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CeriBear 05:32 AM 02-26-2020
I need advice. I have 4yo boy who is constantly telling me and my afternoon assistant lies. Once he told her that he had dropped his cookie and as it turned out he had eaten it. Once he came up to me and told me that another child had pinched him and when both the child and another child playing in the same area denied it he admitted he had made it up because he was mad. One day a little girl came up and told me had taken her scrunchie and when I asked him about it he denied it. Then I saw he had it on his wrist. Iíve tried reading books on being honest and talking about always telling the truth but this child doesnít seem to get it. Sending him to time out for telling lies doesnít work and Iím not big on time outs anyway. Iíve tried talking to mom and dad and they say he is not allowed to lie at home and that there are consequences for not being honest. Any advice here.
Cat Herder 05:48 AM 02-26-2020
What consequences do they use at home? Will they work in your environment? Are the parents willing to follow up at home for behaviors during your time?

Loss of privileges is generally the answer here. Of course, that depends on the child. Some sit out (crayons and paper at table) during part of sand and water play (preschool fave here). Some walk laps for part of playground time. Some wash toys during part of free play.

It depends on what the parents are on board with and the age of the child.
Ariana 08:50 AM 02-26-2020
It is typically a phase and just keep doing what you are doing. The only real consequence is that no one will believe him when he tells the truth and I would let him know that. Every time he told me something I might comment something like ďwell we know you are not always good about telling us the truth so I am not sure if I should believe youĒ. This might get his wheels turning.

Kids at this age are learning that adult cannot see what is in their heads and they play a lot with lying because of this. To them it is like a super power. I also notice some kids have a knee jerk reaction to say ďnoĒ to everything because they get scared.
CeriBear 05:06 AM 02-27-2020
Great advice all. Itís probably best to just keep on doing what Iíve been doing and hope it gets better. I have told all the kids that itís important to tell the truth because if they are constantly telling untruths I might not believe them the time they did tell the truth. (Boy who cried wolf)
Iíve talked to both parents and they say that if he lies at home he loses privileges like playing with the iPad, cookies for desert, or getting to play basketball with dad after dinner. The only think I can think of to do at school is to have him sit by himself or lose his daily job ( all my kids get a specific helper of the day job) when he lies to us.
Tags:consequences, discipline - consistency, parent lying
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