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#1
05-19-2010, 05:12 AM
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Termination Gone Wrong
So I wrote the following letter after realizing that this kid was not doing well in my care. He hardly ever showed up when he was supposed to, the parents keep him up till 9:30 at night and wanted me to have a much later schedule here. Feeding him and napping him at completely different times than the other children. This child was almost 2 yrs old. I'm so mad right now because i've never been talked to like this in my life. Please let me know if I did something wrong. I'm open to constructive critisicm. The following is the termination letter and than the correspondent e-mails that followed. I need you all's input as i'm very upset!!
Termination Notice Dear Someone and Someone, Please accept this letter as notice of termination of care for daycare kid. Care is terminated effective today, ______. Reason Given: As a small home daycare provider, I am allowed only 5 children in my care at once. I assumed that it would be easy scheduling a part time child like Daycare Kid for only 2 days a week, as long as I received advanced notice of days and times. However, Daycare Kid has been more of a drop-in with days and times constantly changing at the spur of the moment or with “late” notice. I understand your situation completely and how you need a lot of flexibility, however, I am not able to give you that kind of flexibility. I have been unable to schedule an assistant appropriately with such late notice and I’ve either scheduled her too much or too little. I try to plan our meal schedule according to what each child likes on the days they are here, however this has also been difficult. Depending on the kids I have each day and their ages, we plan field trips, walks, crafts, activities and play-dates within the neighborhood accordingly. However, I have been unable to do any of these things while waiting to find out whether Daycare Kid will show up. The last concern I have is for Daycare Kid. Though I understand there is an adjustment period and you all have moved around quite a bit recently, I believe the lack of a regular schedule is making it extremely difficult for Daycare Kid to adjust to being here. He cries most of the day even after lots of comforting and individualized attention. I had spoken with mom briefly about his schedule at home, and understand it changes from day to day and is VERY different from our schedule here. I believe it is in our best interest to part ways. I hope you are able to find a daycare that will be a better fit for your needs as well as Daycare Kid's. Please let me know should you have trouble finding care and need an additional day or two here. I'd be more than happy to help. I wish you and your family all the best. Sincerely, Provider Between Me and the Mom: ME: Dear Mom, I hope Daycare Kid is doing well and I guess you were able to find new care quickly as I didn't hear back from you. Once again, I'm sorry I couldn't be as flexible as you all needed but I knew there were others out there who could be! As a reminder, we didn't receive payment for his last day in care. I didn't expect the full $60 as he was not here but once that week. However, you owe $30 for the one day. I'm sure it was just overlooked and I understand that. If you all wouldn't mind sending the $30 as soon as possible, I'd appreciate it. Please let me know what your plans are regarding payment. Thank you! My address is ________________. MOM: You really left us in a bind. You expected us to give you two weeks notice if we weren't bringing Daycare Kid back, but we weren't afforded the same courtesy. We didn't bring Daycare Kid back since you didn't want him there and it was too difficult for you to give him two naps a day. We couldn't find daycare and my husband had to take vacation time that week to help me when I had a doctor's appointment. That is time he won't get to spend with me when the new baby comes. I will be in your neighborhood Thursday or Friday. I will deliver the money to your house and leave it for you if it is that important. . ME: I did not leave you in a bind. I told your husband that I would help you out until you found something if you needed it, but you all never called me. Ask him about that. My contract stated that I be given advanced notice of Daycare Kid's schedule. Unfortunately I was always told the very last minute of changes and alot of times I was called "after" Daycare Kid was supposed to have arrived. I can't operate like that. That is why I said "advanced" notice in the contract. I paid an assistant to be at my house every time Daycare Kid was supposed to come, as we were going to be full that day. However, when Daycare Kid didn't show up I ended up paying her needlessly and than having to schedule her again when Daycare Kid was rescheduled. I was losing more money than I was making. It was never too difficult to give him two naps a day. I never said that. You never discussed this with me, and I just went ahead and stuck to the schedule I gave you when you interviewed me. Like most daycares, naptime for an 18 month old and older is after lunch. Had you wanted me to change that, you should have talked to me. However it sounds like Daycare Kid's schedule at home is extremely different than the schedule I had for the children in my care. The issue you brought up with me was that you needed his nap to be much later in the day so you could keep him up till 9:30. I couldn't accomodate that and I'm sorry. A smaller daycare with less children would be better able to accomodate different schedules and I knew Daycare Kid would be better off with something different. I'm sorry you feel I left you in a bind, however, I did offer to help if you needed it a little longer. Rather than calling and discussing it with me, you chose to have your husband take vacation time. That was your choice. I do wish you the best of luck in your pregnancy. Yes, I do feel payment is important as I took good care of your son while he was in my care, and those were my rates. It's the principal of being honest. MOM: You did leave us in a bind. Why would I bring my child back to someone's house who did not want to watch him there. Daycare Kid is perceptive when people do not want him around so why would I bring him to you. Whenever I filled out the paperwork for Daycare Kid to go to daycare, I filled out that Daycare Kid took two naps. Plus, we did discuss it the Friday before you expelled him from your daycare. We did give you advance warning that Daycare Kid was coming. I might have brought him later than 7:30 am, because I was throwing up all morning, but we did bring him on those days (they brought him at 11am some days without calling until 10 minutes before). The week I was sick, I know we changed the days, but we gave you at least a days notice (it was 9pm the night before or morning of). I thought that you were a small daycare that would be more concerned with the welfare of the children and their schedules instead of your own schedule. I can't believe you are insinuating that we are not honest. If the money was that important, then you should have mentioned it when you cancelled your services with us instead of waiting a few weeks and then cowardly sending an e-mail instead of picking up the phone and calling. I would like all of the paperwork we filled out mailed to us along with the documents we need for our taxes. Our new address will be _________________. This is our last conversation. I will leave the money on your doorstep later this week. . ME: Where could you possibly get the idea that I didn't "want" Daycare Kid. Daycare Kid was not doing well here and I couldn't accomodate the constant changing of drop off days. I wasn't mad about it, I wasn't even mad at Daycare Kid nor could I be. He is an adorable little boy and I was disappointed it wasn't going to work. I didn't want to give you all two weeks notice because than you would have been stuck with me for two weeks even if you found other arrangements. I thought I was helping you out by allowing you off the hook if you found something, while letting your husband know I could help if you needed it a little longer. The schedule I have and try to stick to was built with the help of a pediatricians recommendation for kids and every parent I currently have in care. I have changed it slightly here and there to make it work for the group as a whole, however, I cannot have every child on a completely different schedule because it would be unsafe. I'd have to leave some of them downstairs, some of them outiside or some of them eating/sleeping by themselves. It didn't make any sense, so that is why I stick to a schedule that is best for the kids and not "my own" schedule. It had nothing to do with what I wanted. I'm very hurt that you would say these things. I didn't mention the money because I thought you guys seemed like the type of people who would pay and I figured you'd send it in the mail. I gave you a little while longer thinking you might have forgotten or it was taken a while to get here in the mail. I even left off the late fees. If you would like me to call you I can. I'm not being a coward and I'm very hurt that you swould say such awful things to me. You stated that you didn't think paying me was important and I said it was because it was the principal of being honest. I didn't call you dishonest, just stating that you should pay when you have services given. I'm really sad that you have found such hatred towards me. I never meant to hurt any of you and I was actually looking out for Daycare Kid when I let him go, as well as the other children in my daycare. I'm sorry if this hurt you or if you assumed that I didn't "like" daycare kid, but those are all assumptions and not the truth. I even said in my letter that someone else will probably better suit your schedules than I can. I'm running on very strict guidelines from social services and having to have an assistant as well as a minimum number of children in care make it a little more difficult to accomodate part timers, especially if the schedule constantly changes. I also stated that Daycare Kid was crying ALOT here, and didn't seem like he was adjusting. I was trying to be very honest. I wish you all the best of luck, despite the horrible things you have said to me and hope you can find it in your heart to understand I was not trying to be mean when I let Daycare Kid go or terminated immediately. I was letting you out of the contract immediately and told your husband I'd help if you needed it. I should have called and discussed this with you, not just your husband, and i'm sorry I didn't. I figured you'd call me if you had any questions or needed me further. As for the paperwork, I have to keep the paperwork on file for a year by law. If it's copies you need, please let me know which pages and I will fax or mail them to you. We don't do tax forms until tax season. I am able to put your new address on file and I can get that document to you as soon as it is prepared later this year. Let me know if you need anything else. MOM: I don't hate you. I just think this is a messed up situation. You will get your money. Now please leave me alone. 
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#2
05-19-2010, 05:38 AM
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Your original letter and responses were excellent. Some people will never be happy, think they know it all, and will continue to cause issues, even when the issue is "closed". They are going to have a very hard time finding a provider who will cater to their every whim.
__________________
mom to many.
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#3
05-19-2010, 05:41 AM
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Personally I prefer email over phone calls because it is all documented for you to keep...which I would for a very long time just in case. My one family we had issues with I was SO glad that I had kept emails. Her complaint was that I left the house too much and left the kids with my assistant. I had emails stating I had to drive to her work for the payments she neglected to pay us on time, drive out to get formula and diapers because they didn't bring any etc.
I think no matter what the mom doesn't want to hear anything negative about her child...who would though? Sucks all around!!
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#4
05-19-2010, 05:46 AM
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wow.
i would've been shocked to see all of that in a letter. also, from the sound of the letter, it doesn't seem like you were willing to keep him until they found someone. a day or two? i can see how they were put in a bind. you can do what you want, and it's already done. i'm just sayin - i see how they'd be upset getting a loaded letter with short notice. i wouldn't expect to get that $30, and i'd be surprised if she brought it.
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#5
05-19-2010, 05:56 AM
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#6
05-19-2010, 06:08 AM
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i still think it was a lot to put in writing. did you talk to them about the scheduling problem before this? i mean, really tell them they had to do x,y,z or you weren't going to be able to keep him anymore. Last edited by Michael; 05-19-2010 at 08:39 AM.
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#7
05-19-2010, 06:11 AM
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#8
05-19-2010, 06:18 AM
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WORST PART THOUGH: They are moving into MY neighborhood. I will have to see them again and again and they will meet all my friends. It's an awful situation.... Last edited by Michael; 05-19-2010 at 08:40 AM.
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#9
05-19-2010, 06:27 AM
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I can give you a great bit of advice for the future.
You don't have to explain ANYTHING to parents regarding giving them notice. This whole thing could have been avoided by you giving them notice once they paid up for what they have used and you simply telling them that you made a change in your business structure that does not include the schedule they need for their family. You don't have to be specific to what that change is. You don't have to get personal. Just a business decision. Offer them a two week notice which they will rarely ever use because they are pissed. If they take you up on it.. get thru it with a big fat smile on your face. End. McDonalds doesn't EXPLAIN to customers why they their BBQ pork sandwiches off of their menu. It's none of our business. They offer what they offer. Day care is the same. Providers get into these kinds of discussions with parents because they feel they NEED to explain... need to clarify... need to justify... need to give the parent the life experience of having a consequence for their behavior... need to FINALLY be in the one up position... need to get even... need to tell THEM what you are going to do as opposed to THEM telling YOU what THEY are going to do... etc. etc. None of that is EVER necessary. Once they move on they won't give you a second thought. They don't care what you think. They don't care how you felt. They don't care about you in ANY way. They want a YES today and your worth is ONLY for that YES today. Once you give them a NO they have NO use for you. Why discuss it? Why do anything BUT give them the NO? When a parent is getting away with what you have allowed them to get away with they are going to be SUPER mad when they get the NO. They know that it's going to be really hard to find someone to just let them come whenever they want and only pay for the days they do decide to come. They know that it's going to be EXTREMELY difficult to find someone with an open slot that they can have access to any day of the week any time of the week. They KNOW they aren't going to be able to have that schedule AND be able to pick and choose a routine and schedule for their child while they are there. You have given them the DREAM situation. They get to do what they want AND be jerks about it while they are getting the great deal. Now who would want that to end? Of course they are going to act out. They've been acting out with you from the begining and they want that to continue. They are going to have a hard time finding someone who will let them behave badly and they know it. I would advise NOT allowing less than three day a week schedules that are FIXED schedules. If the parent chooses not to bring the child on the fixed days then any other days they use must be paid for in ADDITION to the fixed days AND they must call to confirm that they can HAVE those additional days on a day to day basis. Make sure you say NO to them for the additional days quite a bit in the begining so they get the message that if there is any chance they DO need additional days they need to pay for that weekly in advance and scheduled. Don't ever allow a parent to decide your schedule with the kid in your house. You tell them what you offer and if they don't like it they can hurry on down the street. I would never be able to get my clients to agree on a schedule for the kids. I couldn't get them to agree on what kind of paper towels I should use. I would NEVER allow them to tell me what I was going to do with their kids in my house. They don't care for their child in a group. They couldn't POSSIBLY know what you MUST do for the group, your children, and YOU during the day to make this whole thing work. The parents would be the last people on the planet I would allow to decide their kids schedule. This is MY house and I decide what we do in MY house. Lesson learned. Take the 30 dollar hit if you have to and have them be gone from your life and your mind.
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#10
05-19-2010, 06:33 AM
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I don't think that you were at all wrong for terminating. The one thing I have learned (the hard way) is it is best not to get in to these conversations with parents. They are hurt and upset and you just can't win.
Short and sweet! For termination: Due to incompatible schedules I will no longer be able to care for your child as of (two weeks). If you find alternative care prior to that date, please feel free to begin that care immediately. For the remainder of his time with me I will need a schedule for each week by Sunday evening. If you have not arrived within 30 minutes of your scheduled arrival time I will need to send home my assistant home and I will no longer be able to accomodate you for that day. In response to the other stuff: "I am sorry that you feel that way. It was certainly not my intention. We think dcb is a wonderful child and will thrive in the appropriate setting.
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#12
05-19-2010, 07:45 AM
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I think you were well within your right to terminate this family but I would have given them two weeks notice though. Especially since they weren't expected to be there anyway.
I am on the same page with nannyde and jen and agree that the original termination letter had too much information. Short and to the point works best. At the mom's request, I would suggest that you not contact her again. If she doesn't pay you the $30, you have to just chalk that one up as a cost of doing business. You might want to consider having parents pay in advance of care so that you don't get stuck again. I think you handled yourself professionally.
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#13
05-19-2010, 08:59 AM
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I like to explain myself and would have LOVED to explain to a couple parents I let go a few things and give them my mind, but I knew it would be worse off, so I just kept my mouth shut, let them go quietly. From now on, that's what you have to do.....I have learned that you can't please everyone and when terminating, it makes parents EXTREEMLY defensive.
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#14
05-19-2010, 09:27 AM
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#15
05-19-2010, 11:17 AM
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After reading your letter, emails and her responses I don't see anything wrong other than you did not give them 2 weeks notice. The notice itself looks like you're leaving them in the lurch and terminating immediately. I would have added your offer of being available in case they needed you or given them a two weeks notice with the choice to opt not to use it with no additional cost.
Everything else was well worded and explanitory. You explained your conversation with her husband to make sure that she understood that you did in fact offer. One thing that I do different however when I am terming a child is not to give a real explination in the termination letter itself. I simply say something like "I am unable to provide the services that your child/family needs". That way I'm letting them go and there is no real reason. If they want to discuss the reasons why I am terming them then I will e-mail so that I have a paper trail but even in that explination I am vague. Either way she's gone and soon so will your headache.
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#16
05-19-2010, 03:02 PM
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#17
05-19-2010, 04:10 PM
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Nothing wrong with what you did.
From past experience, I would keep it short and sweet. Parents always get defensive no matter what. I have learned that when giving a negative, I have to give two positive statements for each negative. Hard to do. I run out of positive statements hence a short letter. lol
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#18
05-19-2010, 07:52 PM
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#19
05-20-2010, 05:18 AM
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Parents who have their kids in Centers don't have that much power. If they pull out the Center looses one percent or so depending on the size. In home day care it can be 15-25 percent for the average home day care. This is the dynamic that makes the relationship so unique. My comparison is that we don't have to explain to parents WHY we don't offer a service they want. In the situation of the OP there wasn't any reason at all to be that specific with the parents. The parents wanted drop in care, control over the child's schedule whenever he DID show up, and only pay for whatever days they decided to bring him. Those are services very few providers offer. It's even more rare with successful providers because there is no money in it and the amount of work involved for the money you do get is not worth the effort. Loose loose for the provider. Win win for the parents... until the provider discontinues the service. Once that happens... well see above. All the provider had to do was notify the parents that she doesn't provide the service anymore and she is giving them two weeks to make other arrangements. During that two week time the parents would need to provide a SET schedule and pay in advance on pay day for the set schedule. If the parents asks what services the provider DOES provide she can firmly say "full time slots only with set schedules (arrival and departure time) and the child maintain the same schedule as the other children". That's what I now offer. Want it? End of story. If the parents gets upset (which they will when they are getting THIS big of a NO) then the solution is always just discontinue services without payment and we will all be square. If you read the Mom's emails she said everything in one sentence "I thought that you were a small daycare that would be more concerned with the welfare of the children and their schedules instead of your own schedule. BAM that's the money shot. She wants the provider to do what she wants her to do "for the sake of the child" but not for the sake of money, good working conditions, a happy provider, a stable group, etc. When you have parents talking about "flexibility" you might as well bend over because flexibility almost ALWAYS means that they do what they want and you get paid either a regular amount that you would normally get daily for a regular kid or even less. If you are going to be FLEXIBLE then you must have a markedly higher daily rate for flexibility. Flexible for the sake of the child means the parents get cheap drop in day care whenever they want and just pay for those days. Flexibility for the "sake of the child" means you do as you are told. Nan
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#20
05-20-2010, 06:19 AM
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Honestly, Nannyde, you are like the Daycare Whisperer LOL! I love your wisdom. I think you should write a book. I think what you are saying is right on, as usual.
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#21
05-20-2010, 06:36 AM
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 Judy Trickett should write a book. She's the best writer day care peep I know.
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#23
05-20-2010, 08:43 AM
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Update:
Well, I got payment. We found it at the front door a few minutes ago. I am so hurt by this parent and how much she hates me.
 Uploaded with ImageShack.us
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#24
05-20-2010, 08:54 AM
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Um,
Wow, That actually made my jaw drop. Doesn't look like $30 worth of pennies though. I would take it to the bank to make sure. What an itchy bee. You are much better off without the person in your life and I'm sorry they are moving near you. Make sure you document all this stuff in case they decide to start making accusations with licensing. She seems like the type.
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#25
05-20-2010, 08:55 AM
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Aww! Don't let it bother you. She is mad because she didn't get her own way! Take your change to the bank, run it through the change thing, and then use it to go buy yourself a treat!
I'm sure a BIG part of her anger stems from the fact that she can't find anyone to do what you were doing for her. Her loss, she should have been cooperative.
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#26
05-20-2010, 09:04 AM
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((hugs)) What a couple of jerks! Good riddance to that family! I know it's easier said than done, but try to move on and not take it so personally. Some people are just hateful and will not be budged once they decide they want to dislike someone. ::cough:: my MIL ::cough, cough:: Just be glad you aren't related to them! You gave that dad notice. You did NOTHING wrong. I'd take that bag to one of those coinstar machines (or even better if they have one of those fancy ones that spins the money around first, kids get such a kick out of those) and let the kids put it in and have fun with it. When life hands you lemons, you make lemonade! That or if you can afford it, donate the money to a charitable cause. It'll make you feel good (at least it does me) and that can be your last act to wash your hands of them and the whole situation.
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#27
05-20-2010, 09:45 AM
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Wow, that's alot of pennies
 . That is one of the most snotty things I've ever seen someone do! I'm guessing this woman is more than a little passive aggressive! She's likely looking for some sort of reaction from you, just so that she can have the satisfaction of knowing she got back at you -- but don't let her have it! Don't contact her in any way. And the next time you see her, pretend everything is absolutely perfect, and thank her for getting the payment to you (with sincerity). But whatever you do, don't give her the satisfaction. And yeah, whoever suggested that you should use the money to treat yourself was right on. Do something nice for yourself!
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#28
05-20-2010, 09:55 AM
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Oh wow. Definitely a bully move.
Don't take it hard. She just has "last worditis". She THINKS she had the last word but really you did. She's been abusing your kindness and good will for so long and YOU said "no more". That, my friend, was the LAST word. Get the pennies to a sorter as soon as you can.. take the money and do something really nice for your family. Don't be upset if it is short. It most likely is. She probably just dumped her change piggy bank into a ziploc so it's probably not the amount it should be. Whatever the amount just use it for something really nice for your kids and yourself and then don't give her another moments thought. Have a double dip chocolate twist cone and think of all of us who were here to help you thru it. Ya gotta remember that EVERY business has freak customers. We aren't immune to that. You don't get to bypass that segment of the human population. Just because someone has a kid doesn't make them intrinsically a good person. Many a jerk is a parent. Big hugs to you. If you want someone to talk to you can p.m. me thru this site and I will send you my phone number. Good luck and shake it off mate. 
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#29
05-20-2010, 10:01 AM
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LMAO!!! I'm so sorry to laugh but I think that it's halarious that this family acts so childish. I have to give her credit for creativity. I feel for you honey. Now, I'm a smart-ass so just for kicks I'd remove like two pennies and write en e-mail that went something like this:
Dear Family, I am writing to you to confirm and thank you for your promt payment of the monies that were still owed to me. As I went through and counted it however I found that it was short .02. Please let me know when you will be back to pay the remaining balance owed. Sincerely Me  Okay I dunno if I'd actually do it but I know I'd really really REALLY want to. Either that or tell her that there was an overpayment of .02 and mail them to her. If someone did something like this to me I'd see it as a challenge and I'm sorry to say that I am not above lowering myself to that level. I am not the type to be outdone or to let the other person have tha last laugh. (still chuckling at the thought of having a family drop a bag of 3,000 pennies on my porch).
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#30
05-20-2010, 10:04 AM
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On the flip side...
Maybe this is a little snotty, but since you didn't charge her any late fees and were only requiring she pay you $30, if it were me I would definitely return any extra coins over the $30. Either in person or with a note stating that she over paid by x amount and you were returning it to her. This way you show you were honest AND that it didn't seem to bother you.
__________________
Give a little love to a child, and you get a great deal back.
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#31
05-20-2010, 10:07 AM
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After seeing that picture, I almost screamed at the computer! That is the rudest and most disrespectful thing I have seen in quite some time! I agree with a PP, good riddance to getting rid of that family. If they are capable of doing something so disrespectful, I would not give them another thought. As for them about to be your neighbors, I would make sure your friends/neighbors know exactly what they did.....obviously if it comes up in conversation.
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#32
05-20-2010, 10:18 AM
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Dear Bully Parent, Thanks you SO much for the payment for DCB's final bill. I LOVE pennies. I have been collecting wheat pennies since I was nine years old! I haven't had time to go thru all of them yet but you are NOT going to believe this... I found a wonderful addition to my collection!!!!!! Whooo Hoooooo Did you realize you had a 1914-D? They are worth nearly $150!!! OMG  I'm so excited I could burst. http://cgi.ebay.com/1914-D-LINCOLN-W...item20b0f32ef7 I'm tempted to sell it but you know me.. I'll probably hold onto it way longer than I should. It was a difficult transition for both of us to make but thanks to you I have a wonderful gift to remind me of our time together. Thank you SO much. Good luck to you and your wonderful family.
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#33
05-20-2010, 10:28 AM
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i'm glad you said it. i was beginning to think i am pure evil.
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#34
05-20-2010, 10:32 AM
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#35
05-20-2010, 10:35 AM
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#36
05-20-2010, 10:38 AM
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#39
05-20-2010, 10:51 AM
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#40
05-20-2010, 11:13 AM
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I soooooo vote for this! this has gone past balance and is just spiteful! OR,.....
I would write one that says, dear parent, you enclosed too much, I am refunding your overpayment in the amount of $0.02. lolololol give her a check for 2 cents!!! Quote:
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#41
05-20-2010, 11:30 AM
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Nannyde, I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE that idea! My jaw actually dropped, too, when I saw that picture, and I was thinking some pretty evil thoughts myself. But honestly, Vesta cracked me up with the "itchy bee" thing and then this with the wheat penny. You guys made me laugh so hard today, and I cannot even begin to tell you how much I needed that.
I would do the wheat penny thing if it was the last thing I did. Of course, I'm from the south, and every evil thing we say is always dripping with honey. . . and acid. This would be right up my alley, y'all .
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#42
05-20-2010, 12:18 PM
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This thread turned into such a great read. I made it the "Top Topic" on the from page of Daycare.com and I think I will leave it up a few more days. Just too funny some of the brilliant "solutions" presented.
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#43
05-20-2010, 12:30 PM
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I like.
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#44
05-20-2010, 01:31 PM
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OMG!!! I love it!!!
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#45
05-20-2010, 01:40 PM
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I have never had that many pennies at one time (except when I was a kid), so if I did something like this (which I wouldn't because I'm actually an adult), I would have to take $30 to the bank and ask them to exchange the bills for pennies. If she did that, I wonder how embarrassing it must have been and what the teller was thinking? And for what? To stick it to you? Yeah, that makes a lot of sense!
Love the "write her a check for $0.02 as an overpayment" idea. And the "priceless, rare penny" idea was beyond genius!!!!
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#46
05-20-2010, 04:41 PM
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#47
05-20-2010, 05:58 PM
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Go back to their house, knock on the door and tell them you changed your mind. Then walk over, and toss those pennies ALL over the front lawn. Just imagine trying to cut that freaking grass!! It will be like a shrapnel fire!! No seriously....write them a letter and simply say, "Thanks for your payment". It's passive aggressive and if they don't "get your goat" they will be even more pissed off! PLUS, YOU look like the professional!
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#48
05-20-2010, 07:44 PM
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#49
05-20-2010, 08:24 PM
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it would be reeeeally hard not to say anything to her. i'd be so tempted to send her an email, but - knowing that's exactly what she wants/expects would be enough to keep me from doing it.
she's probably checking her inbox 10 times a day just to see how bad she ticked you off. i wouldn't give her the satisfaction.
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#50
05-20-2010, 09:00 PM
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#51
05-21-2010, 12:14 AM
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I'm so sorry what a rude former client. I'm torn between which suggestion that I like. Having just ended 8 years in banking as a teller I saw this quite frequently. Its a common I'm mad at u practice. Banks would even get it. One would go to there own bank and get boxes of pennies ( a box is 50$) or thousands in ones and pay their lines of credit or morgages or other loans and come to our bank and make a payment or a pay off as though they had the higher hand. Most often though it was a college kid who was upset with a roomate and they would pay rent in that way.
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#52
05-21-2010, 07:05 AM
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I had to peek back in and see what was making this thread so long! I can't believe that she did that...wait. I can. People can be real idiots and I agree. Go to the bank, have it counted and then return anything over $30. Send her a receipt. Be done. Be the bigger person.
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#53
05-21-2010, 07:40 PM
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You could send her a statement telling her that she shorted you by 3 cents and you still demand to be paid in full
HAHA just kiddingI agree...be the bigger person and don't give her any satisfaction! Now take a deep breath and say...it's over
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#55
05-22-2010, 05:26 PM
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You could send her a receipt for each penny!!
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#56
05-24-2010, 06:23 AM
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Oh my gosh!!! This as turned into the funniest thing ever; and I don't mean to laugh, but seriouly, I can't believe some one did that!!
A receipt thanking her for prompt payment is in order, with a little note saying: thank you so much for the coin rolling segment, each child got to roll pennies, and keep the roll for a special treat, it was a great money learning segment.
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#57
05-24-2010, 07:29 AM
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Did you cash them in to find out the exact amount yet?
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#58
05-24-2010, 04:22 PM
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I haven't been on for a few days, but got an e-mail from Michael saying the hot topic was termination gone wrong, so I checked it out. Oh, this is great! I, too, needed a good laugh. I'm sorry you had to mess with this dcm, I don't think you did anything wrong (although responding to her e-mail wouldn't do any good. When someone is mad and say things that are just not true, responding to them doesn't change their mind and make them think, "oh she's right. I was wrong. I need to apologize to provider". But I'm sure you know that). and I know I myself would have probably done the same thing and tried to "defend" myself, knowing I didn't do anything wrong.
When I first saw that bag of pennies, I thought you were kidding, but when I realized you were serious, I burst out laughing (earning a few strange looks lol). I had to share this post with my family!
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#59
05-24-2010, 04:57 PM
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#60
05-25-2010, 12:55 PM
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Bwahahahahahaaaaaa!
$0.02 OVERAGE?
HILARIOUS!!!!
__________________
 (H)ave (O)nly (P)ositive (E)xpectations --H O P E!
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#61
05-25-2010, 01:01 PM
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A rib fracture from laughing hysterically?
That should get her goat!
__________________
(H)ave (O)nly (P)ositive (E)xpectations --H O P E!
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#63
05-26-2010, 11:41 AM
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Here's what I'm wondering: Did you discuss any of this verbally with her before termination letter? I had a new girl start in April who's mom was told in the interview I close at 5:15. First week she came 5:30-5:50. Friday of that week I verbally said, "For this to work I really need her picked up by 5:15. I'd even be fine with 5:20." She has come at 5:10 ever since. I think if you had just mentioned about hiring the assistant and paying her for no reason and mention to her that the nap schedule just isn't working very well for me and could I maybe try to get him on a schedule that fits better in my daycare...etc. Basically, I'm asking was this TALKED about before you decided to terminate? If you just sprang the termination on the parent with zero discussion, I'd be miffed too if I were her.
My next comment, and this is assuming something was discussed verbally before you gave her the termination letter: I think you over-explained. I would just state that their varied schedule is just not working, and upon much reflection, you've decided to discontinue your contract with the family on X date (2 weeks from date of letter.) Don't go into lengthy explanation of what they did wrong and why it ticked you off. People don't take things well when it concerns their kids. Just stick to the brief facts, be totally professional and business-like, and be done with it. And in any further correspondence, I would never get argumentative. Just keep it on a business level (and think rotten things in your mind LOL). Also, I agree with the mom that the remaining balance due should have DEFINITELY been included in the termination letter. All that being said, I do not blame you for terminating, and I'm not trying to be on the mom's side. You asked for constructive criticism, and I'm just being honest and saying what I have done in the past. Basically... verbal communication first, then termination letter short and to the point including balance due.
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#64
05-26-2010, 11:46 AM
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#65
08-21-2011, 10:58 PM
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I'm hip
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People will try you anytime they think they can get away with it. That's the kind of world we're living in...do as I say, not as I do. Enjoy your penny bag for what it's worth and keep it moving!
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#66
08-22-2011, 09:34 AM
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I agree you don't have to explain any termination, but getting a parent mad at you does have consequences. Either they falsely report you or bad mouth you to others in the community. I have found its much better to be nice and say your hours are changing, or you are scaling down. In this case, at least she did pay and who cares if its in pennies??
Wouldn't bother me in the least bit, and its true she went to a lot of trouble just to do that which only leads me to conclude she is NUTS!!! I only wish we could administer psy. test to parents before picking them up...."What does this picture remind you of" and so fourth, lol. You can check them out quite a bit on the internet, and in the county records; but still its not fool proof. Over the years I've had a few nasty people, and it was always over money, and their unwillingness to understand I provide a valuable service, that is not dependent on their pay schedule, or what they think or WHEN they should pay me. The really rude ones are the ones who drop on a thur. or fri. and refuse to pay for the following week, thus the week notice they agreed to. I don't go to small claims, its not enough to warrant that, but I've provided information that got two garnished. And one is currently in trouble for mortgage fraud.... Apparently some think because we do daycare out of our homes that we can be taken advantage of, or we have no recourse. On the upside.. over the years most of my parents have been great and we have a great relationship. Its just the bad apples I don't have a tolerance for.
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#67
08-22-2011, 04:44 PM
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Take the money to the bank and find out exactly how much is there.
Then, She needs a receipt right? For taxes??? Type/write one for 3000 pennies. She will surely get questioned if she turns her stuff over to a CPA
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#68
08-22-2011, 07:48 PM
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this would be a great one to do; but first count the money just to make sure it's really $30 worth of pennies.
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#69
03-05-2013, 06:35 PM
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I can see both sides. But i would have to side with the mom. it's such bullstuff that parents need to give notice before leaving and a daycare provider can just terminate with absolutely no notice. that DOES leave a parent in a bind. I wouldn't have given you the thirty dollars either.
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#71
03-06-2013, 04:57 AM
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I loved that thread. One of the best threads EVER on daycare.com
__________________
http://www.amazon.com/Daycare-Whispe...=doing+daycare
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#72
03-06-2013, 06:07 AM
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This quoted response is what I would have done.
In my honest opinion, I think the entire bottom portion of your original post was an invitation for trouble. I would have given 2weeks, smiled and wished them well. As for the pennies, rofl. That's funny, I don't care who you are. I would never have gotten into a pi$$ing match through email. Each mail you sent sounded more and more like you were whining that she had moved on. I think mom was very professional ( until the pennies) and you did term in writing effective immediately. No matter your words w dad, you spelled out in black and white the words that made her feel unwelcome. If I were mom, I would have not been as professional. I'm really not a mean person, look through my previous posts, I simply am honest with what I see and behind every post I make is 26 years of being a licensed family childcare provider. I hope not to offend. Good luck with however you choose to respond, personally I would write a reciept, send it out and move on. Quote:
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#73
03-06-2013, 06:09 AM
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I agree Nan, although the nap for 4 yr old one got a ton of ideas flowing.
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#74
03-06-2013, 06:45 AM
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Wondering if the OP is around.....and if the above is the former disgruntled client who STILL couldn't let go of what happened and that's why they felt the need to drag this back up Seriously.....it's all about the poor parents being left in a bind? Get real. What about the provider left in a bind when their child is dropped off at unpredictable hours miserable and screaming through the day because they're never cared for properly at home. That doesn't leave them and every single other child in their care in a bind AT - ALL does is now.... 
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#75
03-06-2013, 07:07 AM
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I would have given the family a 2 week notice and hoped they didn't take me up on it.
Looking at how dcm handled the situation I would say this was a blessing in disquise.
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#76
03-06-2013, 07:26 AM
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If I were you, once you responded to mom that you needed payment and she said she would pay you, I would have stopped it at that point. I try not to get into back and forths with my daycare parents. The madder you make them the more they will badmouth you in the community. Just my opinion. Best of luck to you! Remember, for every bad match out there, there are 10 good ones. I think most of us have a family in our care that is a bad match. We just don't all have the guts you had to be able to terminate. Good job!
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#78
03-06-2013, 10:22 AM
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  because I am one of those people that feels the need to explain........ I am sure you have all seen that in my postings. I work hard on this as a self improvement. I have come a long way, but have far to go. My hubby will often tell me, you don't need to explain yourself. I know this, but boy do I get caught up in it. Take this advice, it is good and I thought the same thing as I was reading your back and fourth emails. best-
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#79
03-06-2013, 10:25 AM
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#80
03-06-2013, 10:37 AM
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#81
03-06-2013, 10:43 AM
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#82
03-06-2013, 10:47 AM
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 Fortune cookie- Many a jerk is a parent.
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#83
03-06-2013, 10:51 AM
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#84
03-06-2013, 11:06 AM
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#86
05-10-2013, 05:06 PM
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wow that takes the cake....I have never seen this thread before...I am jaw dropped that someone would really drop off a bag of pennies of their payment.........................
makes any of the clients I have ever done business with perfect little angles...lol
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#87
05-10-2013, 05:12 PM
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I just showed dh, he was laughing so where my kids. He did like the rare penny idea.
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#88
05-10-2013, 07:18 PM
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Oh my, I remember this thread!!!!
What a GREAT thread. It made me happy to read it again. Happy provider appreciation day!!!!
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#89
05-10-2013, 09:47 PM
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. I was always curious if there was, in fact, $30 in there : )
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#90
05-10-2013, 10:40 PM
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#91
05-11-2013, 06:34 AM
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#92
05-11-2013, 09:23 PM
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#93
05-12-2013, 06:24 AM
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We should have a sticky for the best of the best threads ever on DAYCARE.com
This is one of the top ten. I loved the joann fabric thread and the sprinkler thread too I dont live the four year old nap thread or the buy sell daycare one but they have a zillion views
__________________
http://www.amazon.com/Daycare-Whispe...=doing+daycare
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#94
05-12-2013, 06:33 AM
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I have not read the Joann's or the sprinkler threads! Links?
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#95
05-12-2013, 08:21 AM
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Sprinkler thread: https://www.daycare.com/forum/showth...hlight=nannyde
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#96
05-12-2013, 09:11 AM
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__________________
http://www.amazon.com/Daycare-Whispe...=doing+daycare
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#97
05-12-2013, 09:41 AM
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When ever I am bored I will go back and search that way to find some interesting reads. Even the ones I've read before always teach me something.
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#98
10-08-2013, 10:26 AM
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As A mother....
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Enjoy your career Ladies..........
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#99
10-08-2013, 10:34 AM
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As for you pulling your daughter from a home daycare, do you think the girls at a center are doing it for the enjoyment or the pay ? Like any job, we do it for the income. But I don't think a single person could make it a week in this profession if they didn't also LOvE taking care of children.
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#100
10-08-2013, 10:47 AM
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I realize that this is a years old thread, however, to the person that posted this quote above: Would YOU work for free? It is most certainly NOT for the money that **I** do this, but for the opportunity to spend my days with laughing children. However, I do not and will not work for free...my mortgage is due every month, and so is the payment from the daycare parents. There is no excuse AT ALL to use my services and not pay for it. Period. I don't speak for all of us, but I took a HUGE paycut (60%) to quit my job and open a daycare. I did this because it makes me happy, and it is good for my family. Money is MORE important now than before because I make so little of it (about 30% of what I make pre-tax goes into caring for these kids). Exactly what ARE you implying here? That we should take care of strangers' kids for free because we have nothing better to do, or because a parent gets mad at us and doesn't WANT to pay? I am held to the contracts that I sign, and I will hold my clients to the same standards without ever apologizing for it.
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| Tags |
| 2010, funny unregistered posts, termination |
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MnMum married to DH 9 yrs
Great educational thread
....it stirs emotions from 
to 
Linear Mode
