Vacation Time

[jokalima]

I have a very open relationship with one of the moms. I believe I talked about her before, just when she started. I was asking about that exactly, if you thought it was OK to build friendships with parents. I went for it and it's been good.
All of my families are leaving, kids are starting school. I originally had 2 days off in June but then something came up and decided to move them to Oct. I still need the days for June so I decided to close the original days in June but still take her child in, that way I don't affect her and the other families are not going to be affected because they leave in August. Today she asked me if I was closed those 2 days this month, I said yes but reminded her I was still taking her child in because I can still run my errands with the child. So she asks me that if that means that I won't take the days in Oct because I'm closing the 2 days in June. I told her I would still take them because I was taking her child in the days in June so I wouldn't affect her and still take those days off in Oct.

Is this arrangement a wrong thing to do? It kind of bugged me a bit that she would expect for me to take the child on a day off. Is really not a day off cause I will still have that child with me, I just need to do some errands that with the whole pack would be impossible to do. And because I had those days originally, I decided to keep them like that just for the families that are leaving.

Horrible idea?

[melilley]

You can do what you want, that's why you have your own business!

I personally wouldn't have offered to take her child for the days this month. I could never ask anyone to take my child if they had the day off either, that's just rude. And October is a while away, that gives her more than enough time to find alternate care.

We need days off too!

[craftymissbeth]

I think you're being way more than fair. In fact, I'd specifically tell her that you COULD be closed the days in June AND in October, but you were trying to be helpful.

It might be too late to close altogether for the days in June, but I definitely would for the ones in October. No questions asked. And now you know that no good deed goes unpunished. You were nice enough to keep her child when you were supposed to be off and that's still not good enough for her.

[AmyKidsCo]

Originally Posted by melilley

You can do what you want, that's why you have your own business!

I personally wouldn't have offered to take her child for the days this month. I could never ask anyone to take my child if they had the day off either, that's just rude. And October is a while away, that gives her more than enough time to find alternate care.

We need days off too!

Ditto! You definitely can do what you want - it's one of the best things about having your own business! And studies show that providers who take time off provide better care and stay in the field longer than providers who don't take time off.

[Blackcat31]

She is asking you to take her child in October on your days off because you are bending your policies and taking her child now on you planned days off.

It may be rude to ask but I think she is not over stepping because she probably feels that since you're taking her now, why not then...kwim?

I would count on her asking every time you have a day off from now on.

[jokalima]

Well, yes. I think you are right. I've done many favors to her. There was a day she called me on a day off and I took the child for just a couple of hours. I forgot about that until I read Blackcat. I do it because I k ow she's alone in the States and I know what that feels like so I always want to help... But, yes, I think you are right. I just did not expect it from her when we are talking about my actual family vacation time.

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by jokalima

Well, yes. I think you are right. I've done many favors to her. There was a day she called me on a day off and I took the child for just a couple of hours. I forgot about that until I read Blackcat. I do it because I k ow she's alone in the States and I know what that feels like so I always want to help... But, yes, I think you are right. I just did not expect it from her when we are talking about my actual family vacation time.

It's hard. You want to be helpful but still have that boundary that parents will respect you when you do say no.

Since you two are friends (or friendly) maybe just have a heart to heart with her and let her know that you will help when you CAN help but when you do have to say no, she needs to understand and graciously accept that "no" with respect and understanding.