I Strongly Dislike Starting New Families :|

[Pandaluver21]

New families first day today. Parents did not follow a single rule. Kid was rough, but that I can work with, and was actually better by the end of class. (4hr morning preschool class)
Parent came for drop off 10 minutes early. Continually knocked and rang bell until I finally went and opened the door and explained why I wasn't answering. (My current procedures say you arrive AT 8:30 and wait until the door is open for kids to enter, no knocking or ringing necessary)
Supply list states FULL change of clothing, as well as a backpack big enough for their weekly folder. I got a shirt and pants in a walmart bag :|
All paperwork states snack and lunch is provided, and NO outside food allowed. I was asked multiple times if they were needing to bring snack.
My Covid policy's state nobody is allowed inside and masks are required at drop off/pick up. Both parents at both drop off and pickup did not wear a mask, and dad tried to come in at drop off after I asked child to take her shoes off (He was going to do it for her :|)
Mom came to pick up about 10 minutes early. Neither parent had the Daily connect app on their phones (I have this as my touch-less check in. They can scan QR code and all covid questions are answered on the phone instead of my tablet) They had to put in 4 digit pin, click sign in, answer covid questions and then sign. They were annoyed with how long this took...

So I need opinions. Do I keep going with this family or is it doomed from the beginning? Like I said, I can deal with the kid not following rules, but the parents are harder to deal with

[Gemma]

If they're so disrespectful already on their first day, there is little to no chance that they will turn around completely and become a great fit.
You could address your issues with them and give them a warning, personally I would tell them it is not working out before things get any worse.

[Gemma]

Originally Posted by Pandaluver21

, I can deal with the kid not following rules, but the parents are harder to deal with

I can work with just about any behavior problem a kid might have, but if the parents are not onboard, I'm done!

[Cat Herder]

I would charge the $10 early drop-off fee and tell them they have one more day to get it together. They needed to go home and read their contract. If they felt it would not work for them, they needed to find another provider.

I don't do the masks, book bags, early pick-up (unless during nap) or COVID questions, so have no advice on those.

Go with your gut, if they are not on board by Friday I'd let them go.

[Blackcat31]

I would tell them the issues in regards to the first day and then give them the second day to fix the issues.

If they ignore and you have to repeat what you said yesterday, then I'd be out.
But if they are quick to correct, there is potential.

I feel ya, I just had to have a convo with a DCM about stuffies and toys from home for the 3rd time. She corrected the issue the first week, then second week it was one day and a gentle reminder and now the third week we are on the third day of bringing a different stuffie. Nope.

I agree.....I dislike starting new families too!

[Cat Herder]

I have one long term client that is like living 50 First Dates.

Been here three years yet every No is met with "I did not know that.", "This is new." or "but last time." In messages only, never to my face.

I literally just resend the previous emails/messages to include her comments each time. She retreats. DCD laughs and shakes his head at pick-ups. Life goes on.

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by Cat Herder

I have one long term client that is like living 50 First Dates.

Been here three years yet every No is met with "I did not know that.", "This is new." or "but last time." In messages only, never to my face.

I literally just resend the previous emails/messages to include her comments each time. She retreats. DCD laughs and shakes his head at pick-ups. Life goes on.

I am pretty sure I have her sister.

I always follow up with screen shots of the previous texts or emails and still I hear "oh, is this new?" at least once per month.

Sooooo lucky I love their kid!

[Cat Herder]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

I am pretty sure I have her sister.

I always follow up with screen shots of the previous texts or emails and still I hear "oh, is this new?" at least once per month.

Sooooo lucky I love their kid!

Same. That and you can tell she genuinely does not remember. She is always apologetic and quick to step back in line.

[Rockgirl]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

I am pretty sure I have her sister.

I always follow up with screen shots of the previous texts or emails and still I hear "oh, is this new?" at least once per month.

Sooooo lucky I love their kid!

I have a dcd just like this! It mostly involves my holidays. I’ve given him 3 separate copies of my holiday schedule, and they’ve been here two years, so should know by now. Nope....Friday of Labor Day weekend, I said, “See you Tuesday!” He stopped in his tracks and said, “You’re closed Monday?” I said, “Yes, for Labor Day.” He put his hands up and said, “Didn’t know.”

[springv]

Oh my gosh, That's totally disrespectful and very uncalled for. If I were the provider I would terminate

[Pandaluver21]

Originally Posted by Gemma

I can work with just about any behavior problem a kid might have, but if the parents are not onboard, I'm done!

Yes exactly! The kid wasn't perfect and I literally had to be on her ALL day, but she is turning 3 this month and has never been in any structured setting. (plus is the youngest with two brothers quite a bit older than her) HOWEVER, by the end of the class we were already making progress!

Originally Posted by Cat Herder

I would charge the $10 early drop-off fee

I have a late pickup fee, but not early drop off... I have never had to add it because I just don't open the door until 8:30...

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

I would tell them the issues in regards to the first day and then give them the second day to fix the issues.

I feel ya, I just had to have a convo with a DCM about stuffies and toys from home for the 3rd time. She corrected the issue the first week, then second week it was one day and a gentle reminder and now the third week we are on the third day of bringing a different stuffie. Nope.

I agree.....I dislike starting new families too!

Yes, what is the deal?!? It's like they think if they keep asking we'll change our mind. Oh.. .THAT's where their kids get it ...

Originally Posted by Cat Herder

I have one long term client that is like living 50 First Dates.

Yep, this parent asked "do I bring snack" I responded saying that information is in the welcome packet. I handed her the welcome packet the next day, about an hour later she messages me and asks "do I bring snack?" ...

Originally Posted by springvalley112

Oh my gosh, That's totally disrespectful and very uncalled for. If I were the provider I would terminate

They very much do the "you're our babysitter" type attitude


*A little more back story. We are a preschool only program, this child attends 4hours a day two days a week. They started Tuesday and will be here again on Thursday.
I addressed Early drop to dad
I addressed the lack of backpack
I addressed Covid procedures (with a letter to sign and return)
I stated several times that clocking in/out would be MUCH smoother if they downloaded that app, and that that was the ONLY way I would be communicating with them from now on.
I did not address early pick up because I was happy to let said child leave a little early :P
I guess we'll see how Thursday goes
I have felt a little weird about this family from the get go. They are a "friend of a friend" kind of thing. I usually can tell if a famly will last, hopefully they prove me wrong :P

[AmyKidsCo]

I'd give them a couple of weeks, since it's just 2 days/week. If they don't make any effort then terminate.

[284878]

Originally Posted by Pandaluver21

New families first day today. Parents did not follow a single rule. Kid was rough, but that I can work with, and was actually better by the end of class. (4hr morning preschool class)
Parent came for drop off 10 minutes early. Continually knocked and rang bell until I finally went and opened the door and explained why I wasn't answering. (My current procedures say you arrive AT 8:30 and wait until the door is open for kids to enter, no knocking or ringing necessary)
Supply list states FULL change of clothing, as well as a backpack big enough for their weekly folder. I got a shirt and pants in a walmart bag :|
All paperwork states snack and lunch is provided, and NO outside food allowed. I was asked multiple times if they were needing to bring snack.
My Covid policy's state nobody is allowed inside and masks are required at drop off/pick up. Both parents at both drop off and pickup did not wear a mask, and dad tried to come in at drop off after I asked child to take her shoes off (He was going to do it for her :|)
Mom came to pick up about 10 minutes early. Neither parent had the Daily connect app on their phones (I have this as my touch-less check in. They can scan QR code and all covid questions are answered on the phone instead of my tablet) They had to put in 4 digit pin, click sign in, answer covid questions and then sign. They were annoyed with how long this took...

So I need opinions. Do I keep going with this family or is it doomed from the beginning? Like I said, I can deal with the kid not following rules, but the parents are harder to deal with

Wow - I think I had their relative last year.
They said they needed care at 7:30, but since dcm had not found a job she did not bring the child until 9, came to my front door vs dc entrance. We discussed that when she needed 7:30 I would be available but until then I would not expect them until 9. When they arrived, I asked for supplies and dcm went out to the car and brought in a bag of Junk. Proceed to pull everything out until she found a complete spare outfit for DCG. Insisted that DCG needed x toy and even when dcg was off playing, she proceeds to set the toy down when I was not looking. (Even after I
said, DCM, I have x toy, she can just play with mine.)

Then one day out of the blue DCD drops off at 7:30, I was still in bed up because my other family was not coming that day. DCM had just gotten a job and never let me know.

FFW-- DCM comments that they should know soon if she will get into preschool, since she did not say any more to me about the preschool schedule, one could assume that preschool would be on days that she did not attend dc. (But I knew better) So I was not shocked when the first day of preschool rolled around and they did not show. I was shocked to get an angry call from dcd claiming it was my fault dcg was sick (and sent home from DC) when I had been on vacation for 2 weeks before preschool had started and no kids in my care were sick.

I knew it would not be a long relationship but at the time I was short on enrollments after having DS, so I keep them. Looking back, I should have followed up with them about preschool and asked for an end date.

So you could give it a week and if you are not feeling it, term sooner than later.

[Pandaluver21]

Well today drop off was no better. No mask, no backpack, and did not return the weekly folder that I sent home on Tuesday. (it literally says on it, bring back Thursday and mom said "oh this is our back and fourth" when I handed it to her...)
At least he did get here at the right time today, so I guess that's a step in the right direction.
I'm feeling like they have no intention of following our policy's, which is a bummer. I am writing a note to send home that asks to re-read over our papers and to follow all procedures. Should I re write the specific ones they are breaking, or just ask them to read over it again? I feel like writing them all out AGAIN is just babying them... I teach kids, I shouldn't have to be teaching the adults...

This is what I have so far. Should I say "follow them or you will not be allowed back"
Also, they have paid through the end of the month. I did let them know if with-in the first week they wanted to leave for any reason, they would be refunded, but said nothing about if I had to ask them to leave...

We are happy to have _________ join us, and she is already learning our routine and doing great! We want to make sure we are all on the same page, as to make everything go smoothly.
Please read over our handbook, Covid policy’s and welcome packet and make sure you are familiar with our routines and requirements. I ask that all policies and procedures be followed, please feel free to ask any questions if there is something you may not understand. I am happy to make copies of any paperwork you hand in as well.

[Cat Herder]

Did you discuss it face to face at drop-off and make it clear that today was their last chance? Verbally?

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by Pandaluver21

Well today drop off was no better. No mask, no backpack, and did not return the weekly folder that I sent home on Tuesday. (it literally says on it, bring back Thursday and mom said "oh this is our back and fourth" when I handed it to her...)
At least he did get here at the right time today, so I guess that's a step in the right direction.
I'm feeling like they have no intention of following our policy's, which is a bummer. I am writing a note to send home that asks to re-read over our papers and to follow all procedures. Should I re write the specific ones they are breaking, or just ask them to read over it again? I feel like writing them all out AGAIN is just babying them... I teach kids, I shouldn't have to be teaching the adults...

This is what I have so far. Should I say "follow them or you will not be allowed back"
Also, they have paid through the end of the month. I did let them know if with-in the first week they wanted to leave for any reason, they would be refunded, but said nothing about if I had to ask them to leave...

We are happy to have _________ join us, and she is already learning our routine and doing great! We want to make sure we are all on the same page, as to make everything go smoothly.
Please read over our handbook, Covid policy’s and welcome packet and make sure you are familiar with our routines and requirements. I ask that all policies and procedures be followed, please feel free to ask any questions if there is something you may not understand. I am happy to make copies of any paperwork you hand in as well.

Yes, I would include the part about not following rules/policies may mean loss of services.

I like what you have written so far...but I think it's absolutely necessary to include the part about following rules or not being allowed to stay.

Maybe if they show up again without a backpack and required folder you can refuse the child. If parents show up with out a mask, do the same.

Maybe being denied drop off will speak louder than words,

Ugh...Im feeling like its probably not going to work out... I hate starting new families too so I understand your feelings.

[Pandaluver21]

Originally Posted by Cat Herder

Did you discuss it face to face at drop-off and make it clear that today was their last chance? Verbally?

I have restated specific policy's they are not following, face to face. I did not say that this was their last chance because I was getting other kids in at the time.

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

Yes, I would include the part about not following rules/policies may mean loss of services.

I like what you have written so far...but I think it's absolutely necessary to include the part about following rules or not being allowed to stay.

Maybe if they show up again without a backpack and required folder you can refuse the child. If parents show up with out a mask, do the same.

Maybe being denied drop off will speak louder than words,

Ugh...Im feeling like its probably not going to work out... I hate starting new families too so I understand your feelings.

I'm having the same feeling I will go ahead and add that this is their last warning. Ugh, I hate this.

Thank you all for your help!

[Pandaluver21]

Ok apparently I have no idea how to word it.

Please let us know if any policy’s are a problem for you, we understand we may not be the best fit for every family, however if our policy’s are not followed starting next week you will be asked to... (this is where I'm drawing a blank. ANd yes I'm aware I'm too nice.... I have grown a backbone over the last 12 years, but I still hate having to have one :P )

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by Pandaluver21

Ok apparently I have no idea how to word it.

Please let us know if any policy’s are a problem for you, we understand we may not be the best fit for every family, however if our policy’s are not followed starting next week you will be asked to... (this is where I'm drawing a blank. ANd yes I'm aware I'm too nice.... I have grown a backbone over the last 12 years, but I still hate having to have one :P )

"Please let us know if any policies are a problem for you. We understand we may not be the best fit for every family, however if our policies are not followed starting next week you will be asked to...find alternate child care (preschool) arrangements. Our policies are in place for many reasons but they are non-negotiable."

I added the wording I would use

[Pandaluver21]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

"Please let us know if any policies are a problem for you. We understand we may not be the best fit for every family, however if our policies are not followed starting next week you will be asked to...find alternate child care (preschool) arrangements. Our policies are in place for many reasons but they are non-negotiable."

I added the wording I would use

I thought about saying "looking for another preschool" but it sounded like a suggesting :P I like what you wrote, thank you.

[Cat Herder]

"Good Morning, DCM/DCD. We seem to have gotten off to a bad start this week. Please re-read your contract, today, and let's clarify what seems to be causing your family such difficulty.

If our policies are not followed starting next week you will be asked to find alternate child care (preschool) arrangements and our contract will be terminated. Our policies are in place for many reasons and they are non-negotiable. Thanks in advance."

I edited it for my program.

[Rockgirl]

Originally Posted by Pandaluver21

Ok apparently I have no idea how to word it.

Please let us know if any policy’s are a problem for you, we understand we may not be the best fit for every family, however if our policy’s are not followed starting next week you will be asked to... (this is where I'm drawing a blank. ANd yes I'm aware I'm too nice.... I have grown a backbone over the last 12 years, but I still hate having to have one :P )

I wouldn’t even say “Let us know if any policies are a problem for you”.....that suggests there can be adaptations made for them.

I think Cat Herder worded it perfectly above.

[Pandaluver21]

Originally Posted by Rockgirl

I wouldn’t even say “Let us know if any policies are a problem for you”.....that suggests there can be adaptations made for them.

I think Cat Herder worded it perfectly above.

I can see that. I meant "Let us know if you won't be following them, and going elsewhere"

[Pandaluver21]

Brought back the folder at pickup saying dad "forgot it"
Papers inside were dated today
Still had sticky note inside stating they needed to bring a backpack...
Sent the letter home, hope it goes well!

[Cat Herder]

Originally Posted by Pandaluver21

Brought back the folder at pickup saying dad "forgot it"
Papers inside were dated today
Still had sticky note inside stating they needed to bring a backpack...
Sent the letter home, hope it goes well!

Good luck!

I wanted to mention I would generally ask if they were having a hard time getting a backpack the correct size and would offer to get one for them. Sometimes I charge other times I don't, it depends on the family.

[Pandaluver21]

Originally Posted by Cat Herder

Good luck!

I wanted to mention I would generally ask if they were having a hard time getting a backpack the correct size and would offer to get one for them. Sometimes I charge other times I don't, it depends on the family.

That's a good point, I did work with another family about getting a used one but they ended up finding one one sale and it all worked out.
The family I am struggling with is definitely not having issues financially, but maybe trouble finding it? Maybe It's just me but I figure people would ask or say something... but I guess not everyone does that..


She just messaged me (on Facebook, after telling her all communication needs to go through the daily connect app, which they still haven't downloaded) and said "I don't understand what we aren't following, just tell us and we'll do it"
I'm frustrated because I HAVE told them, many times in the last two days of class. I intentionally didn't add them to the letter because I want them to actually READ the paperwork instead of me having to bring up each thing.
It's not huge things, I just don't like having to "babysit" parents that aren't trying. I am ALL about communication on both sides. I would rather have a "hot mess" parent that keeps communication open Those have actually been my favorite parents :P

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by Pandaluver21

That's a good point, I did work with another family about getting a used one but they ended up finding one one sale and it all worked out.
The family I am struggling with is definitely not having issues financially, but maybe trouble finding it? Maybe It's just me but I figure people would ask or say something... but I guess not everyone does that..


She just messaged me (on Facebook, after telling her all communication needs to go through the daily connect app, which they still haven't downloaded) and said "I don't understand what we aren't following, just tell us and we'll do it"
I'm frustrated because I HAVE told them, many times in the last two days of class. I intentionally didn't add them to the letter because I want them to actually READ the paperwork instead of me having to bring up each thing.
It's not huge things, I just don't like having to "babysit" parents that aren't trying. I am ALL about communication on both sides. I would rather have a "hot mess" parent that keeps communication open Those have actually been my favorite parents :P

Maybe reply with something vague like "not complying with needed supplies, protocols for pick up/drop off and required communication methods. All of which can be found in the paperwork provided upon enrollment and signed by you."

Let them figure out what that specifically means by reading.

[Pandaluver21]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

Maybe reply with something vague like "not complying with needed supplies, protocols for pick up/drop off and required communication methods. All of which can be found in the paperwork provided upon enrollment and signed by you."

Let them figure out what that specifically means by reading.

That's much nicer than "you wouldn't be confused if you actually READ the paperwork"

Mine is lengthy, but how does it look? I decided to go ahead and address specific issues, but wanted to make sure to also state that I needed her to read over things so we don't have to go over things again and again...


"I just want to make sure we get off on the right foot. There are a few things that were in the paperwork that may not have gotten read or were misunderstood. I do my best to make sure everything can be found in the paperwork provided upon enrollment and signed by parents. I know there were a few questions you had asked, that I had covered in the paperwork. I am happy to re-send anything needed to make sure we have no issues moving forward.
-Our welcome packet states that everyone has a backpack that fits their folder.
-Our Covid policy’s state that parents need to wear a face covering at drop off and pick up as a courtesy to myself and other parents.
-I also ask that you download the Daily Connect app for communication as well as clocking in/out. This keeps it quick and touch free.
I am HUGE on communication and want to make sure we are open on both sides. Please, if you are unsure or struggling with anything let me know. (for example, if you are unable to find a backpack)
I appreciate that drop off time was adjusted today after addressing it on Tuesday, I want to make sure we can keep that communication open"

The " I know there were a few questions you had asked, that I had covered in the paperwork." Sounds a little weird, but I want to include it in some way. It was actually SEVERAL questions that were already in the paperwork...


Thanks for your help guys, I haven't had to start a new student in about 2 years and I don't miss it

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by Pandaluver21

That's much nicer than "you wouldn't be confused if you actually READ the paperwork"

Originally Posted by Pandaluver21

The " I know there were a few questions you had asked, that I had covered in the paperwork." Sounds a little weird, but I want to include it in some way. It was actually SEVERAL questions that were already in the paperwork...

How about something like:

"Most of the questions you've asked are covered thoroughly in the enrollment paperwork however I will address the issues that are of the most importance. For example the need for a back pack that fits the folder........"

...Go on from there....

I would probably end the reply with something like "in the future please refer to the enrollment packet to assist in answering any questions you may have. Should you be unable to find the answers or you have a specific issue that needs to be addressed please feel free to let me know."

[Ariana]

I think I would simply say "have you read the contract"? There is absolutely no reason she should be confused about what she is missing if she read the contract. This is a person who is used to not having to figure anything out on their own and needs their hand held like 90% of parents out there.

[Pandaluver21]

Finally ended up having to spell it out for her.
I listed several things, and told her to make sure she read EVERYTHING so this wouldn't happen again. She responded basically saying her life is too busy to "catch everything" even though she did read the papers... and that next time I just need to "tell her directly" and she will fix it...
I stated that the app will be the ONLY way to communicate from now on, and that they need to have it to clock in touch-free. She responded and said her husband (the main one to drop off) will not use it because he "usually forgets his phone" and that we need to find another way to communicate because she will be leaving facebook...

We'll see how this week goes. She said they will "fix" the issues, but seemed like it was such a surprise to her (I have told her face to face, and it is all in multiple pieces of paperwork) I'm kind of hoping they just decided to leave on their own

[Cat Herder]

Originally Posted by Pandaluver21

Finally ended up having to spell it out for her.
I listed several things, and told her to make sure she read EVERYTHING so this wouldn't happen again. She responded basically saying her life is too busy to "catch everything" even though she did read the papers... and that next time I just need to "tell her directly" and she will fix it...
I stated that the app will be the ONLY way to communicate from now on, and that they need to have it to clock in touch-free. She responded and said her husband (the main one to drop off) will not use it because he "usually forgets his phone" and that we need to find another way to communicate because she will be leaving facebook...

We'll see how this week goes. She said they will "fix" the issues, but seemed like it was such a surprise to her (I have told her face to face, and it is all in multiple pieces of paperwork) I'm kind of hoping they just decided to leave on their own

I would have let her go at this point. "Ok. Thanks for letting me know. When will your last day be, today or Friday?"

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by Cat Herder

I would have let her go at this point. "Ok. Thanks for letting me know. When will your last day be, today or Friday?"

Gotta love parents that are simply too busy for their child.

I agree with CH though.... these types of parents are just not something I can manage.

I don't think they ever get better; just lazier (if that's the right word) and that is just not fair to you or their child.

[Pandaluver21]

Originally Posted by Cat Herder

I would have let her go at this point. "Ok. Thanks for letting me know. When will your last day be, today or Friday?"

Oh how I wish I would have said that

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

Gotta love parents that are simply too busy for their child.

I agree with CH though.... these types of parents are just not something I can manage.

I don't think they ever get better; just lazier (if that's the right word) and that is just not fair to you or their child.

I let one of my other (long time) parents know that this family would probably not be working out. I said "unless things change dramatically, but well.. that's never happened... in 12+ years..." :P They paid through the end of the month, I will get them until then. They attend Tues/Thurs, so that's only 6 more days technically... hopefully they prove me wrong

[Pandaluver21]

Backpack and mask this morning!

(Btw, I hate wearing a mask, but they are super cracking down here and I have parents that are more afraid than others, so masks just make it smoother for everyone)

[Annalee]

I have 10 kids right now....the last two I've taken didn't work out....dcg family gave notice after about four weeks....dcb I termed on the 7th day....not sure if it's me or families, in general, but I'd rather have less kids with families following my rules than to be full and have to fight about rules all the time.

[Pandaluver21]

Originally Posted by Annalee

I have 10 kids right now....the last two I've taken didn't work out....dcg family gave notice after about four weeks....dcb I termed on the 7th day....not sure if it's me or families, in general, but I'd rather have less kids with families following my rules than to be full and have to fight about rules all the time.

Yes!! I don't "need" to be full, and am perfectly happy with a few great parents than a full class and parents that stress me out! So far this family has fixed most of the issues (drop off/pick up times, mask, backpack, etc) the only thing they are "fighting" me on is using the app to check in. She said her husband just "won't remember" his phone. I let her know next week I would be removing the option to check in with a code, so he better start remembering it! She checked out with it today and said was shocked at how "fast and easy" it was!

On the other hand, had a parent ask for an additional morning this week because she has to take a family member in for surgery... This family is amazing, so I said yes. Not only did they pay for the day (tomorrow) but brought me $20 and a gift card for Duch Bro's :P Man I wish I could clone this family

[RepNJ]

Geez, y’all are harsh.

It was their FIRST day. Maybe their first time in *any* care setting. You do realize the massive amounts of paperwork cannot be completely memorized after 1, even 2, reads.

I agree that you could’ve said to refer back to the contract, and the answers are listed there, but to act like you are going to kick the poor family out on their first day is a bit much. Give them at least a week to get accustomed to the rhythm.

[Pandaluver21]

Originally Posted by RepNJ

Geez, y’all are harsh.

It was their FIRST day. Maybe their first time in *any* care setting. You do realize the massive amounts of paperwork cannot be completely memorized after 1, even 2, reads.

I agree that you could’ve said to refer back to the contract, and the answers are listed there, but to act like you are going to kick the poor family out on their first day is a bit much. Give them at least a week to get accustomed to the rhythm.

I completely understand it is a lot of paperwork to follow. However, when 10 parents can and one parent doesn't... it's not the paperwork that's the problem.
Also, it's one thing to say that they had too much paperwork to remember, but I literally handed them a folder, with a sticky note in it saying to bring a backpack.. they returned the folder, with the sticky note... plane as day.
This is their 3rd child. They have two middle school/highschoolers... not their first rodeo.
After the 15th time telling this family one of our policy's, she straight out told me "we're not going to do that"...
Aside from ALL that, I verbally told them several of these things multiple times.
I am 100% confident in saying that it wasn't an overwhelming amount of paperwork, and WAS an undesired to follow the rules.

Yes it seems harsh to throw this at parents the first day, but how long do you allow it? How do you go to a parent a few weeks later and tell them "So that thing I've been letting you get away with? NOW i'm serious that you have to follow it." It's just better to get it out of the way right from the get go!

[Snowmom]

Originally Posted by RepNJ

Geez, y’all are harsh.

It was their FIRST day. Maybe their first time in *any* care setting. You do realize the massive amounts of paperwork cannot be completely memorized after 1, even 2, reads.

I agree that you could’ve said to refer back to the contract, and the answers are listed there, but to act like you are going to kick the poor family out on their first day is a bit much. Give them at least a week to get accustomed to the rhythm.

Not harsh at all. Reality.
Most jobs and services you enroll in will have a trial period.
If you can't get on board in a certain time period (usually two weeks), you hit the road.

In my own experience, the first two weeks is the MOST important in terms of setting expectations. I am EXTRA hard and diligent in following rules in the first two weeks- no exceptions. If a family thinks they get leeway at all, then the whole relationship will be spent correcting that mind set.

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by RepNJ

Geez, y’all are harsh.

It was their FIRST day. Maybe their first time in *any* care setting. You do realize the massive amounts of paperwork cannot be completely memorized after 1, even 2, reads.

I agree that you could’ve said to refer back to the contract, and the answers are listed there, but to act like you are going to kick the poor family out on their first day is a bit much. Give them at least a week to get accustomed to the rhythm.

My licensing requirements (don't even get me started on the amount of reading and paperwork it entails) is active from my FIRST day of business until I officially quit.

I am not given a few days to get accustomed to it. I am immediately held to ALL the requirements in the paperwork and am immediately subject to the consequences if I do not.

I manage 10-12 families. So if providers are expected to follow these rules for the safety and wellbeing of ALL clients enrolled, I don't think expecting ONE family to read and follow the enrollment paperwork is harsh at all.

[Pandaluver21]

Shocking news heading your way

This family is OUT! Tuesday I actually thought maybe we could finish out the school year, today... NOPE!

Mom is SO disrespectful, doesn't listen to a word I say, and her daughter is the EXACT same way! I can't do it anymore. I was relaying my day to my roommate this evening and just started shaking I was getting so worked up. (and I'm NOT an outwardly emotional person)

Mom talks to me like I'm an idiot, yet I have to tell her EVERYTHING at least 5 times before she even starts to pay attention. Everything is verbal at least once, and in writing at least twice and she still acts like it's new to her when I bring it up. I'm just burnt out, I can't give any more to this family. Why do I put several hours into paperwork, several hours into lesson plans, and then give 110% to actually teaching their kids, and have parents that could care less? Why am I putting so much effort into the paperwork if you can't even put in a tiny bit to read it/follow it? I'm just done. I have no more to give. I will let them finish out the month (technically only one more day of class) and then I'm done.
Now to figure out HOW to give the boot... I REALLY hate this part! I'm completely expecting her to be "blind sided" that it's not working out

[dolores]

My current issue with new families is the drop off- with new child clinging to parent for dear life while screaming bloody murder. It's like they have to be pryed off.

We moved from indoor to outdoor drop off because of covid. It did not affect veteran families who already knew us. Their kids had similar behavior when they were new but it seemed less of a scene with indoor drop off.

I actually think the indoor drop off with new kid went easier in that it helped them settle in and reduced parents' anxiety faster.

How do you get a screaming child who does not want to separate from parent inside? And how do you make parents feel better about it?

[Cat Herder]

Originally Posted by dolores

How do you get a screaming child who does not want to separate from parent inside? And how do you make parents feel better about it?

I physically pick them up and carry them in. Then I send a photo of them playing/eating happily with friends 10 minutes later through my parent communication app. (Daily Connect)

I should say that I do not keep school-agers and only enroll birth-12 months, tops. By the time they are big enough to not need carrying, they are well over it.

[dolores]

Mine start at 2 years old.

Toddlers have the ability to make themselves heavier than they are when they don't want to budge .

[Pandaluver21]

Originally Posted by dolores

My current issue with new families is the drop off- with new child clinging to parent for dear life while screaming bloody murder. It's like they have to be pryed off.

We moved from indoor to outdoor drop off because of covid. It did not affect veteran families who already knew us. Their kids had similar behavior when they were new but it seemed less of a scene with indoor drop off.

I actually think the indoor drop off with new kid went easier in that it helped them settle in and reduced parents' anxiety faster.

How do you get a screaming child who does not want to separate from parent inside? And how do you make parents feel better about it?

I think it depends on the age definitely. A younger kid, I do what cat herder said, just grab them :P
I had a 3.5yr old one year and he would scream and cling to mom. His 2.5yr old sister came in with no problems :P I would peal him off and set him next to the door. I told him he can join when he's ready. He would sit for a few minutes, and join no problem. I also sent mom/dad pictures of them playing happily

**Side question- Cat Herder, what do you do when kids turn 1, do they have to leave?

[Cat Herder]

Originally Posted by Pandaluver21

**Side question- Cat Herder, what do you do when kids turn 1, do they have to leave?

No. My program is a little different. My focus is on creating a long term community, not just childcare. I only keep two infants, max. I have little to no turn-over. I don't advertise. It is more a continuation program than anything. I planned to close years ago, they won't let me.

I keep kids until age 6 yrs, mostly sibling groups beginning with their first child. Many of my families stay well over 8 years, here, 2-4 kids. Most redshirt, starting kindergarten at 6 yrs with strong social/emotional bonds within the current and former families along with a solid preschool education. I have multi-generational families, as well. We are rural and most of our families have been here for several generations.

*I don't like to enroll older toddlers/preschoolers as it is harder to blend them naturally into the group. Not in the way you think.

I like new enrollees to be the youngest of the group; learning routines by watching and bonding with the older kids. Then, they slowly work their way up to being the oldest, modeling for the youngest. IMO, Each "sibling" role and phase is valuable in a well rounded early learning experience. To me, it is a more natural way of growing up that mimics how children are generally born into their natural families. My kids are all here almost 50 hours per week. It is rare to have one that is not because that is the job market we have.

IMO, When an older child comes in it can disrupt the established familial roles in the group and make for harder transitions for the entire group. All children welcome a younger child and the group bonds more easily.

[Cat Herder]

FTR, I am so glad you let them go.

You will enjoy your holidays so much more, now. We only get so many to spend with family, I dread to let work stress ruin that if I can help it. Happily, we can.

[Pandaluver21]

Originally Posted by Cat Herder

No. My program is a little different. My focus is on creating a long term community, not just childcare. I only keep two infants, max. I have little to no turn-over. I don't advertise. It is more a continuation program than anything. I planned to close years ago, they won't let me.

I keep kids until age 6 yrs, mostly sibling groups beginning with their first child. Many of my families stay well over 8 years, here, 2-4 kids. Most redshirt, starting kindergarten at 6 yrs with strong social/emotional bonds within the current and former families along with a solid preschool education. I have multi-generational families, as well. We are rural and most of our families have been here for several generations.

*I don't like to enroll older toddlers/preschoolers as it is harder to blend them naturally into the group. Not in the way you think.

I like new enrollees to be the youngest of the group; learning routines by watching and bonding with the older kids. Then, they slowly work their way up to being the oldest, modeling for the youngest. IMO, Each "sibling" role and phase is valuable in a well rounded early learning experience. To me, it is a more natural way of growing up that mimics how children are generally born into their natural families. My kids are all here almost 50 hours per week. It is rare to have one that is not because that is the job market we have.

IMO, When an older child comes in it can disrupt the established familial roles in the group and make for harder transitions for the entire group. All children welcome a younger child and the group bonds more easily.

I agree with tis 110%! I am just preschool now, but I start with "early learners" which is my 2-3yr old class. I much prefer 3-5yr olds, but I find getting them at 3 is ROUGH! I like starting them off as young as possible and having them grow up throught the program. One little boy I have now that just turned 2, I've actually had since 8 weeks (before I switched to preschool only) and him and his family are absolutely amazing. Any of my other kids coming in older have been SO rough to get into the routine. For a few years (I'd say 4?) I had a class of preschoolers who were all about the same age (3-4) and one younger (2) I did this for several years in a row and loved it. When the older kids aged out (I teach through kindergarten) the now "oldest" gets to help the new recruits!

[Dohare81]

Parents can be like children. They will push and push. I would explain again your policies. Once you explain how it's not working out for you, they will jump on board. I would not give them more than one chance.