For Parents

No More Negativity- How to Practice Positive Parenting Language

Post by

Lindsey Steel (CEO Daycare.com)

Lindsey Steel (CEO Daycare.com)

I am a mom to two evil little kids (ok, maybe only one is)

Master Positive Parenting Language Techniques

Written by: The HeyKiddo Team of Psychologists and Therapists

Every parent has experienced the frustration of repeating themselves over and over again, wondering if their child has heard a single thing they’ve said. It’s perfectly normal to feel exasperated when your kid appears to be actively ignoring you. Who wouldn’t!

It’s not uncommon for parents to resort to using negative language in moments of frustration, such as saying “stop doing that, now” or “don’t behave like that.” The truth is, parenting is a constant learning curve, and the key to navigating it with grace, patience, and respect often lies in the way we communicate with our children. This is where the power of positive language comes into play!

According to Alicia Eaton, a Children’s Behavioral and Emotional Wellbeing Specialist, the secret to getting children to listen is to mind your language. She suggests that life could be much easier by simply restructuring our sentences, engaging in active listening, and changing the words that we use.

By being more mindful of our words and incorporating empathy and respect, we are able to boost communication, interpersonal relationships, and personal growth. It’s based on the idea that our thoughts, words, and actions are all interconnected, so tweaking one can ripple out positive changes to others.
Developmental psychology research also underscores the significance of positive language in shaping children’s behavior and health. Positive language isn’t just about being polite; it has profound effects on a child’s emotional and cognitive development.
When parents choose words carefully, focusing on encouragement rather than criticism, exercise patience, and show respect, it can lead to stronger parent-child connections and more cooperative behavior. Children who experience this from a young age tend to have higher self-esteem and a more positive outlook on life. Positive reinforcement stimulates the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward, reinforcing positive behaviors in children.
On the other hand, the use of negative language can lead to feelings of shame, guilt, and even defiance in children, hindering their emotional growth.

So, how can you begin incorporating positive language into your daily interactions with your child over time? Here are some practical tips to get you started.

Be Mindful of Your Tone. The tone of your voice can significantly influence the way your child perceives your words, so consider your tonal options carefully. Speak with a calm and gentle tone, even when addressing challenging behaviors, and practice active listening to show your child that their feelings are valued and respected. Avoid sounding frustrated, as this may escalate the situation, which isn’t what anyone wants.
Use Positive Reinforcement. Instead of focusing on what your child is doing wrong, emphasize what they are doing right. For example, instead of saying “Stop making a mess,” try saying “I appreciate your creativity! Let’s find a way to tidy up together while you play though.” Offer specific praise for their efforts and achievements. This not only boosts their self-esteem but also encourages them to repeat desirable behaviors.
Frame Instructions Positively. When providing instructions, frame them in a positive light. For instance, say, “Please walk slowly” instead of “Don’t run.” This helps children understand what behavior is expected of them and promotes cooperation. While “Don’t run!” obviously means, “walk slowly” to us, it’s not so crystal clear to small children.

The use of positive language can transform parenting challenges into opportunities for growth, connection, and joy. By embracing thoughtful communication, parents can foster a nurturing environment for their children, while strengthening the foundation for a healthy, positive relationship that can last a lifetime!

Who benefits from positive parenting language?

Using positive language in parenting significantly benefits children, fostering a nurturing and supportive environment.

Primarily, children are the foremost beneficiaries. Positive language helps in building self-esteem, encouraging good behavior, and developing emotional intelligence. It cultivates a sense of security and trust, essential for healthy psychological development.

Furthermore, parents experience reduced stress and enhanced relationships with their children. When parents focus on positive reinforcement rather than criticism, they create a harmonious household dynamic, making daily interactions more pleasant and cooperative.

Teachers and caregivers also benefit when children are at daycare or school. Understanding the child’s emotional and behavioral nuances, they can better support and guide them in various settings. This creates a cohesive support system, reinforcing the positive impacts of such parenting at home and beyond.

How To Master Positive Parenting Techniques

Do you want options for a tool that’ll help you continue to support your child’s social, emotional and mental wellbeing? Finally, there’s an app for that. Created by psychologists using science-backed tools that encourage open communication and healthy behavior modeling, cutting edge research and personalized insights, and intuitive behavior and emotional tracking to keep you informed, HeyKiddo has your back! Check us out, and start your journey to more successful and positive parenting.

References: