 4) come by yesterday for an interview. Mom seemed to be decent. The kids were acting pretty bad. Into everything, going into rooms I do not allow. The 4 yr old is sassy. Ugh. I want to decline before I even start.
Yes, I have passed on some who acted terribly at the interview.

I also begrudgingly took in one girl who was a bloody terror at the interview but ended up being my favorite dck ever.

As long as the parents don't throw red flags, I can work with (most) of the rest. Kids act much different with their parents than with us.
I lay down the law and they believe me.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 07-17-2018, 10:18 AM
Josiegirl's Avatar
Josiegirl Josiegirl is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Right here
Posts: 9,072
Default

Not that I can recall but I have turned down someone who never even made it to an interview. We had an interview scheduled, she was a no-show so I texted her. Strange because I never follow up if they don't show up. But I did this one. The 1st time we spoke on the phone we(rather she) talked for probably 45 minutes. A lot of nonsense stuff, jibberish about ds might have an issue he was getting tested for. Next time we spoke(after the no-show), she starts in again, on and on and on, another 30 minutes of jibberish and I'd finally had it, burst into her conversation and said "I don't think I'm a good fit for your needs" and she agreed.

If you already have a 'feeling' about this dcf, I'd pass.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 07-17-2018, 10:25 AM
savedbygrace43's Avatar
savedbygrace43 savedbygrace43 is offline
New Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: tennessee
Posts: 5
Default

Yes, I have passed on quite a few, based on red flags. The worst child experience during an interview was a kid who put his hand inside my fish tank in my office and was trying to catch the fish, and the mom did nothing, I eventually told the child to stop, and the parent was irritated that I corrected his behavior.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 07-17-2018, 10:29 AM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by savedbygrace43 View Post
Yes, I have passed on quite a few, based on red flags. The worst child experience during an interview was a kid who put his hand inside my fish tank in my office and was trying to catch the fish, and the mom did nothing, I eventually told the child to stop, and the parent was irritated that I corrected his behavior.
Unreal! Parents do not parent anymore.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 07-17-2018, 10:32 AM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Snowmom View Post
Yes, I have passed on some who acted terribly at the interview.

I also begrudgingly took in one girl who was a bloody terror at the interview but ended up being my favorite dck ever.

As long as the parents don't throw red flags, I can work with (most) of the rest. Kids act much different with their parents than with us.
I lay down the law and they believe me.
This is where I stand on it. There were no red flags from mom. Other than she did not correct some behaviors. I can usually work with kids and get them to comply. It was just so crazy when they were here that I want to call it ALL off.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 07-17-2018, 10:39 AM
savedbygrace43's Avatar
savedbygrace43 savedbygrace43 is offline
New Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: tennessee
Posts: 5
Default

Always trust your first instinct.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 07-17-2018, 10:39 AM
Tin Blues's Avatar
Tin Blues Tin Blues is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Montana
Posts: 64
Default

Yes, Iíve known within the first 5 minutes that I wasnít going to offer a spot to somebody. Iím pretty blunt with parents. Let them know that Iím looking for the best possible fit and I interview until the spot is filled. Itís not always easy to call and let a parent know they didnít make the cut. But itís better than struggling with a child that wonít fit. When you have an interview and there are red flags, listen to your gut.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 07-17-2018, 10:40 AM
Annalee's Avatar
Annalee Annalee is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 4,274
Default

Absolutely! I meet with the families three times before committing to anything. I have a client coming at 3 today for her third visit and if all goes well, we will complete the paperwork at this visit. This process does not alleviate all problems but it does help! The last two I have taken have not had good outcomes so I am overly cautious this time. I feel families have learned to say/do what they need to in order to be enrolled, but then the attitude changes. It is a game and it has become a challenge to weed through for the client that is genuinely sincere in what they say/do.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 07-17-2018, 10:54 AM
Cat Herder's Avatar
Cat Herder Cat Herder is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 9,985
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
I had a mom and her 2 girls (2 and 4) come by yesterday for an interview. Mom seemed to be decent. The kids were acting pretty bad. Into everything, going into rooms I do not allow. The 4 yr old is sassy. Ugh. I want to decline before I even start.
This would tell me there is a parent issue.
__________________
- Unless otherwise stated, all my posts are personal opinion and worth what you paid for them.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 07-17-2018, 11:00 AM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 16,984
Default

Depends. I don't base my overall decision on one meeting though. Instead I have a trial period where I get an opportunity to learn more about the child and the family.

I have long time kids in care now that are super well behaved for me but turn into some sort of possessed demon the minute their parent shows up so I know behavior with a parent can be 100% different for me.

This situation is the entire point of a trial period.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 07-17-2018, 11:10 AM
Annalee's Avatar
Annalee Annalee is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 4,274
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Depends. I don't base my overall decision on one meeting though. Instead I have a trial period where I get an opportunity to learn more about the child and the family.

I have long time kids in care now that are super well behaved for me but turn into some sort of possessed demon the minute their parent shows up so I know behavior with a parent can be 100% different for me.

This situation is the entire point of a trial period.
I have a four week trial period as well but where I used to mess up is by telling the parent all was fine because I didn't want to say they cried all day. During this time, I felt it looked bad on me if things didn't work out. BUT now, I am totally honest and actually do something about it if it isn't working. Took me way too long to learn that lesson!
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 07-17-2018, 11:35 AM
JBWWCC's Avatar
JBWWCC JBWWCC is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: California
Posts: 18
Default

Yup! That's what the interviews are for. I agree it absolutely does depend on the child! Every child I have/had, was different without their parents. However, I had one Interview where the child took a SHARPIE from moms purse and walked down the entire hall drawing a line! I ended with, "I will let you know what I decide." They were a no from me.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 07-17-2018, 11:37 AM
BumbleBee's Avatar
BumbleBee BumbleBee is online now
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,136
Default

Yes. It's not a be all end all but poor interview behavior from parents or kids is a factor.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 07-17-2018, 02:28 PM
LysesKids's Avatar
LysesKids LysesKids is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 2,763
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by JBWWCC View Post
Yup! That's what the interviews are for. I agree it absolutely does depend on the child! Every child I have/had, was different without their parents. However, I had one Interview where the child took a SHARPIE from moms purse and walked down the entire hall drawing a line! I ended with, "I will let you know what I decide." They were a no from me.
I would have asked the parent right then & there for repainting money then a firm NO afterwards. I would hate to see what their house looked like
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 07-17-2018, 09:54 PM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Yes, which is why I require the child be present at the interview. While some kids have been holy terrors. It's mostly saved me from snowflake mom who thought their children where the end all to be all.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 07-18-2018, 12:01 AM
CalCare's Avatar
CalCare CalCare is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: California
Posts: 633
Default

Yes, I saw a couple crazies come through my door... Never came in the door again lol
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 07-18-2018, 04:01 AM
amberrose3dg's Avatar
amberrose3dg amberrose3dg is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: somewhere
Posts: 1,196
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by CalCare View Post
Yes, I saw a couple crazies come through my door... Never came in the door again lol
Oh god yes!
Right before vacation.tons of red flags.
1.the whole interview bad mouthed the center her kid was going to. Went as far as saying they were hurting and abusing her child. My question is why is your child still going there then? No good response.
2.they spanked their kid in front of me like it was nothing.
3. Stories were inconsistent.
4. She is a state aid client and admits to running errands on their dime which is a big no no. You go to work and come back to pick your kid up.
5.she was pregnant and due soon.
6. Her boyfriend started going through stuff in my house.
7.she told me she doesn't claim him so she can get state help.(ugh)
Once that interview left I knew no way I was dealing with them.
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 07-18-2018, 04:39 AM
DaveA's Avatar
DaveA DaveA is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Illinois
Posts: 3,380
Default

It can be a factor. Children tend to act differently during the interview then they do with me, so that's not a given. But it does weigh in on my post interview evaluation. It's basically depends on parent's reaction to the behavior and what the child is doing. The sharpie thing would have been a interview ender right there)
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 07-18-2018, 06:03 AM
Ariana's Avatar
Ariana Ariana is online now
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 6,868
Default

I have declined twice but never for a childís behavior only for the parents. I can tell when someone is going to try and take advantage and is crazy much better now! For kids (and some parents)I give a 6 week trial period
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 07-18-2018, 09:50 AM
Kimskiddos's Avatar
Kimskiddos Kimskiddos is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 399
Default

Oh yes, turned one politely away last month (well she wanted on my wait list, I put her at the very bottom).

She wanted me to hold the spot for over a month. She wanted a special diet. She wanted open to close.
She then asked me what would happen if she picked up late, then gave me a couple of reason why she would possibly pick up late. Questioned vacations and days off.

The kicker was she called one of my current client references and actually told her she would be keeping track of all my time off.

I told her I would get back to her in a couple of weeks after finishing up with my scheduled interviews (wanted her to understand it was my decision). Then I admit I completely forgot about her because she was a BIG NO, until she called back after a few weeks. That's when I told her I had filled the spot and put her on that wait list going nowhere.

The happy ending is I found a perfect family/fit at the very next interview.
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 07-18-2018, 10:26 AM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 16,984
Default

YES! in regards to declining a client based on parent behavior! I had a potential client contact me a couple weeks back.....

She inquired about care and had a list of questions she wanted me to answer.

I directed her to my website and told her most the info in regards to the questions can be found on my site and to feel free to put her name on my wait list if my info sounded like something she was interested in.

She replied that she didn't have time to go read my website and could I just tell her what she wanted to know. Then she added "...and reply in a different font. I don't like the one you are using now." (fwiw, I use Comic Sans)

So I replied in invisible ink.
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 07-18-2018, 10:45 AM
amberrose3dg's Avatar
amberrose3dg amberrose3dg is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: somewhere
Posts: 1,196
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
YES! in regards to declining a client based on parent behavior! I had a potential client contact me a couple weeks back.....

She inquired about care and had a list of questions she wanted me to answer.

I directed her to my website and told her most the info in regards to the questions can be found on my site and to feel free to put her name on my wait list if my info sounded like something she was interested in.

She replied that she didn't have time to go read my website and could I just tell her what she wanted to know. Then she added "...and reply in a different font. I don't like the one you are using now." (fwiw, I use Comic Sans)

So I replied in invisible ink.
Oh my
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 07-18-2018, 10:46 AM
Annalee's Avatar
Annalee Annalee is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 4,274
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
YES! in regards to declining a client based on parent behavior! I had a potential client contact me a couple weeks back.....

She inquired about care and had a list of questions she wanted me to answer.

I directed her to my website and told her most the info in regards to the questions can be found on my site and to feel free to put her name on my wait list if my info sounded like something she was interested in.

She replied that she didn't have time to go read my website and could I just tell her what she wanted to know. Then she added "...and reply in a different font. I don't like the one you are using now." (fwiw, I use Comic Sans)

So I replied in invisible ink.
Oh my goodness! Some of these clients
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 07-18-2018, 10:49 AM
amberrose3dg's Avatar
amberrose3dg amberrose3dg is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: somewhere
Posts: 1,196
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kimskiddos View Post
Oh yes, turned one politely away last month (well she wanted on my wait list, I put her at the very bottom).

She wanted me to hold the spot for over a month. She wanted a special diet. She wanted open to close.
She then asked me what would happen if she picked up late, then gave me a couple of reason why she would possibly pick up late. Questioned vacations and days off.

The kicker was she called one of my current client references and actually told her she would be keeping track of all my time off.

I told her I would get back to her in a couple of weeks after finishing up with my scheduled interviews (wanted her to understand it was my decision). Then I admit I completely forgot about her because she was a BIG NO, until she called back after a few weeks. That's when I told her I had filled the spot and put her on that wait list going nowhere.

The happy ending is I found a perfect family/fit at the very next interview.
That sounds like a big fat no.
There is a daycare closing near me. I have one of their clients starting with me next month. She asked if I had an opening for another child. Well the mom called me and she has two kids not one. She needs almost open to close for a 3 year old. She then started asking me if she had to pay when kids aren't here, vacations, if i had back up care when im closed. I flat out said yes you pay no matter what and i do not offer back up care.I got the ill talk to my husband response.You can almost tell immediately if a family is going to work out or not sometimes before you even interview.
Reply With Quote
  #26  
Old 07-18-2018, 10:54 AM
Mike's Avatar
Mike Mike is online now
starting daycare someday
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,322
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
So I replied in invisible ink.


I've found that children can be very different under your care, so a child's action wouldn't be an automatic no, but I would be more weary of potential problems due to parenting style.
__________________
Children are little angels, even when they are little devils.
They are also our future.
Reply With Quote
  #27  
Old 07-18-2018, 11:24 AM
hwichlaz's Avatar
hwichlaz hwichlaz is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: California
Posts: 1,836
Default

I had an interview last week. She comes in with a 2-year-old with a VERY full leaking diaper and denies it, and a 5 month old asleep in a car seat.

First, only wants 3 days even though I require at least 4.

Then says that her child can't have any soy, nuts or nut butters, any dairy, or red meat or pork...but it's not religious or allergies...though mom herself is allergic to peanuts. I told her I'd happily keep nut butters away from her child to avoid cross contamination to mom...I don't serve them often enough for it to be an issue anyway...but I'm on the food program and require participation for enrollment. So she could send lactose-free or soy milk for me to serve with my regular menu...anything else needs a dr's note.

Her husband is a deputy and going to want to look up the crime in my neighborhood before dropping in for a visit. All but one of my current familes is law enforcement... I live in a very poor neighborhood that gets a lot of 911 calls for small things. I used to live in a nice upper middle class neighborhood, and I ended up being the witness to a gang fight which included a shooting in the street in front of my house....so i'll not be calling these people back.
Reply With Quote
  #28  
Old 07-18-2018, 12:38 PM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Update from OP here. So I have the girls here today. They are doing fine. Learning quickly that I run the show.
Reply With Quote
  #29  
Old 07-18-2018, 01:00 PM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 16,984
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Update from OP here. So I have the girls here today. They are doing fine. Learning quickly that I run the show.
Awesome! It's always nice when they are quick learners!
Reply With Quote
  #30  
Old 07-18-2018, 05:41 PM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Awesome! It's always nice when they are quick learners!
Yes! And as you mentioned above, kids act much different for us than they do for their parents.
Reply With Quote
  #31  
Old 07-18-2018, 10:24 PM
Ariana's Avatar
Ariana Ariana is online now
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 6,868
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Yes! And as you mentioned above, kids act much different for us than they do for their parents.
Yes and its much easier to whip them into shape! Parents on the other hand
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
the art of the interview

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
LO for Privacy- Interview for Center Position but Wary... Unregistered Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 5 02-04-2016 02:08 PM
Interview on Tuesday! Preschool/daycare teacher Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 4 09-03-2015 10:38 AM
Manipulative Behavior Unregistered Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 0 08-10-2015 03:07 PM
Stupidest Cancelled Interview Excuse Ever! daycarediva Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 44 09-20-2013 03:36 PM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:31 PM.



Daycare.com         Find A Daycare         List Your Daycare         Toys & Products                 About Us

Daycare.com
Please read our Disclaimer before continuing.

Topics pertain mainly to the following States:

Alabama Alaska Arizona Arkansas California Colorado Connecticut Delaware District of Columbia Florida Georgia Hawaii Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah Vermont Virginia Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming