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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Just How Un-Involved Are Parents.....?
Meeko 07:16 AM 12-11-2019
I have always done a mini activities program during the school year with my 3-4 year olds. From about 9-11 am.

This year, I haven't done it as the eligible kids are arriving at more spread out times and I added a school run....so no big enough time block to get it done.

I didn't say anything at first a I had planned on it, but each day became more difficult to schedule, so it just went by the wayside.

My son said..."Mom, just wait and see if the parents notice their kids aren't bringing home a ton of crafts etc."

So I waited for them to ask or mention it.

Crickets.

Not one single parent has asked about it. Not one has noticed their child isn't bringing a mountain of stuff home.

I am in shock as to just how un-involved and un-interested they ALL are.

I am going to retire in the next year or so and am winding down. The kids get love, toys, good food, exercise and rest. I'm not going to work myself to the bone anymore for parents who don't give a hoot.
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Ms.Kay 07:26 AM 12-11-2019
I couldn't agree more!!!! The last 8 yrs a craft or 2... I used to write a few words on a white board every day so parents could ask/talk to kids on the way home. ...took it down last year......no one said a word.

Im about 9 yrs away from retirement. ...so jealous!!!
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Rockgirl 07:36 AM 12-11-2019
They may have noticed, but just arenít commenting. Maybe they think it would come across as a complaint to mention it?
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Blackcat31 07:51 AM 12-11-2019
Originally Posted by Meeko:
I have always done a mini activities program during the school year with my 3-4 year olds. From about 9-11 am.

This year, I haven't done it as the eligible kids are arriving at more spread out times and I added a school run....so no big enough time block to get it done.

I didn't say anything at first a I had planned on it, but each day became more difficult to schedule, so it just went by the wayside.

My son said..."Mom, just wait and see if the parents notice their kids aren't bringing home a ton of crafts etc."

So I waited for them to ask or mention it.

Crickets.

Not one single parent has asked about it. Not one has noticed their child isn't bringing a mountain of stuff home.

I am in shock as to just how un-involved and un-interested they ALL are.

I am going to retire in the next year or so and am winding down. The kids get love, toys, good food, exercise and rest. I'm not going to work myself to the bone anymore for parents who don't give a hoot.


I am in the same boat.

Not sure if I should be relieved or sad.

I expect it from some parents but yeah... totally understand where you are coming from.

Enjoy your days and know you are providing what matters the most. Especially now days.
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rosieteddy 07:58 AM 12-11-2019
It really bothered me when helping children into cars I would notice their projects lying crumbled on the floor.Changed my program .
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Annalee 08:04 AM 12-11-2019
I understand. The dynamics of the home has affected child care and school immensely. The government implementing QRIS in child care and core curriculum in schools has changed the child care profession and teaching to the point providers feel they can't succeed with anything. So it's a cycle of defeat almost.
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Ariana 08:52 AM 12-11-2019
I hear you!

Most of the time the craft stays in their daycare bag for days on end. No one bothers to put it on the fridge. No one is proud of their kids work. No one seems to care! I stopped sending crafts home and just use them to decorate the play room.

I also have a private FB page that I post biweekly pics on. They couldnít be bothered to like the posts most weeks. Itís biweekly and they couldnít be bothered. It used to be weekly so I cut down. Now I have decided to phase it out. What is the point. Meanwhile these same parents are all over FB liking and posting every.single.day. But they canít throw me a bone
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Ariana 08:54 AM 12-11-2019
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:

Enjoy your days and know you are providing what matters the most. Especially now days.
So much this

I had one parent tell me that as long as her kid is alive at the end of the day she is happy. We laughed but I bet there is truth to it.
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Ac114 09:08 AM 12-11-2019
Originally Posted by rosieteddy:
It really bothered me when helping children into cars I would notice their projects lying crumbled on the floor.Changed my program .
Yup!!! Made cinnamon dough ornaments yesterday with the kids. Took everything in me to even do them because no one appreciates it. One parent let her 14 month old break it in half as soon as I gave it to her. And only ONE mom out of 6 set of parents said ďthank you! I appreciate that you did crafts with her todayĒ

Of course sheís my only mom that keeps her child home if sheís not at work, picks up early if she gets off early, all around appreciates me for what I do.
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Josiegirl 10:32 AM 12-11-2019
Originally Posted by Rockgirl:
They may have noticed, but just arenít commenting. Maybe they think it would come across as a complaint to mention it?
That was my 1st thought as well.
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coloradoprovider 12:41 PM 12-11-2019
I don't do many crafts that involve me doing much of the work. We do much more 3 dimensional learning. Music, nature, cooperative games, outside nearly every day, playdough, free art (painting, drawing) - that doesn't have a predetermined outcome, music, stories, manners and kindness, etc. Maybe once a month or so we do a "craft" and the parents are more appreciative - "less is more" - Young children shouldn't be generating a lot of paperwork. Their free play is very imaginative - you can't send most of what we do home in a backpack. Closely examine the impetus to send lots of stuff home to show that they're learning. Parents' lack of enthusiasm for "stuff" doesn't necessarily mean they're un-involved. Try sending less home - give them 1 or 2 things they can do at home to extend their child's learning. The less paperwork oriented the better.
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AmyKidsCo 01:21 PM 12-11-2019
I think many people are getting into "decluttering" and prefer not having all that stuff come home so they don't have to decide what to do with them. As a mom of 6 I didn't keep most of the things my children made. I took photos of the things they or I really liked, and kept some super special things, but the rest was recycled, tossed, or donated.

Also, I think more parents are jumping on the Free Play and Process over Product train and don't expect tons of stuff to come home.
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DaveA 03:49 AM 12-12-2019
Originally Posted by AmyKidsCo:

Also, I think more parents are jumping on the Free Play and Process over Product train and don't expect tons of stuff to come home.
I don't do a lot of crafts or activities that result in something "take home". From the outset I tell DCPs I focus on social and emotional development. But yeah- if I changed up a major part of my program and no one commented I'd be annoyed.

Back when I did daily activity logs to go home with DCKs I started making smart alec notes in the logs. Things like "Signed kids up for SEAL training but they were mad they didn't get to become real seals!" No one commented. I once did this for a week with 5 kids with zero responses. Daily logs didn't last long after that.
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Cat Herder 09:18 AM 12-12-2019
Originally Posted by DaveA:
Back when I did daily activity logs to go home with DCKs I started making smart alec notes in the logs. Things like "Signed kids up for SEAL training but they were mad they didn't get to become real seals!" No one commented. I once did this for a week with 5 kids with zero responses. Daily logs didn't last long after that.
I offered discounts to anyone who emailed or texted me a code word. Nothing. I no longer do daily sheets. Nobody asked why.
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Lil_Diddle 12:23 PM 12-12-2019
I have noticed it a lot with my current group of DCPís. I always make monthly newsletters. They leave them in their parent mailboxes until I physically have to hand it to them. On important information, I post reminders on our group fb page and put a note up at eye level on the door in which they enter. And someone will always forget. Honestly it makes me feel unappreciated for all the efforts I put in to doing things with and for their children. Iím really nervous right now, the kids always do a secret Santa on the last day before Christmas break. Iím so worried one or more will forget to bring a gift... or heck even forget to get one.
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janell999 12:26 PM 12-12-2019
As a parent to 4 kids who routinely bring home crafts from school and sunday school.. I will say, I hate all the paper waste. These things get left in the car and trampled on, they get shoved in the bottom of a drawer when the child says they want to keep it forever etc. I keep the special ones, but honestly all that paper waste just gets dumped in the recycle bin.

As a daycare provider who does crafts with my kids in my care, I always give the parent the option to keep it, or hang it up here on the bulletin board for a time(then get put in the recycle bin). Most of the time the parent does not want the paper, unless it's something special.

So don't get offended, it's just too much clutter laying around. let the kids paint and color and craft, but don't force the perfect pinterest crafts. it's not worth the time.
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AmyKidsCo 12:30 PM 12-12-2019
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
I offered discounts to anyone who emailed or texted me a code word. Nothing. I no longer do daily sheets. Nobody asked why.
I switched to an app, which takes much less time that I don't care if some parents never check it.
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Cat Herder 12:32 PM 12-12-2019
Originally Posted by AmyKidsCo:
I switched to an app, which takes much less time that I don't care if some parents never check it.
My state is pushing communication apps hard, but I just have no interest in creating any more work for myself. I verbally tell them what they need to know while still holding their child's hand. It has been much more effective. Captive audience.
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Ariana 12:54 PM 12-12-2019
Originally Posted by DaveA:
Back when I did daily activity logs to go home with DCKs I started making smart alec notes in the logs. Things like "Signed kids up for SEAL training but they were mad they didn't get to become real seals!" No one commented. I once did this for a week with 5 kids with zero responses. Daily logs didn't last long after that.
Same here! I didnít write anything funny but wrote notes that needed a response and got nothing. I even placed the log at the bottom of the bag where it stayed for an entire week. I stopped cold turkey and no one said a word!!

All the ECE workshops I see are focused on parent communication and inclusivity. Sorry but there is only so much we can do to include parents in our programs.
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happymom 02:08 PM 12-12-2019
Originally Posted by janell999:
As a parent to 4 kids who routinely bring home crafts from school and sunday school.. I will say, I hate all the paper waste. These things get left in the car and trampled on, they get shoved in the bottom of a drawer when the child says they want to keep it forever etc. I keep the special ones, but honestly all that paper waste just gets dumped in the recycle bin.

As a daycare provider who does crafts with my kids in my care, I always give the parent the option to keep it, or hang it up here on the bulletin board for a time(then get put in the recycle bin). Most of the time the parent does not want the paper, unless it's something special.

So don't get offended, it's just too much clutter laying around. let the kids paint and color and craft, but don't force the perfect pinterest crafts. it's not worth the time.

Couldn't have said it better myself. It's a WONDERFUL opportunity for our children to use fine motor skills, my kid is always glowing when he shows me his projects. I ask him questions, and that's the end of their life, for the most part.

Googly eyes fall off before we even get home =) everything gets recycled soon after.
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Baby Beluga 02:31 PM 12-12-2019
Originally Posted by janell999:
As a parent to 4 kids who routinely bring home crafts from school and sunday school.. I will say, I hate all the paper waste. These things get left in the car and trampled on, they get shoved in the bottom of a drawer when the child says they want to keep it forever etc. I keep the special ones, but honestly all that paper waste just gets dumped in the recycle bin.

As a daycare provider who does crafts with my kids in my care, I always give the parent the option to keep it, or hang it up here on the bulletin board for a time(then get put in the recycle bin). Most of the time the parent does not want the paper, unless it's something special.

So don't get offended, it's just too much clutter laying around. let the kids paint and color and craft, but don't force the perfect pinterest crafts. it's not worth the time.


My daughter brings home paper all.the.time from school and often it ends up in the recycling the same evening. She has a binder where she is able to keep things that are important to her, and when that is full, we go through it again. I just can't do the excess paper.

My DCK's do participate in art/crafts daily, and I fully expect parents to toss or recycle it the same evening. It doesn't bother me one bit. I continue to do it because the DCK's light up at pick up time when they get to show their parents what they did. They are proud of themselves. As long as the child is proud, even if it's only for a brief moment, that is what matters to me.
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Josiegirl 02:18 AM 12-13-2019
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
I offered discounts to anyone who emailed or texted me a code word. Nothing. I no longer do daily sheets. Nobody asked why.
I've had those parents, daily notes accumulating in their bags until the next week and I've had those that read every single word I wrote in their daily notes. I absolutely adored those parents and put the extra effort into maintaining the notes. Still makes me smile when I see the memory of dcm reading the notes right at pick up.
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Unregistered 11:04 AM 12-13-2019
Originally Posted by janell999:
As a parent to 4 kids who routinely bring home crafts from school and sunday school.. I will say, I hate all the paper waste. These things get left in the car and trampled on, they get shoved in the bottom of a drawer when the child says they want to keep it forever etc. I keep the special ones, but honestly all that paper waste just gets dumped in the recycle bin.

As a daycare provider who does crafts with my kids in my care, I always give the parent the option to keep it, or hang it up here on the bulletin board for a time(then get put in the recycle bin). Most of the time the parent does not want the paper, unless it's something special.

So don't get offended, it's just too much clutter laying around. let the kids paint and color and craft, but don't force the perfect pinterest crafts. it's not worth the time.
+100
I don't do art for parents. We do it for kids. During daycare age, the art process is more important than the result. So, I don't expect that parents will accept each kid's art work as a priceless treasure.
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janell999 06:28 AM 12-14-2019
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
+100
I don't do art for parents. We do it for kids. During daycare age, the art process is more important than the result. So, I don't expect that parents will accept each kid's art work as a priceless treasure.
Yes. 100% yes. The process is more important than the result!
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Unregistered 05:35 PM 12-15-2019
To be fair, though a lot of crafts are too cookie cutter. Maybe it's because I teach my kids to be independent. If something goes home, it's 100% made by a kid. I would throw most of the crafts you guys make out. It's obvious an adult made it. Just because the child colored it or added glue/glitter, you still made it. Parents don't want that.
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Cat Herder 05:03 AM 12-16-2019
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
To be fair, though a lot of crafts are too cookie cutter. Maybe it's because I teach my kids to be independent. If something goes home, it's 100% made by a kid. I would throw most of the crafts you guys make out. It's obvious an adult made it. Just because the child colored it or added glue/glitter, you still made it. Parents don't want that.
And of course, you are speaking for yourself. Many parents/grandparents want heirloom crafts for baby books. Traditions. Different cultures have different views. Surely you have not forgotten that?
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janell999 03:22 PM 12-16-2019
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
And of course, you are speaking for yourself. Many parents/grandparents want heirloom crafts for baby books. Traditions. Different cultures have different views. Surely you have not forgotten that?
I don't think grandparents would want crafts that are made my their teachers. You can definitely tell when a 3 year old "creates" something and when a teacher makes them do a "craft". I would think most parents would want an authentic piece of art over an obviously teacher made craft.
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Tags:appreciation, effort, parents - don't appreciate, parents - don't want kids, parents - uninvolved
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