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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>20 Month Old With New Baby Sibling
Ac114 05:42 AM 03-11-2020
What would you do about a 20 month old child that is not handling the transition to having a baby brother very well? Mom and dad are both in their second week of maternity leave. I have had the child 10.5 hrs every single day. He gets picked up by 5:20 and in bed by 6:30-6:45 *because he is just so exhausted* he’s getting very little FaceTime with his parents so In turn he is a mess here. Crying on and off all day, hitting, taking toys, literally anything to have any attention-negative or positive. I’m done with the all day crying. Is this even something to explain to the parents that maybe he needs more time at home with mom and getting acclimated with the new baby or just call for pick up because of the non stop crying? They always revert him to a “routine baby” and are extremely rigid with it no matter what. ��
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Blackcat31 06:06 AM 03-11-2020
Originally Posted by Ac114:
What would you do about a 20 month old child that is not handling the transition to having a baby brother very well? Mom and dad are both in their second week of maternity leave. I have had the child 10.5 hrs every single day. He gets picked up by 5:20 and in bed by 6:30-6:45 *because he is just so exhausted* heís getting very little FaceTime with his parents so In turn he is a mess here. Crying on and off all day, hitting, taking toys, literally anything to have any attention-negative or positive. Iím done with the all day crying. Is this even something to explain to the parents that maybe he needs more time at home with mom and getting acclimated with the new baby or just call for pick up because of the non stop crying? They always revert him to a ďroutine babyĒ and are extremely rigid with it no matter what. ��
If both parents are home why is he there for 10.5 hours a day?

Whenever I have a parent on maternity leave I let them know I understand the importance of consistency and keeping a schedule the same for the older child but parents must understand that it's also a time in which their child needs them as much as the new baby does so while I welcome them to continue sending older sibling to care daily the max number of hours in care I will allow if a parent is home is 8.

IF a parent has a medical situation in which caring for both children is difficult I have waived this expectation but if there is no reason for it and especially if both parents are home I cap the max hours the older sibling is in care so that your situation does not happen.

I would consider capping the max hours in care for a child with BOTH parents home at 6. It's so important for the older sibling to be involved and not be "dumped" at daycare. I explain this from the stance of doing what is best for not only the older child but the family unit as well.
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Cat Herder 06:14 AM 03-11-2020
What were his hours before the sibling was born?
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Ac114 06:30 AM 03-11-2020
7:15-5:30 although mom works from home, not even 5 minutes from my house and is off by 4. I think Iím just feeling annoyed that this is their parenting style and Iím about to get an infant for over 10 hours a day when itís not needed.
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Cat Herder 07:08 AM 03-11-2020
Originally Posted by Ac114:
7:15-5:30 although mom works from home, not even 5 minutes from my house and is off by 4. I think I’m just feeling annoyed that this is their parenting style and I’m about to get an infant for over 10 hours a day when it’s not needed.
Got it.

I think you know what you have to do. Only changing your policies on hours will change them staying that long. I do open to close hours, too, and every single one of them does the same thing within a few months of enrolling. It is what they do, now.

The "Your kids don't need perfect parents, they need happy parents" dung. I'd love to point out that what kids really need is "present parents", but no one cares for that narrative these days.

Parent - It's a Verb
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Blackcat31 07:40 AM 03-11-2020
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
I'd love to point out that what kids really need is "present parents", but no one cares for that narrative these days.

Parent - It's a Verb
Sharing some difficult behaviors with a parent yesterday.
As I say something along the lines of how difficult it is to deal with/manage their child all day as well as how stressful it is the DCP literally said "Well better you than me"

They've made similar comments in the past such as "That's why they are in daycare all day" or

"I never would have had 3 kids if I had to stay home and couldn't send them to daycare"

and the ever popular "Good thing most their waking hours are spent at daycare"
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Snowmom 07:58 AM 03-11-2020
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Sharing some difficult behaviors with a parent yesterday.
As I say something along the lines of how difficult it is to deal with/manage their child all day as well as how stressful it is the DCP literally said "Well better you than me"

They've made similar comments in the past such as "That's why they are in daycare all day" or

"I never would have had 3 kids if I had to stay home and couldn't send them to daycare"

and the ever popular "Good thing most their waking hours are spent at daycare"
Dang!

Last Friday was a dcb's 4th birthday. The mom took the day off. Not to spend with the boy, because he was here open-close... to the dot. But she wanted to bake and decorate for his Saturday afternoon family party. All the pictures of her baking and decorating end up on instagram and FB Friday night (before the party) of course... because THAT is what is important these days... to create the facade of involved/good parenting.

Ac114: If it were me, I would reach out to his parents and say "in the best interest of dcb, you will be limiting his daycare hours to 9 hours/day." OR if you're not comfortable telling them that, then switch your policy to 9 hours max/day overall with a PREMIUM attached to anything OVER that (like $50/week). You'd be surprised who will change their hours to avoid paying extra.
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Ariana 11:42 AM 03-11-2020
I did tell parents that their child was suffering from lack of normal routine and face time with them when they had their new baby. Poor child started hitting and stuttering, sleep deprived...it was crazy! The two of them stayed at the hospital for a week while kid was shopped around to different people and my house. Sorry folks that is not how it works when you have another child!

They did listen and things went back to normal.
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Tags:hitting in daycare, maternity leave, new sibling, parent - its a verb, sleep deprived
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