How Much Do Your Own Kids Know About...

[QualiTcare]

let's say "the life cycle"..?? i was wondering after reading the thread about bathing together.

i've always answered my kid's questions and told them what they needed to know, but not more than they were satisfied with. for example, my kids knew that babies came from "down there" but apparently were confused about EXACTLY where they come from because a few days ago they were arguing about it when my daughter said, "mommy, tell him babies come from your butt!"

i told her where exactly they do come from and she seemed mortified. later that night she came into the living room and said, "are you SURE that's where babies come from?"

anyhow, people seem really uncomfortable to know that both of my kids (especially my son) know about menstruation - to a degree. i personally don't see how a child can live with a female and NOT figure it out - either by walking into the bathroom, having to go to the bathroom with you out in public, or seeing "evidence" of feminine products and asking questions. i've just told them that it's something "mommies do" and it helps them have babies. i don't see anything gross about it or think it's inappropriate for kids to know about since it's a natural part of life. i wouldn't hesitate to tell them the truth about that anymore than i would to tell them about breasts and breastmilk. what do you think?

[jessrlee]

My daughter is slightly older (10) so she has the basic groundwork. She is just hitting puberty so she knows all about her period, she knows about the products to help with it and where they are located. She also has an emergency supply in her purse. As for sex she doesn't have all of the deets but we are working up to a basic understanding of what sex is, why we should wait, open communication, and boys are ucky anyway! LOL! I'm not always sure how much info to give her but so far it has all been very factual and she has been really mature about it. (Thank GOD she doesn't do the "oh so and so is soooo cute!" thing yet!") If anyone else has/had a 10 year old girl I would love some tips. I don't want to go over the line but it seems like you have to! We have a 6th grader preggers in town!

[laundrymom]

I have 4. 19-9. So when the oldest was 5 the middle was born. I told him boys had two holes, one for pee one for poop Girls had an extra for babies. Through the years it cycled through my kids and by the time they were 3/4 they knew about them. I see no reason to give specifics until they ask. Each family is different and there is no one " right " way. I am completely open with my oldest 3. The 9 yr old has never asked how they get there so I've not told her but she knows all about periods, boy and girl diferences, correct terms, and general workings. But we still call them " girl parts" and " boy parts" to be considerate to the differing parenting styles of the kids here. She knows the correct terms but we use girl or boy parts. In daily conversation. Right or wrong it's our way.

[QualiTcare]

lol - mine haven't asked specifically how babies get there, but when finding out where they come from my daughter was saying, "i don't want to get pregnant! that will hurt!" etc. i told her she doesn't have to get pregnant if she doesn't want to, and the only way she would get pregnant is if she and her husband both decided they wanted to - which isn't a lie! then she started saying she's never getting married - she's going to have a bf for awhile and then say "see ya sucka!" and get another one and say "see ya sucka!"

i'm sure the next question after finding out babies don't come from your butt is HOW they get in your belly. i'm not looking forward to that one.

[Blackcat31]

My kids are pretty on top of what goes on in their personal area and others too....I should hope so since they are 22 and 19! LOL!!


On a serious note, though I was very open and honest with them about anything they asked. I tried not to tell them more than what they were ready to digest at the time and just made really sure that they were comfortable in asking me anything they wanted to know. I think for us that was the key; setting the comfort level so they knew they could ask anytime.

Myown mother gave me a book when I was 12 and said, "If you read this and have any questions, just ask." I remember thinking WTH? I already knew most of it from my friends but I thought she could have been a bit more open about it. I later learned that she was simply uncomfortable talking about it and that was how her mom handled it so thats how she did it too.....

I vowed to make sure I was closer to my own kids than that...and both are very comfortable asking. This came in handy when my dd wanted to have birth control when she 17. It helped that we were already comfortable taking about stuff in that topic.

[QualiTcare]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

My kids are pretty on top of what goes on in their personal area and others too....I should hope so since they are 22 and 19! LOL!!


On a serious note, though I was very open and honest with them about anything they asked. I tried not to tell them more than what they were ready to digest at the time and just made really sure that they were comfortable in asking me anything they wanted to know. I think for us that was the key; setting the comfort level so they knew they could ask anytime.

Myown mother gave me a book when I was 12 and said, "If you read this and have any questions, just ask." I remember thinking WTH? I already knew most of it from my friends but I thought she could have been a bit more open about it. I later learned that she was simply uncomfortable talking about it and that was how her mom handled it so thats how she did it too.....

I vowed to make sure I was closer to my own kids than that...and both are very comfortable asking. This came in handy when my dd wanted to have birth control when she 17. It helped that we were already comfortable taking about stuff in that topic.

my mom never talked to me either about anything - ever. i did have older siblings who told me pretty much everything i needed to know and then made a few things up along the way - like when they told me you could get pregnant from using a tampon.

my daughter is 6 (almost 7) and my son is 4 (almost 5) but everything they know so far is because i've answered questions they've asked. i'm surprised that laundrymom says her 9 year old hasn't asked about the "how" of babies bc i can't imagine at this rate i'll ever make it that long. maybe it's because someone already told her?

[DBug]

My boys (8 & 10) know the real names for all of the parts (internal and external) and they know the mechanics of baby-making, but I haven't gotten into menstruation with them yet. I know I need to, because as an un-informed teenager, my own husband got caught with his foot in his mouth on several occasions . I'm just not sure when I'm going to tell them. We have a kids' bathroom and a master bathroom in our house, so it's not like they'll come across my supplies and ask out of curiosity.

It better be soon though, because it'll start happening to their female classmates soon!

My 3 yo DD knows the names for boy parts, but not girl parts yet . I guess words for boy parts come up a lot more often when you do 5 potty breaks a day with 4 or 5 toddlers!

[SandeeAR]

Since mine are 27 and 29 and the 29 yr old is trying to get pregnant, they better TOTALLY understand it!

[Blackcat31]

A dcm brought me this book one day and I about choked as I read it!! It is hilarious, but very correct in how it explains the whole process. It uses cartoonish pictures and all but it shows pretty much everything and how it all works...if you have never seen it before, it is totally worth getting it from your library to look at.....probably one of the best informative and funny books on this topic out there....

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Mom.../9780811803502

[cillybean83]

my oldest is 8...and it's pretty entertaining to hear what HE thinks about all this stuff.

He asked me what a tampon was, so I told him that mommies bodies like to stay ready just in case a baby wants to grow in their tummy, and if after a few weeks, if no baby grows, all the blood that was getting ready for the baby has to get cleaned out, and tampons catch the blood. He says "so it's like changing the sheets...except in your guts and stuff?" I was like well...kinda except not in the guts, in the womb. He says "where's my room (womb)?" I told him only girls have a womb, it's also called a uterus...so he was content with that info, then a few days later he out of no where, at the dinner table, turns to my hubby and says "ya know...mom has a ute-eh-bus...and i don't"

[jen]

Originally Posted by QualiTcare

my mom never talked to me either about anything - ever. i did have older siblings who told me pretty much everything i needed to know and then made a few things up along the way - like when they told me you could get pregnant from using a tampon.

my daughter is 6 (almost 7) and my son is 4 (almost 5) but everything they know so far is because i've answered questions they've asked. i'm surprised that laundrymom says her 9 year old hasn't asked about the "how" of babies bc i can't imagine at this rate i'll ever make it that long. maybe it's because someone already told her?

I have a 7 & 11 year old (16 too, but he obviously knows whats up) and they have never asked....

[ammama]

My DD7 has asked how babies get in there (i'm pregnant right now, so she is pretty curious), and I don't know what to say. I tried the basic "when a mommy and daddy decide to have a baby.." talk, but then she got a bit freaked out thinking she might get pregnant at any minute. My DH thinks we should tell her the basic mechanics, that boy and girl parts fit together to make a baby, but I don't want to put that picture in her mind. I just told her i'll tell her more when she's a bit older. Bad cop out, I know, but I didn't know what else to say.

[QualiTcare]

Originally Posted by jen

I have a 7 & 11 year old (16 too, but he obviously knows whats up) and they have never asked....

so do you think they've learned elsewhere, possibly from your 16 year old - or have you had any "sit down" type talks before?

i would say my daughter was 4/5 when she started asking questions about babies and my son was three when he sort of accidentally learned about menstruation and went to inform his sister who started asking a million questions.

[QualiTcare]

Originally Posted by ammama

My DD7 has asked how babies get in there (i'm pregnant right now, so she is pretty curious), and I don't know what to say. I tried the basic "when a mommy and daddy decide to have a baby.." talk, but then she got a bit freaked out thinking she might get pregnant at any minute. My DH thinks we should tell her the basic mechanics, that boy and girl parts fit together to make a baby, but I don't want to put that picture in her mind. I just told her i'll tell her more when she's a bit older. Bad cop out, I know, but I didn't know what else to say.

that's exactly what mine did - freaked out acting like she could spontaneously get pregnant! that's when i told her it wasn't possible until she started her period and even then that she and her "husband" both had to DECIDE they wanted a baby. it's not lying - it's just giving enough info. to satisfy them until next time.

[jessrlee]

Just be careful not to make it a "big exciting secret". My mom told me at 12 that she would tell me about the birds and the bees when I got older. She never wanted to answer any questions or talk about it so later in life my boyfriend taught me all about the birds and the bees. I assure you, you don't want a 17 year old boy teaching your daughter lol! I still don't know what my mom was thinking!

[cillybean83]

i don't know about 17..but i recall my boyfriend when I was 19...and I much preferred his method of teaching over the stupid book my mom bought....tee hee

[jessrlee]

Originally Posted by cillybean83

i don't know about 17..but i recall my boyfriend when I was 19...and I much preferred his method of teaching over the stupid book my mom bought....tee hee

Lol! So very true! However I was 16 and I got pregnant. I kinda wish that mom had mentioned some things! Oh well it's all under the bridge now, but I'm making sure baby girl has the facts she needs!

[QualiTcare]

i didn't get pregnant at 16 and obviously i figured out on my own (or through the course of life without my mother's help) that not using protection would lead to pregnancy. BUT when i thought it would be a good idea to get on birth control, i was too big of a chicken because of horror stories i had heard about the obgyn and how much it hurt, etc. so i didn't go. i'm not blaming my mom for me getting pregnant, but i think if she would've taken the initiative to take me and get on birth control, i wouldn't have gotten pregnant when i did. i'll def. be talking to mine about it and escorting her to the obgyn if i have to hold her hand!

[jen]

Originally Posted by QualiTcare

so do you think they've learned elsewhere, possibly from your 16 year old - or have you had any "sit down" type talks before?

i would say my daughter was 4/5 when she started asking questions about babies and my son was three when he sort of accidentally learned about menstruation and went to inform his sister who started asking a million questions.

YIKES...my 16 y/o is way more responsible than to give that kind of information to his younger siblings. That is definitely a parents job. Plus, he is crazy protective, especially of his sister. He tells her frequently that he is going to follow her around high school and make sure she's behaving. Actually, he is pretty great with his brother too...they fight, but just the other night my 11 year was sick in the middle of the night. My 16 year old got him water, brought him back to bed, and gave him a bucket. Then he left me a note: "Don't wake up K, he's been sick all night."

With my 16 year old we are very open, especially about STD's and birth control, responsibility, and feelings, which I think we started with him at 13 or 14 and just have progressively kept the lines of communication open. My 11 year old knows about puberty, both from school and from us. My 7 year old knows that when Mommy's and Daddy's both want babies, they grow in the Mommy's tummy.

With the exception of school, they are pretty sheltered. I just think that they don't really need all that information before they hit at least 10. As for living with a female, we just don't have those kind of privacy issues. No one walks in on anyone else in the bathroom, I have my own (with hubby) bathroom, we always close doors, and I don't bring my kids in the stall with me in a public restroom.

LOL..so no, we don't shower with our kids after the age of about 2 either.

[safechner]

Well, my girls are not getting there just yet. They are 8 1/2 and 10 years old. However, my 8 1/2 years old daughter told me about "s**" that she heard from a 7 year old boy in the classroom from last year. She arrived home from school and told me about it and I was so pissed. The next day, I wrote an email to teacher and she forwards to vice principal. He called me to explain about what happened. I told him if I were him, I would call his parents about it because my daughter shouldn't know about it since she was only 7 years old. What the parents think but I am sure they probably did it front of him, who knows. He told me off the record, he called his parents about it. Later on, she asked me what does it really mean and I told her not to worry about it and I will tell her what is it when she becomes 11 or 12 years old. She understood but she never mentioned it to me again.

I am planning to tell my girls about everything when they turned 11 or 12 years old.

[QualiTcare]

Originally Posted by jen

YIKES...my 16 y/o is way more responsible than to give that kind of information to his younger siblings. That is definitely a parents job. Plus, he is crazy protective, especially of his sister. He tells her frequently that he is going to follow her around high school and make sure she's behaving. Actually, he is pretty great with his brother too...they fight, but just the other night my 11 year was sick in the middle of the night. My 16 year old got him water, brought him back to bed, and gave him a bucket. Then he left me a note: "Don't wake up K, he's been sick all night."

With my 16 year old we are very open, especially about STD's and birth control, responsibility, and feelings, which I think we started with him at 13 or 14 and just have progressively kept the lines of communication open. My 11 year old knows about puberty, both from school and from us. My 7 year old knows that when Mommy's and Daddy's both want babies, they grow in the Mommy's tummy.

With the exception of school, they are pretty sheltered. I just think that they don't really need all that information before they hit at least 10. As for living with a female, we just don't have those kind of privacy issues. No one walks in on anyone else in the bathroom, I have my own (with hubby) bathroom, we always close doors, and I don't bring my kids in the stall with me in a public restroom.

LOL..so no, we don't shower with our kids after the age of about 2 either.

that wasn't an insult - at least i didn't think it was. if you have an 11 year old an a 16 year old, he could've easily informed him of things well before he was as mature as he is now. it happens - my sisters told me all sorts of things especially when they were 12/13 and finding out what was "really going on" and i was 8/9.

my kids aren't sheltered in the sense that i don't want them to know things, but they don't go anywhere other than school so they haven't had the chance to be exposed to much - and the questions started before they even started school. so, i just find it odd that others are saying their older kids haven't even questioned things. i don't know why mine have/do if that's NOT typical. but when they do ask, i answer. i would think telling them they couldn't know yet would make them think it was "bad" or even worse - ask someone that gives an answer i REALLY don't want them to have.

as for the bathroom - i don't usually lock the bathroom, but i don't think it's a big deal for kids to know about menstruating at a young age anyway. i definitely did/do take my kids into stalls with me when i'm at the mall or grocery shopping. maybe i'm not very inventive, but what DO you do with a toddler in a public bathroom?

[GretasLittleFriends]

My older daughter knows about the facts of life, babies, diseases, menstruation, all of it. She is 15.

My son, who is 6 1/2 kind of knows how babies get here. He knows that when a dad and a mom hold each other closely, and the dad plants a seed into the mom's egg. That egg grows in mom's belly into a baby. Then when the time is right the mom goes to the hospital and the doctor helps the baby come out. This last part my son thought the doctor pushed the mom's tummy until it forced the baby out. haha He learned this because he has a 10mo old sister, and we had to explain why/how there was a baby growing in mom's tummy.

[QualiTcare]

Originally Posted by GretasLittleFriends

My older daughter knows about the facts of life, babies, diseases, menstruation, all of it. She is 15.

My son, who is 6 1/2 kind of knows how babies get here. He knows that when a dad and a mom hold each other closely, and the dad plants a seed into the mom's egg. That egg grows in mom's belly into a baby. Then when the time is right the mom goes to the hospital and the doctor helps the baby come out. This last part my son thought the doctor pushed the mom's tummy until it forced the baby out. haha He learned this because he has a 10mo old sister, and we had to explain why/how there was a baby growing in mom's tummy.

i guess that could be why my daughter has questioned things so young when other's children haven't - because she was barely 2 when i had my son. when she started asking questions, he was small and she remembered seeing me in the hospital, being pregnant, etc. i dunno, i can only assume. she's always been a really smart and really curious kid anyway. i guess honestly answering questions just leads to harder questions! of course when a curious kid asks where do babies REALLY come from and you tell them (the vagina vs. anus like i had to tell her) they're obviously going to want to know more. it's not easy to deal with. you don't want to say too much, but you don't want your kids being laughed at or more importantly not trusting you (which leads to not asking questions anymore) when they find out babies really don't come from a stork. no wonder the stork theory came about - it's waaay easier to stick to that story - until it's not easy anymore of course.

[dEHmom]

I didn't read all your posts but I would assume someone out there has the same thing happen.

My kids just tell everyone that mommy poops her pants and wears diapers.

My kids are way too young still to understand, and I tried explaining to my daughter because she's a little older(almost 7), but she still doesn't understand and she walks around telling everyone that when she gets old, she's going to bleed and have to wear diapers. I hit puberty before I was 11 yrs old, so I think it's important to just watch your daughters and let them know when you see it's about time. For some 10 yrs old to know this is too early. But I knew about it when I was 7 because I had older sisters.

As for where babies come from, mine just know they come from the tummy. My last was a c-sec so it works for us for now

I am completely open with my children though, dh gets soooo mad at me because they call their parts by the correct names. My mom taught my sis and I to call it a peach, well, I still can't bite into a whole peach, and umm...it still makes me giggle. HAHAHAHA.

Although dh taught boys to call theirs a pecker and MAN I HATE THAT!

[jen]

Originally Posted by QualiTcare

that wasn't an insult - at least i didn't think it was. if you have an 11 year old an a 16 year old, he could've easily informed him of things well before he was as mature as he is now. it happens - my sisters told me all sorts of things especially when they were 12/13 and finding out what was "really going on" and i was 8/9.

my kids aren't sheltered in the sense that i don't want them to know things, but they don't go anywhere other than school so they haven't had the chance to be exposed to much - and the questions started before they even started school. so, i just find it odd that others are saying their older kids haven't even questioned things. i don't know why mine have/do if that's NOT typical. but when they do ask, i answer. i would think telling them they couldn't know yet would make them think it was "bad" or even worse - ask someone that gives an answer i REALLY don't want them to have.

as for the bathroom - i don't usually lock the bathroom, but i don't think it's a big deal for kids to know about menstruating at a young age anyway. i definitely did/do take my kids into stalls with me when i'm at the mall or grocery shopping. maybe i'm not very inventive, but what DO you do with a toddler in a public bathroom?

LOL! I forgot I already answered!!!!!

[jen]

Did it TWICE! I think I need a nap!

I use medically correct language with mine. Still doesn't seem to fully understand but at least it's worded medically correct rather than nicknaming those types of things.