My Son Is A Bully

[LeslieG]

I've been doing daycare since before I had any children of my own. My oldest does (and always has done) great with daycare, which includes sharing my attention, his house and some of his toys. My middle child, who will be 3 next month, has been so mean to other kids in my daycare for probably the last couple of months. Like, does not share, screams in their face, pushes, lays on top of them, etc. He does this only to kids his age or younger. I have just had enough!!

Has anyone else dealt with a situation like this? I'm trying to figure out if it's a phase, his personality, middle child syndrome or that he just doesn't like me doing daycare.

I'm almost positive that he would not act this way if we were at someone else's house or he was in school. He's actually somewhat shy, so people are surprised to hear that he acts this way.

Please help!!

[Blackcat31]

Here are some other threads on the same topic

https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.p...s+own+children

[kendallina]

I don't really have a lot of advice. I just wanted to say that this is a problem for a lot of providers.

My DD (now 11 yrs old and a wonderful young lady) was just AWFUL in my Preschool once she turned 3. She was mean and defiant. She screamed and threw tantrums. I knew she wouldn't be that way with someone else, so I sent her to a neighbor a few mornings a week for a while. But we just couldn't afford anything more at the time.

If you can afford it, send him to childcare a few days a week. Really. It's okay. It can be very difficult for some children to live at their parents work. Once she was in kinder, all was fine. And now she's just wonderful with my preschoolers!

I also have a 4-yr old son. He's awesome and easy in all ways, including in my Preschool. So he stays with me full- time. If, at some point, this didn't work for him we could actually afford to send him elsewhere now and I wouldn't hesitate.

Good luck!

[Mariposa]

My son did this very thing in regular childcare and now at my in-home. Finally, a week before my summer kid left I saw a vast improvement, after 2 things-1) naps resumed and b) I made up a couple of stories that really pertained to his behavior.

Now I hit a bump in the road with no inquiries and no enrolled kids, but he and his sister are getting along so well now. Not 100% but more like 80-90%.

[Cat Herder]

It is a known thing since the beginning of the history of daycare. The only real solution is to not have your own kids in your daycare.

[rosieteddy]

When I started DC my sons were young. It really helped to treat them just like the other children in DC .Their toys stayed in their rooms. They were dressed and ready for Dc when it opened ect. Then at the end of the day they could bring their toys out, watch tv ect while I prepared dinner. That worked best when they were the age of my DC children. As they went to school things changed ,they didn't need constant supervision ect. My two grandsons were with me for preschool ,infant years. It was the same I treated them like the other children. I felt guilty at first in both situations but money wise sending them out seemed crazy .I started the job to be able to be with them.It is hard be consistant.One thing that helped me was a "good"chart.My son got multiple checks for good behavior during DC .When he earned a pre arranged amount he was given an award.When he misbehaved during DC the "punishment"was the same as any child in DC. It is hard ,but do your best.

[Tin Blues]

I did the same thing when my kids were little. They were treated exactly the same as daycare kids. Same set of rules. No special privileges. No double standard. Maybe you could have your child shadow you?

[Ariana]

I had two kid go through daycare and no issues with either in terms of bullying. I did not treat my kids the same and they got special privileges like the ability to use their own toys in their rooms and not share. I also built a little section with bookshelves that only they were allowed to go into etc. In my opinion there is nothing wrong with treating your own kids differently because its a special circumstance to share your parent with other kids. My kids still had to follow rules etc but had a few special privileges. I also had to make sure not to hug daycare kids if my kids were around. I kept that for them.

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by Ariana

I had two kid go through daycare and no issues with either in terms of bullying. I did not treat my kids the same and they got special privileges like the ability to use their own toys in their rooms and not share. I also built a little section with bookshelves that only they were allowed to go into etc. In my opinion there is nothing wrong with treating your own kids differently because its a special circumstance to share your parent with other kids. My kids still had to follow rules etc but had a few special privileges. I also had to make sure not to hug daycare kids if my kids were around. I kept that for them.

I totally disagree but this is proof there is a right fit for every family/provider as there really is no right or wrong only what's right for you!