Aggressive 2 yr old DCB

[BGM]

I've had this child since he was about 15 months, since I opened daycare, actually. He was a really sweet baby last school year. He would play by himself and the other children well. Super easy going.

And then he came back this year and he's soooo different. He's nervous and aggressive to anyone who gets too close. It's to the point that I can't leave him to play with the other kids without someone getting hit or bitten. None of my other kids bite, but this is the only daycare he's had. If someone gets too close to him or if my younger ones try to take his toys without knowing "the rules" he automatically starts to scream, lash out and hit. Like, he just starts swatting. He'll even chase them away and keep hitting after the kid gets the idea and tries to leave.

I'm trying to be patient with him and lead by example, but when he starts attacking a crawling baby for getting too close, I get so frustrated with him!

So, what do I do to redirect this two year old? Timeouts are out, of course, but sometimes he needs to play by himself while I console his latest victim. I have tried being a referee and helping the kids play together nicely. I've tried redirecting him or the other child to a different toy. I've tried having everyone play in their own sections. I've given him stickers for being nice or asking me to help him if someone's taken his stuff. I'm losing steam with this guy. The other kids don't even want to play with him now. I just want us all to get along.

Today, I'm going to try having him be my shadow. If I have to go to the bathroom or get a meal ready, he can play by my side. I'm tired of leaving the room only to have to go right back when someone starts crying because they were attacked.

I've been mentioning this to his parents for months now and all they do is say "hmm that's weird, we don't do any of that stuff at home..." The last couple times, they talked to him about not hitting in front of me, but he just acts cute, gives mommy and daddy a hug and goes right back to hitting the next day. What do I do to help drive home not hitting people as a first response to them getting too close or doing something you don't like?

[rosieteddy]

I think you just have to wait it out.That being said I would set up a gated area -aka-playpen or separate area .First time each day that he goes to lash out immediately separate him.If its lunch have him sit at table while you prepare meal.Of course he does none of this at home ,everything is his.I would say everytime you need to play alone if you are mean.I always had youngest child next to me and if there was a hitter they were on the other side.They had toys they liked ,just no access to other children.Also in good weather we walked a little more and 2 yr + held on to stroller.It is hard but he should get the idea quickly.Good luck.

[Mom2Two]

Was he away from your care for a while? I'm just trying to understand your post.

[BGM]

Originally Posted by rosieteddy

I think you just have to wait it out.That being said I would set up a gated area -aka-playpen or separate area .First time each day that he goes to lash out immediately separate him.If its lunch have him sit at table while you prepare meal.Of course he does none of this at home ,everything is his.I would say everytime you need to play alone if you are mean.I always had youngest child next to me and if there was a hitter they were on the other side.They had toys they liked ,just no access to other children.Also in good weather we walked a little more and 2 yr + held on to stroller.It is hard but he should get the idea quickly.Good luck.

Those are great ideas. It's been so snowy here but when it warms up, I'm looking forward to taking them on nice loooooooooong walks. In the meantime, I'll keep letting them struggle it out in the snow.

Thank you!

[BGM]

Originally Posted by Mom2Two

Was he away from your care for a while? I'm just trying to understand your post.

I close during the summer.

[Josiegirl]

It's hard to know if the place he was at over the summer changed him or if simple aging into a new developmental phase created the changes.
I've had a dcb since he was 3 mo and he's now almost 21 mo and he's undergone some major attitude changes. Yikes! He's very impulsive, smiles as he's hitting and pulling hair, screams, steals toys and food(new thing yay), he has just become a little monster. Gotta love those terrible 2's.